Vegetarian boyfriend is driving me nuts

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend’s a vegetarian. I’m a meat eater and it’s becoming a huge problem in our relationship. When I come home from job, everything is fine, he’s waiting for me. Then the dinner time comes ,we sit down to eat and he says something along the lines of

„That pork was once a pig and it died because of your appetite, don’t you feel any pity for it?” „ Do you know that meat eaters die faster than vegetarians?” „ Animals go through so much suffering and you’re receiving it too through the meat”

I don’t care, please just let me have my dinner in peace.

I don’t mean to talk bad about vegetarians. I respect people’s beliefs unless they try to impose them on me. You’re a vegetarian? – that’s cool, that’s awesome, the best for you. But just like I don’t bug you about the things you eat, you shouldn’t bug me about the things I eat. We don’t have to agree with each other, we just need to respect each other’s life choices. That’s what I’ve been telling him a million times, he doesn’t listen. I've never ever reproached him for being a vegetarian, never.

He wasn’t like this when we started to date. I knew he was a vegetarian and he knew I was a meat eater and it never seemed to be a problem. We went to restaurants often and never once did he complain when I ordered meat. This fanatic vegetarianism only appeared when we started to live together.

He even refuses to kiss me and tells me to brush my teeth because he can’t stand the smell of the meat I’ve eaten. We’re having so much arguments about this, almost every single day, to the point when I find myself yelling at him to leave me alone with his vegetarian crap.

I know it’s such a stupid thing to fight about but when I’m hungry and he doesn’t even let me have my meal without commenting it, I can’t help but become angry. He's stubborn and he sticks with his opinions so much that it seems that nothing I say reaches his ears.

I'm tired of fighting with him about this all the time. I just want us to have a peaceful and loving relationship instead of war every evening over the stupidest reason - the things we choose to eat.

What would you do in my place?

[artyboy]

Simple if you stopped eating meat. What will happen to all live stock? I know, sadly that all will happen is all live stock will be killed and multiple spices will go extinct very quickly as there won't be any money in keeping them.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well one meat eaters don't die faster, that is statistically insignificant. Secondly sounds like this issue needs to come to the center of discussion. Have you talked to him about how this is getting on your nerves?

My thoughts are that your relationship with this guy might not end well, a lot of things come out of the closet when you start living with someone it seems.

[Anonymous]

Well one meat eaters don't die faster, that is statistically insignificant. Secondly sounds like this issue needs to come to the center of discussion. Have you talked to him about how this is getting on your nerves?

My thoughts are that your relationship with this guy might not end well, a lot of things come out of the closet when you start living with someone it seems.

I've tried to talk to him a million times, but like I said he's so stubborn and only sees his own truth. And no, I won't become a vegetarian. I could say no to many products, if that was necessary, but meat is a must in my menu. Sorry if that offends someone.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well apparently it offends your boyfriend and it shouldn't. My thing is that this little small issue is going to consume your relationship if not dealt with. I mean I wouldn't put up with that, nor would I force someone to eat a certain way. My advice, would be to turn the volume up. I assume this is become pretty serious as you are posting anonymously here. Anything else going astray besides the disagreement on food?

[Anonymous]

Anything else going astray besides the disagreement on food?

It's just the food we're arguing about but our whole relationship suffers from it. After the argument he doesn't it go for a long time, he doesn't want to talk to me, he's grumpy and his bad mood eventually makes me feel bad as well.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well I don't think, at least on this issue, you're in the wrong. I know something like that can be a big problem. So if he can't get over your eating meat what do you suppose you should do?

I mean it is one thing for it to be a jab or teasing but I get the feel it isn't a jab or tease, this to me sounds like he's genuinely having a problem with you eating meat, having you brush your teeth, etc...

[InbetweenDreams]

More to the point, what goes on when you bring all this up to him, like how are you talking to him about this?

I mean the idea of anyone suggesting you break up with him over this seems to be a bit absurd at this point so I'm not going to entertain that advice.

[Anonymous]

I don't know honestly. It'd be so stupid to end relationship over a food but if he keeps nagging me and bugging me all the time, if we keep having these pointless arguments regularly, if he continues to try to force his lifestyle upon me, I think that eventually it might kill everything I feel for him, as much as I hate to say it. I'm just a human and my patience is not endless.

[InbetweenDreams]

Some people are very controlling. My parents for instance, my dad controls everything, they money, who she can talk to, etc, etc...