I need serious advice and help reg getting back with ex

[Mesapsa]

I've been involved with a guy for the last year or so. He's in his low 20's, I'm in my mid 40's. I love him unconditionally but not sure if I should continue trying to get him back. I'm very confused as to what to do and he was the reason I came out in December to my mom and sister after all these years, father doesn't know.

Met on Grindr when I was on business. Flew up to see him one weekend and the next he was moving into my place. I'm the who works as he currently has no job, car or ged however he is working to get this and should have it soon.

We broke up, he moved to his friends house 100 miles away. Didn't speak for two months and I was the one to reach out to him. I absolutely love him but just not sure if I should say good bye forever and just keep it friends only. He smokes cigs and weed almost everyday where I've started to do weed but I can quit, he can't.

We broke up over a situation where he would go over to his sisters all the time to smoke weed, got upset with him one night and he left to move in with her, this was in November. He admitted he hooked up and had sex with 5 guys on Grindr. I want to be with him but now I have trust issues and he had sex with a guy on the day I flew back into town to bring him home, he said he was at a girls house spending the night but I got a hold of his cell phone and he was dumb enough to have saved texts messages.

I'm 42, he's 21, this is my first true gay relationship and I'm just lost on what to do. I tell him that I love and care for him all the time and he never does unless I do, he never just says out of the blue that he loves me. He doesn't give me sex on a regular basis? What should an average number be? When we do have sex he is not passionate like I want it to be.

He wants to move back after everything we've been through, I love him but I don't know if I should set him free. I'm so afraid if he comes back that he'll leave me again but he tells me I'm working on things and he sees improvement. He cleans my place while I'm at work, he cooks, does laundry and he feels bad he's not contributing but I told him that once he gets his GED soon that he will get a job. He has no car so I'm having to cover it all.

Any advice would be great. I'm just lost in love with him.

To be honest, he left his email and Facebook pages signed in so I'm able to keep tabs on his activities without him knowing. He has been honest and hasn't lied about things other than offering to give 2 of his straight friend oral but they both refused him.

I've done alot for him. Basically supported him for 4 months, paying for everything, taking him on trips, clothes, cell phone, food, cigs, you name it. He is now about to get his GED so if he comes back he can get a job to help with expenses.

He has hardly ever let me cuddle him, only when we first met and now he says h

[seeking]

Please to be frank to yourself, do you see any traits on him that he is serious in this relationship...?

I think you actually know it deep down but you just need other people to tell you so you can make the decision?

Free yourself.

[deephiance]

2 people in 2 different places in life, it's not going to work.

It is not his age, it is his maturity.

[TigerLover]

Sounds like a dumb kid who's hitting the self-destruct button pretty hard.

Keep you're dignity, don't chase after him. He probably doesn't love you.

[Ammon]

��️"He take my moooney when I'm in neeeed
Yeaaa he's a trifling friend indeed
Oh he's a gold digger way over town
That digs on me"��️

[LONDONER]

Give him up now! You are two totally different personalities. He is too young and immature and if you stay together he will only succeed in dragging you down to his level. Face reality.

[Mesapsa]

Thanks for everyone's feedback. I tell him everyday how much I love him but he never does the same for me. Never let's me cuddle with him and the sex is rare and non passionate from him. I am better off letting him go and dating a bit older. He has no ambition or drive, I do. But he loves it when he gets what he wants as he makes it all about him.

[Dan1980]

I hate to say it but I am afraid to say he was using you. You paid for everything and that was good for him. He saw your vulnerability and used it. It's time to move on and find some one who will appreciate you. It will hard as you love him but time is a great healer.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for everyone's feedback. I tell him everyday how much I love him but he never does the same for me. Never let's me cuddle with him and the sex is rare and non passionate from him. I am better off letting him go and dating a bit older.

Don't let that little selfish fuck ruin your opinion on younger boys, keep dating them if that's what you like

[TwisttheLeaf]

Don't let that little selfish fuck ruin your opinion on younger boys, keep dating them if that's what you like

This. Just be sure to be discerning, yeah?

When [MENTION=20938]Gideon[/MENTION] and I first got together, I was 19. He is significantly older than I am. I have always dissuaded him from giving me gifts (and when that failed, worked hard to reciprocate to the best of my ability). I have never once asked him for money, no matter how dire my financial situation.

I -feel- like he loves me more than I love him. I DO love him, but sometimes.... I dunno. Maybe he just expresses it better? But the fact is that I do love him. I also I respect myself enough to be self-sufficient, and I respect him enough to not use him.

It has always been that way between us. Not all youth are users, takers, or lack ethics and/or a moral compass.