Is Gayspeak Really A Safe Place?

[Doc]

Yeah but you have to understand in the military there is a pecking order, and those that actually serve in combat are seen as better than those who sit safe in the rear. So no its not really the same but thats a story for another topic.

In my environment gay is seen as weakness and perception is reality to me. But I actually meant weakness as in bitching out over a post, I like to see how those guys handle a physical altercation.

[Cuddly]

I feel safe here.
Completely safe.

I don't care for the drama though.

[Gideon]

[MENTION=21558]
[MENTION=20938]Gideon[/MENTION] two things

First, forgive me but it seems silly needing online safe space, I think physical bullying is much different than online bullying. One of these things is not like the other, in one of these things you bleed.

Second its nobodies fault that I had these experiences they made me into who I am today. Physically and mentally hard in the extreme. I am not even able to cry even if I wanted to, Ive become a very cold person, but these things made me resilient.

Its hard for me to sympathize with pyromancer the world is cruel place and there are alot far worse off than he.

It seems silly to you, but perhaps online is the only safe and accepting place some people have, yeah?

The world is definitely a hard and cruel place, and maybe a bit of acceptance and a "safe place" no matter where it is, will help someone else not to feel like they've become "cold but resilient".

I'm not saying you're a bad guy, or even that you're wrong. I'm just trying to show you another perspective.

We've been to a few of these type of forums now, and there are some that I'm simply not okay with Twist being a part of. Not because he can't handle himself, not cause he's not perfectly capable of making a big man feel about two inches tall(trust me, I know this well *Chuckles*) but because I am protective and immersing himself in an atmosphere that is abusive in nature just is not okay.

Abuse comes in many forms, yeah? Physical is only one of them. Verbal and emotional abuse can cut much deeper and leaves wounds that sometimes never heal. You might not bleed, but that doesn't make it any less damaging.

From what you said above, it sounds like you've retained some of those emotional wounds of your own and I'm sorry for your pain, man.

[Doc]

I guess there are some things that I will never be able to understand, but I'll will accept it and trust your word on the matter. Im not actually the Devil I cannot reach through the computer and kill you or anything, you are safe from me.

I hope that you too can understand that I come from a very different background from growing up in the Baltimore slums to the Army. These are very physical and violent cultures and people are given value based off a number of things mainly physical and mental toughness, loyalty to your group, gang, crew, unit, and in both places homosexuality was despised. I really dont have the time to explain the nuances. But please trust that my opinions dont come from me being born an evil person. I see things much differently and I struggle to understand alot of what you guys are talking about, please except this.

[Gideon]

[MENTION=24108]Doc[/MENTION]

Never thought you were evil or a bad guy, man.

Obviously you've had a rough time of things and I can respect that as well as your right to your opinions and beliefs.

My attempt here wasn't to do any more than to maybe help you understand the "other" side of this whole discussion, yeah? To maybe show you why some people might need and appreciate that "safe space"

Have a good one, man.

[Doc]

Believe or not I was considered one of the more nice and reasonable people back home and this was after I broke somebody's arm with a garden hoe for insulting me. Im well read and as a kid the other guys considered that feminine.

I think everything is relative and it was unfair of me to compare my experience to the other person who may not understand the world Im from anymore than I understand theirs.

[Emiliano]

[MENTION=21558]Emiliano[/MENTION] Because
Im a Republican, Im very conservative and I have a different mindset than most. Ive admitted to being a violent man and I despise weakness. Im an outsider and the only thing I have in common with the others on this forum is my sexual orientation. I make a good bogeyman, rather than try to understand me, folks would rather demonize me. If I had feelings Im sure they would be hurt right now.

I dont doubt that how you identify politically and socially are at odds with how others identify politically and socially here. But its important to keep in mind that its not you vs EveryGayEverBecauseAllGayMenWhoArentYouAreExactlyTheSame. We are all complex, made up of many different identities.

You are not the only conservative on here. You are not the only guy on here who has served in the military. You are not the only one who grew up in a tough neighborhood, who comes from a place that is unaccepting of homosexuality, who has had it hammered into their head by their families, their friends, their society that being gay is bad or weak.

But yes, those different identities we all have are often at odds with each other. I've certainly got into it with people on this site over clashing non sexual identities. But more than how we are different from each other, it is how we express those difference that I think leads to conflict, or more specifically to being demonized, to being seen as the bad guy.

How do you express your differences from the other guys on here? How do you assert those other identities? Is it in a respectful way? Is it a neutral way? Is it an aggressive way?

[Doc]

Do you want to take this to chat?

[Emiliano]

You are always welcome to hit me up on the chat if you want to talk privately.

But I'm going to challenge you to keep this on the public forum for now.

One, because I'd rather see this continue as an open discussion, or at least make it accessible as one. I'm not the only one who might have something to say or something to add. Who knows who might jump in here and offer some thought provoking contributions or present the other side of the original issue.

And two, because chat jams up my computer and its finally now just working normally after I was talking to someone else earlier, and I'm trying to watch a movie.

Plus, if we are saying that the need for a "safe space" is a weakness, don't get all pussy faggot on me asking me to provide you with one. Be a man and express yourself openly.

[Doc]

I just thought it'd be quicker