Grindr texting advice needed ...

[Sherman8D]

Hello,

Um I've recently been going on Grindr mostly so I can get a date; I've never been on a date and my bestfriend suggested this might be a good place to find one or just to make more friends in the gay community as well.

My Grindr experience has mostly been Bots and occasionally men who just want sex. I kind of already knew that Grindr is mostly a hookup app, but I'm not giving away my V-card to some stranger. So results have been rather lackluster.

Moving on... When someone tries to text me, I'm not quite sure what to say. I usually just say "Hi, what are some of your interests?" Either they don't text back or they answers me. . . OK, so when they actually reply back with an answer, now what?? Should I immediately just ask them if they want to have a date or hangout? It doesn't make sense to me to ask any more questions. Isn't the goal of being on Grindr to meet with that person to see if you might like that person irl? Ugh, I don't know.

Look man, I'm just an introverted person and I keep my circle small. I rarely talk to strangers and I don't always know what to say to them.

So I will greatly appreciate any advice here. Ask me questions if y'all want, too. I'm an openbook.

[MHJG]

Yeah you can just ask to meet for a coffee. I used to think I only meet guys when we can chat well through text messages. Later I found out that face-to-face conversation is very different to texting. Sometimes I can chat with someone really well when we meet, but I have nothing to say when we text and vice versa.
Now, I even hate non-stop texting. I can't do that.
Or you can chat a few more days first. Actually you can feel that if this guy worth to meet after a chitchat.

[drobs]

Usually in online dating the next step is to ask them for their name and a phone number then see if they will meet up with you for coffee or drinks somewhere nearby.

You have to be direct - make sure it's known that your only looking for friends / date not a hookup.

Most guys on there are only looking to hookup.

[Alvin]

I used to have those dating apps, thinking that I might get to know others as friends before a date. It turned out to me that sometimes (or maybe most of the time I would say), I get nude pics for no reasons. There is only one I have been staying in touch with till now, and we exchange a few words occasionally. Maybe it's hard to have a date on those apps where people have their specific needs to be satiated. Oh, that reminds me of a quote from Ellen Degeneres, saying

...for all of you young people out there, you won't believe this. But in the past, to start a relationship, you had to talk to someone in person for a while, and you had something called conversation. And when someone rejected you, they would reject you in person.

I think I am just old-fashioned even though I am young (I assume you would allow me to call myself "young" in my late 20s. If you don't...well...bite me. ) A friend of mine at this forum (Hey! You know I am talking about you, right? Just wanna say thank you again.) recommended another app called "meetup", in which you could find local groups (not necessarily LGBT, but all kinds of groups) for you to meet others in person. I joined in an poetry club and actually went there yesterday. It was a huge fun to build a connection with those who share the same interest as you do. I guess the same is true if there is an LGBT event, for people will at least show up and have a conversation. You may have a bigger chance to know someone and see if the two of you would love to go further.

Good luck with your future relationship.

[Matt608]

[MENTION=24431]Alvin[/MENTION], love that quote - was it [MENTION=20933]LJay[/MENTION], sounds like him. And yeah, I guess I'm old-fashioned too.

To the OP, IDK --- the thing is, if you ask to meet immediately, with no conversation at all, thay think you just want a hookup. My friend used Grindr, but had pretty much no luck in finding anyone who wanted anything more than a quick fuck. I don't know if other sites are better, maybe some of the other guys would have some suggestions. I guess I tend to go with Alvin on this one, meeting people in person works a lot better for me.

[LJay]

[MENTION=24419]Matt608[/MENTION], per Alvin's post, the quote is from Ellen DeGeneres. She does make sense.
Shy guys--like me--just need to get out and around.

[Camfer]

Well asking more questions is a *part* of keeping the conversation going, so you shouldn't shy away from asking more questions. But, you should share something about yourself and try to keep a bit on the topic on what they responded. That way it doesn't come across like an interview, where you do all the asking and they do all the answering. The point is to be interesting so the guy wants to keep talking with you.

Asking to meet up right away stinks of desperation, and you're not desperate. You want to have enough of a chat that you each determine it might be worth meeting in real life. So then when one of you (preferably *you*, don't be passive here,) suggests meeting up, it doesn't feel abrupt.

[Alvin]

[MENTION=24431]Alvin[/MENTION], love that quote - was it [MENTION=20933]LJay[/MENTION], sounds like him. And yeah, I guess I'm old-fashioned too.

To the OP, IDK --- the thing is, if you ask to meet immediately, with no conversation at all, thay think you just want a hookup. My friend used Grindr, but had pretty much no luck in finding anyone who wanted anything more than a quick fuck. I don't know if other sites are better, maybe some of the other guys would have some suggestions. I guess I tend to go with Alvin on this one, meeting people in person works a lot better for me.

I believe LJay just answered your question.

[Delishes]

You are using a wrong app,try dating online dating sites instead of grindr,if you want to know the person rayher then having casual sex.chances of you finding a date on grindr is not very high,wrong platform