Worst Date Ever - Better Judgement?

[InbetweenDreams]

Here you go Ax, just keep this card in your wallet, and pull it out whenever needed.

I am likely to print this out, keep it in my wallet and the next dipshit will get handed this and then asked to exit my vehicle...get an Uber.

In all seriousness, I shouldn't have let it go on or allowed the date to steer in a direction that could put me in a bad situation, or in a dangerous one for that matter. I have to say I have probably been a bit lucky when it comes to dating. There are some creeps out there. Could have been the last date :/

I'm just disappointed in myself really. I know better... there is also a difference between giving someone the benefit of the doubt and just not exercising good judgement. After all it isn't all that bad to be bored on a Saturday versus wasting on a slob of a guy.

[LJay]

Axle, you are apologizing for being a decent fellow. You really just need to build a little distance into your first meetings so that you can escape if need be.

And, um, Ian, just what were you two guys going to do with that jar of mayonnaise, eh?

[SilverBullet]

Just think, he coulda started muttering things and stabbing a little doll with a needle... then ask for some of your blood or a toe nail or something xD

*SEE??? things can ALWAYS get worse!* XD

[InbetweenDreams]

Just think, he coulda started muttering things and stabbing a little doll with a needle... then ask for some of your blood or a toe nail or something xD

*SEE??? things can ALWAYS get worse!* XD

Yeah I suppose that is true. Thankfully nothing crazy like that happened...just wasted my Saturday and a good bit of gas... I mean a quarter tank in a Prius is like over 200 miles lol

I was worried that he might have picked his nose, ate his boogers and then try kissing me LOL

[TwisttheLeaf]

Ok so first, the date...

I wouldn't have left at the 15 minute mark, although I would have been on his front stoop going "Dude, what's taking you so long??"

I would have said game over at the eating with his hands fiasco tho. What in that experience made you think he is in any way "housebroken"?

And, I would have mailed that fucking wallet back priority with tracking. $5.80 in shipping is just not that much IMO to never have to see the guy again. Just sayin'.

Now, as for the car. Febreeze is not going to solve your problem, man.

Try getting some Nature's Miracle. Spray a thin layer on anything he was sitting on or touching, let it sit for about 2 minutes, then use a damp rag to wipe everything down.

I felt like I was somehow obligated or pressured, as if not to hurt this guys feelings... I don't know why I do that, I suppose to avoid conflict....but for the times I get holding the bag of shit I probably shouldn't care so much.

You might want to dwell a bit on the old adage "You can't please everyone all the time."

I know confrontation can be uncomfortable, but it's a necessary part of life.

The good thing is, that because you date first and explore the sex later? You didn't end up fucking that seriously gross P.O.S., yeah?

The problem I have it seems that most guys aren't worth dating...or fucking for that matter.

I'm not sure where you live, yeah? But it very well could be the area you live in that you're finding this issue.

If not, then I'm wondering if you're coming off as a push-over and, thus, drawing these people to you.

The only way to fix that is to try altering your screening process, and stop worrying so much about confrontation.

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION] Yeah when I seen all that crap on his hands I was like what in the fuck man...I almost said something but I'm like yep...too late and waste of breath. At any rate THAT should have been the end of it.

Thankfully no lingering smells in my car but at any rate. If I contemplate rolling down the windows...it's just not going to work....

Yeah I guess in my ripe old age of 30 I worry too much about getting some STI or worse. I don't think I could have fucked him... Maybe after spraying him down with a pressure washer.

Pushover... Yes. That seems to fit, but not always. If I get pissed not a pushover. I go hot to cold, there's no in between. I go from putting up with this shit to call a cab. I'm just not as short tempered as I used to be...

Confrontation. There must be a book called, "It's Okay To Be An Asshole"

My problem is that I have a guilty conscience, I feel bad for being mean... Even when I should be, even when I am right to do so, I feel bad about it. Of course there are those gray areas where you're right but still wrong and make an awkward situation out of things or unintentionally hurt someone. That hurts the most, thinking about some things if I wouldn't break my hand I'd put my fist through the wall.

Anyway, just have to learn when it is ok to be a dick, because like you say and while I know all too well you can't please everyone and trying to please everyone, agreeing to everything someone throws at you just makes you miserable and at the end of the day no one is happy.

Hopefully things will change someday. Kind of gets old, I suppose moving to a city would both include more good guys and probably twice the number of slobs... Just means I got more filtering and have to find other ways of meeting someone... Bad news is my gaydar doesn't work too well, unless they're on fire (metaphorically) I can't tell and worried I might be striking up a conversation with the wrong guy...

[LJay]

[MENTION=23180]axle2152[/MENTION], Please good man, do not think you are being a dick if you are asserting your own integrity in a mannerly way. The guy starts eating with his hands. You simply say, "I'm terribly sorry. I think we should leave now. Would you like to visit the washroom while I am taking care of the bill.?" Then when you are in the car, make it clear that thinks are not working out and that you are taking him home. It may lead to a frosty silence while you drive but that isbetter than putting up with a clod.

Yes, you really do need to move to a larger city. Since you have a job with a state agency, why not look into available transfers. The area you are in is lovely in many ways, but you need another sort of place to thrive.

[InbetweenDreams]

True... Well it is something to learn... Sometimes it is incredibly easy to be mean and other times it is difficult. Would be made way more sense to have no driven so far to dinner... but sometimes you realize you're in for it long ahead of time... that one was almost instant "Uh Oh."

I have heard of people being left at the restaurant while their date goes to the bathroom. I think that is a little overkill. I wouldn't leave someone stranded 30+ miles from their home. The only way I would ever do something like that is if I thought they were going to physically harm me or something along those lines.

In time I will move, for now it is just a matter of getting my business straight, which will take some time. Probably no less than a year, but probably more. Can't have it all lol

There aren't any transfers per say but I do get emails when another place has a vacancy...

[kindy64]

My problem is that I have a guilty conscience, I feel bad for being mean... Even when I should be, even when I am right to do so, I feel bad about it. Of course there are those gray areas where you're right but still wrong and make an awkward situation out of things or unintentionally hurt someone. That hurts the most, thinking about some things if I wouldn't break my hand I'd put my fist through the wall.

Anyway, just have to learn when it is ok to be a dick, because like you say and while I know all too well you can't please everyone and trying to please everyone, agreeing to everything someone throws at you just makes you miserable and at the end of the day no one is happy.

Which is meaner, ending the date when you know it shouldn't go on, or dragging it along and giving the other guy a false impression??

Just stop thinking of it as being mean, you are being HONEST.

[InbetweenDreams]

Which is meaner, ending the date when you know it shouldn't go on, or dragging it along and giving the other guy a false impression??

Just stop thinking of it as being mean, you are being HONEST.

In most cases I agree. In his case, it was almost deliberate... I mean I could be wrong but this was so over the top on how terrible everything was. I just can't believe someone can be that annoying, so dumb and repulsive and not have a clue as to how bad they are. I really kind of wonder. I mean I have met some guys who are terrible.

Bottom line is for as bad as this date went if he has false impressions of how I feel it is his own fucking fault (not counting the final text message I sent telling him that it was the worst date ever before blocking his number).

It is one thing when dinner doesn't go well because he's talking your ear off about crap you don't care about, like people you don't know and all about their business. I've been there. This was abnormal, I "agreed" to things I wouldn't have normally done and regretted it. It should have been kept simple.

I do not feel bad for this guy. So if me being polite is impolite for his sorry ass that's too bad, he's lucky to have got his shit back so quickly, it isn't worth the $5 to ship his stuff through the mail. I'm just glad to be done with him.

To be frank, most guys who I go on a date with and end up only having one date with are never upfront with me. I never get any "feedback" or any indication otherwise how good or bad the date was from their perspective.

So if this guy didn't get a hint then it is his own problem. Bottom line is I put with too much shit trying to date guys and almost always end up spending too much money buying dinner all the time, gas, etc..