deephiance Wrote:I am honestly and genuinely disappointed with how superficial you people are.
WHY is it the OPs problem that he doesn't like anal?
WHY should he change to be something that someone else thinks he should be?...[/B][/COLOR]
Well, [MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION], although I agree with you that it ought to be fine for him NOT to like anal sex, it sounded a little bit like a cry for help and also a question about how he could finally make it happen.
An analogy would be that some people are allergic to some foods and should therefore never eat them because they'd be risking their lives. Others don't like a particular product, not because their lives are at risk, but just because they don't have an appetence / taste for it, and some like it because they've tried it and liked it etc... Some even do anal sex because they feel it's a kind of duty or a sign of love for their partner, but not necessarily because they get any enjoyment out of it. But I used not to like olives and now I do, but there are still some olives that I don't care for much because of the salt content.
So it could have been a post like : how do I finally manage to get that acquired taste? It takes all sorts.
So is the original poster's stance that he doesn't like anal sex and never will, and will never engage in it because he's 'allergic' to it (a risk to his life or his mental health), or is he actually wondering how he might manage to do it (maybe out of duty and to feel accepted, rather than shunned) or maybe there is a genuine curiosity in understanding how some guys can find this pleasurable.
Meridannight seemed to think that it's only a question of 'manning up', in itself a little absurd, as this is not a question of one-size-fits-all. Yes maybe the original poster's fears of hurting could be alleviated by some clever foreplay, or someone very patient and gentle. On the other hand, maybe not. Indeed, maybe SergeySokolov hasn't had a very pleasant experience or experiences of anal sex, and we have to admit that having someone try to penetrate you without your consent is rape, or akin to rape so it won't work anyway.
Is anyone being insensitive trying to suggest that there are ways to overcome the fear and the hurt? Is it insensitive to explain how some deal with said pain before it becomes 'comfortable' ? We all have different thresholds of pain, most surely, and also very different bodies. Someone may have a very tight opening, others looser, more atuned ones... some guys will have big penises and some smaller, some may need to use lots of lube, some may not need that much... It is all very circumstancial, and I think we should suggest that it is.
Then there is the problem of how you deal with it mentally. Some tops would never bottom? Why? Some bottoms will be disappointed if their partner won't top ... understandably, some of the expectations might be thwarted.
But it is true that some people will never even go anywhere near anal sex. Either they don't see it as necessary, or they think it's just too taboo, or dirty for words. Does it mean the original poster will never find someone who thinks like him and can be a good partner? No, but it just makes the pickings a little slimmer when it comes to finding someone who'll accept that he's not too versatile.
I agree that there are many ways to enjoys someone else's body other than sticking your penis up their anus. So it is a question of finding that person who is considerate enough not to demand it, not to expect it, and not to pester Sergey about it. But then it does rather restrain the pool of possibilities and opportunities, doesn't it?
No guy likes me because I don't do anal sex...
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