Gay or straight?

[Darius]

Lesley, calm down. We've all been there. It's a frustrating form of moderation, I know. One good thing about us is that you will never ask "are they gay or straight?". We're friendly, open and we all have nice wieners. What's not to love, right?

[princealbertofb]

Lesley, calm down. We've all been there. It's a frustrating form of moderation, I know. One good thing about us is that you will never ask "are they gay or straight?". We're friendly, open and we all have nice wieners. What's not to love, right?

I don't know about that, [MENTION=21957]Darius[/MENTION], I'm a vegetarian.... :biggrin:

[Doc]

How about we give the poor guy who is being gossiped about and not knowing that his ex and current wife are in all appearances 'ganging' up against the poor guy. Yes he may be a bad person, but he still deserves the respect as we all deserve and not the indignity of being gosspied about by 2 bitchy women who by all appearances 'scheming'

Why you always, busta ma balls?

[Lesley72]

Congrats on the nice wieners. Sadly, If you're gay, then your nice wieners are useless to me. ��

[Darius]

I don't know about that, [MENTION=21957]Darius[/MENTION], I'm a vegetarian.... :biggrin:

Do vegetarians swallow?

[deephiance]

[MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION], please hold up with the negative words. We got your point, maybe it is gossip

By the very definition of the work it is gossip and their behaviour is definitely bitchy. So my opinion is irrelevant.

The facts matter.

What if the man in question is a member of this forum????

What if there is another innocent man in a similar situation in this forum????

How do you think they would feel if they felt they were being talked about like this??? Betrayed???? Gutted???

Negative words??? The whole situation was negative right from the very start, before I even posted and single word.

[seeking]

By the very definition of the work it is gossip and their behaviour is definitely bitchy. So my opinion is irrelevant.

The facts matter.

What if the man in question is a member of this forum????

What if there is another innocent man in a similar situation in this forum????

How do you think they would feel if they felt they were being talked about like this??? Betrayed???? Gutted???

Negative words??? The whole situation was negative right from the very start, before I even posted and single word.

I understand you don't like gossip and neither do I or anyone, I suppose. But to be fair, on this forum, there are so many other posts asking for opinions about "is s/he closet gay" or "what does /she want" or "Is s/he just experimenting" etc. Yes it is talking behind people's back. But what matters is the intention. If they are asking for help and wants to find some comfort, do not disclose crucial information (eg exact name, city, etc) ; do not have an intention to slender that person, I think it is acceptable.

There will always be times that people need other's opinion. And very often those situations would involve other people in it. (Even looking for counselling would involves that). If even that would upset you that much, I don't know what to say. Isn't it a little bit overreacting?

[deephiance]

I understand you don't like gossip and neither do I or anyone, I suppose. But to be fair, on this forum, there are so many other posts asking for opinions about "is s/he closet gay" or "what does /she want" or "Is s/he just experimenting" etc. Yes it is talking behind people's back. But what matters is the intention. If they are asking for help and wants to find some comfort, do not disclose crucial information (eg exact name, city, etc) ; do not have an intention to slender that person, I think it is acceptable.

There will always be times that people need other's opinion. And very often those situations would involve other people in it. (Even looking for counselling would involves that). If even that would upset you that much, I don't know what to say. Isn't it a little bit overreacting?

Over reacting? I can see how it would be seen that way.

I'm passionate about peoples rights and my advice here would carry over to the many hundreds that have already asked this question in these forums.

These are the things I believe in very strongly -

No one is anything other than what they state..they state they are straight, then they are straight. They state they are gay, they are gay. It is not a matter for discussion by others because in my mind that is gossip.

No one should be backed into a corner to reveal their sexuality which is how I see this ending.

If someone is not hurting you or anyone else, then their sexuality and/or their sex life is none of your business unless they make it your business.

Like I said, I am passionate, I am also very very blunt and I know how that comes across to others, but I simply do not care (I don't walk into a room and wonder if people like me, I walk into a room and wonder if I like people)

Anonymous is only anonymous as long as it is anonymous...and like I previously stated, there could be some people reading this and thinking 'Maybe it is me, if I ever find out my wife and ex-wife are talking like that behind my back there will be trouble.'

GOSSIP HURTS PEOPLE

If you want to know if someone is gay, ask them.

I apologise for my bluntness and my offense, but I am who I am, and I believe what I believe.

[princealbertofb]

By the very definition of the work it is gossip and their behaviour is definitely bitchy. So my opinion is irrelevant.

The facts matter.

What if the man in question is a member of this forum????

What if there is another innocent man in a similar situation in this forum????

How do you think they would feel if they felt they were being talked about like this??? Betrayed???? Gutted???

Negative words??? The whole situation was negative right from the very start, before I even posted and single word.

As I said, [MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION], I did not mean to say your opinion had no value, it is your opinion and you are allowed to hold it. Call this gossip if you wish. I'm not sure that the rest of us reading the original post viewed it as gossip. I think we viewed it more as a genuine request to understand what was going on.

As I also said, no one was named, so does it matter whether this person is a member of the boards or not?

Our views differ and I think we can agree to disagree, maybe not on the definition of 'gossip' but on our interpretation of the original and subsequent posts. I saw nothing ill-intentioned or reprehensible in Lesley's request. To me, you are imputing motives, or jumping to conclusions which were probably not the poster's intention to slight someone.

But clearly it made you very uneasy. We can all acknowledge that. You can air your views, fine, maybe even ask questions to further the debate or the discussion, but is it necessary to pull out the foul language? Maybe not.

I'm trying to explain that your opinion is relevant, I guess, and I don't see why you disown yourself of that opinion. The facts matter, you say? Yes, well they do. Sometimes facts state things that aren't all positive, it doesn't necessarily make it gossip.

Lesley was trying to find an explanation to her ex husband's low libido. I'll grant you that maybe this is less of a fact than an opinion, but let's go with it as being a fact. Lesley's ex didn't have a lot of sex with wife. The new wife says he's displaying similar behaviour with her. Probably fact too, (or opinion ?) I don't know how much sex these ladies expected to get out of this man, nor even whether their expectations were unreasonable. What we're left with is a case to discuss : is it possible for a man to display low libido with a woman when he is in fact gay? Would that be something normal? (I don't know if it is, to be honest, but it is likely, other such cases have been documented of being this way). I know Lesley hasn't considered putting to us the statement that maybe her husband doesn't find her attractive, nor his second wife but then you might still wonder about his motivations for marrying either of them? Are we not confusing 'gossip' with 'speculation' or' hypothesis'? Is the intention to slander or demean?

[Darius]

Maybe Lesley's ex is a member here? Wouldn't he be a riot if he replied.