first time

[MikeW]

Partner doesn't know... Recently have had a lot of gay urges and want to have a sexual encounter with a male

It's taken e a long time to get back to this thread. Thanks for the reply. That helps me (at least) understand what you're wanting to know.

There are many ways to have 'first time' encounters. Although I'm an old guy, just recently this 21yo college student, TOTAL virgin (yeah, not even with a girl), messaged me on a gay app... we got to going back and forth and he ended up coming to my place and spending the night. He was VERY scared to do that... understandably. He doesn't know WHAT he is but obviously has interest in guys/men. In any case, he had a great time because I know how to make a man feel good and do it in a way that isn't threatening or painful. We didn't get to butt sex and that's just fine. At one point I asked him if what I was doing was as good as he imagined it would be and he replied it was far better than he could have imagined.

SO... assuming you can experiment with a gay app. There're a bunch of them like Grndr, Hornet, Scruff, etc. Check them out. Put up a profile. Show some skin. Don't be afraid to say you're gay curious and inexperienced. Some guys are drawn to that.

Meeting a guy for the first time solely for the purpose of sex is awkward. There's no way around it. (If you get into hooking up on a regular basis the 'awkward' part may pass but there is always a bit of 'fear' or 'excitement' about it... which is good. It's part of what makes it hot.) *Ideally* you meet them somewhere public first. Like the guy that came over last week... We met at a spot out doors, at night, about half way between where we each live. Talked a bit, sort of 'felt out' the situation and then I invited him over. He could have said no and split. No problem.

It will be helpful if the guy you meet for the first time has considerably more experience than you do. Consider what you're 'up for'... what turns you on... what you want. Consider, do you want to just be serviced or do you want this to be a more mutual encounter. Are you only looking to 'play around' or do you want to get into butt sex (topping or bottoming). Be clear about what you will and won't do. What you do and don't want and don't hesitate to convey that to your guy. Be safe. If you do butt sex, use a condom. Be careful of 'scenes' ... like Dom/Sub BDSM. Even if that kind of thing attracts you and turns you on, that shouldn't be toyed with until you find an experienced Dom to train you. Anything else can lead to serious injury (physical, emotional, mental).

There are also the possibility of random encounters out in the world. Going to a gay bar or club and allowing yourself to get picked up. Another alternative is finding out where the "cruising" spots are near you. This could be a public restroom in a mall or a wayside highway stop... or a 'brambles' in or near some park. These are random, anonymous 'hook up' venues where you venture in, show hard (either through your pants or whip it out) and invite someone to give you a hand or blow job. A lot of down low guys are totally into it. (Not my thing at all.)

Let us know if you have any other questions.

[heythere1188]

I def want the full service when I do go for it and I appreciate everyones input it is just a very new thing for me