Gay or straight?

[Lesley72]

[MENTION=24108]Doc[/MENTION], sure I'll stay. You all are fun. & I appreciate your input as well. �� [MENTION=13183]seeking[/MENTION], exactly! Thank you!

[CellarDweller]

It's time to walk away from this situation. He's your ex and what goes on between him and his current wife is not your business.

If they're having issues, she should see a counselor, not contact you.

[Lesley72]

Well, I would love to stay if any of my posts actually show up. I haven't said anything bad. Does the moderator take days off at a time or what??

[Cridders88]

Well, I would love to stay if any of my posts actually show up. I haven't said anything bad. Does the moderator take days off at a time or what??

Never been fond of the moderating system in place for new people. It's not that you have said anything bad, it just randomly picks posts for moderation until you hit 50 posts. It's to attempt to weed out trolls. But sometimes, moderation seems to take a while and it is off-putting to new members I feel. Easiest way to rectify this is to head the game section of the forum and post in the "longest post streak" thread 50 times. Then all your posts will show the moment you post them.

Welcome to the forum btw

[deephiance]

I don't think it is a gossip.

noun
1.
idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others:
the endless gossip about Hollywood stars.
2.
light, familiar talk or writing.
3.
Also, gossiper, gossipper. a person given to tattling or idle talk.
4.
Chiefly British Dialect. a godparent.
5.
Archaic. a friend, especially a woman.
verb (used without object), gossiped or gossipped, gossiping or gossipping.
6.
to talk idly, especially about the affairs of others; go about tattling.
verb (used with object), gossiped or gossipped, gossiping or gossipping.
7.
Chiefly British Dialect. to stand godparent to.
8.
Archaic. to repeat like a gossip.

[MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION] cut her a break you know woman can be hysterical at times

How about we give the poor guy who is being gossiped about and not knowing that his ex and current wife are in all appearances 'ganging' up against the poor guy. Yes he may be a bad person, but he still deserves the respect as we all deserve and not the indignity of being gosspied about by 2 bitchy women who by all appearances 'scheming'

[princealbertofb]

noun
1.
idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others:
the endless gossip about Hollywood stars.
2.
light, familiar talk or writing.
3.
Also, gossiper, gossipper. a person given to tattling or idle talk.
4.
Chiefly British Dialect. a godparent.
5.
Archaic. a friend, especially a woman.
verb (used without object), gossiped or gossipped, gossiping or gossipping.
6.
to talk idly, especially about the affairs of others; go about tattling.
verb (used with object), gossiped or gossipped, gossiping or gossipping.
7.
Chiefly British Dialect. to stand godparent to.
8.
Archaic. to repeat like a gossip.



How about we give the poor guy who is being gossiped about and not knowing that his ex and current wife are in all appearances 'ganging' up against the poor guy. Yes he may be a bad person, but he still deserves the respect as we all deserve and not the indignity of being gosspied about by 2 bitchy women who by all appearances 'scheming'

[MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION], please hold up with the negative words. We got your point, maybe it is gossip (at least it is in your eyes) but don't call these women 'bitchy'. It's uncalled for. If you don't do it for their sake, maybe you would do it for our sake?

PS I don't think there's too much risk that the ex husband and husband will find out what these ladies think about him. It's not a flaw to be gay, but they are right in thinking that gay men sometimes struggle with conflicting interests and act strangely because of it. Is it gossip to try and find out a solution to a question you've been worrying about? Although I too would recommend letting sleeping dogs lie, I see no harm in trying to educate oneself about the ways of the world.

Also, I believe the point of gossip is often (partially) to give someone a bad name, since we don't know this man's name, no one is being given a bad name. He's quite anonymous. More of a blanket statement, a case in point.

[princealbertofb]

[MENTION=24247]Lesley72[/MENTION], to the forum. I can't think of an answer that would give you resolution, I think other members have tried to give you varying opinions which don't really explain any of your ex husband's behaviour. Being gay is a much nature as it is nurture (by which I mean, the way a person would react to discovering they are gay would be mostly influenced by their upbringing and entourage and how safe they perceived being from admitting it). Maybe there are answers in his past but that will be difficult to find out, if he's not been open about his youth. It may be something to do with something which he's been pushing back for so long that it can't come creeping back to the surface without causing great anxiety. These are just hypotheses.

[Lesley72]

What prompted his wife to contact me was that he stole everyone's Christmas money from his mom, including our kids' gifts. She had just found out and there were lies on top of that. She needed support, and we discussed our experiences and attempts at counseling, etc. It is a hurt person supporting another who knows what it feels like and experienced it. They are now in counseling. I told her they needed a psychotherapist, because they are the only ones equipped to deal with sociopathic/personality disorder issues. Our counselor had suspected, but you can guess my ex never went back for after that diagnosis.

I don't have time to post 50 posts so that all my comments show up. Would love to chat with everyone, and I agree with most of the suggestions. Was just obsessing over what I may have missed. Now that I've seen all this, I remember calls from guys in his work phone, etc. &I now that I recognize his patterns for lying, I think he was cheating on me then. I was just naive.

[Lesley72]

Ok, I'm done. Every post I try to explain or reply to is not posting, even yesterday's. I don't have time to do 50 posts just to converse with people.

[princealbertofb]

[MENTION=24247]Lesley72[/MENTION]. Come back in a couple of days. Presumably your posts will have been moderated by then.