Cheer me up? I've messed up with someone I really like

[InbetweenDreams]

Well, I have had one of those experiences with fucking things up with someone who I had a really huge crush on. Of course hindsight being 20/20 I only feel stupid and embarrassed by my actions.

So I know how one can feel with all the excitement, giddiness and joy one can feel having a crush and how quickly your emotions can do an 180 to anxiety, panic, anger, jealously and just being outright irrational...and acting stupid. It's always more fun too when there other people involved.

[baristajedi]

Well, I have had one of those experiences with fucking things up with someone who I had a really huge crush on. Of course hindsight being 20/20 I only feel stupid and embarrassed by my actions.

So I know how one can feel with all the excitement, giddiness and joy one can feel having a crush and how quickly your emotions can do an 180 to anxiety, panic, anger, jealously and just being outright irrational...and acting stupid. It's always more fun too when there other people involved.

yup, all of those same emotions can swing back and forth so easily, what happened, if you’re willing to share? No worries if it’s too personal.

[LJay]

As was said: "Slow down, you're movin' too fast. You got to make the moment last..."

Thanks S&G

[baristajedi]

i just realised something and it's helping me realise exactly why things crashed and burned with the girl I was dating. So I mentioned that this crush had gotten in touch with me on FB and that's who i'm meeting this weekend.

well the conversation on FB started on Friday actually. And now I realise that that played a huge part in all of this bad stuff with the other girl. Ok so H = first girl who I'm no longer seeing, S= crush, my date this weekend.

Anyway, Fri morning I got that comment on FB with my crush, and there was a little flirty banter (I wasn't really intending to come across flirty, but I suppose I was), and then she said "I'd love to see you again". When I saw that message I was like struck immediately with feelings and i was thinking, yeah, I'd really like to see you too. But I had been having such a wonderful time with H, things were sooooo good. So I looked at the posts from my crush, looked at H's photos on FB, looked at the crush post, looked at H again, and when I saw H's picture I was really struck with feeling stuff, so in my head I think I kind of really quickly evaluated, do I like H enough that I would not want to see what happens with my crush? For context as well, I had actually planned to contact my crush sort of a bit out of the blue just before I met H. So this just all seemed like such odd timing.

Anyway, I made my evaluation and I chose H. I think in that moment I was like nope, i'm totally in with H, I really like her. I sent her a really open message, telling her how strikingly beautiful she is and stuff about thinking about her. And I think that's the first time I noticed... her responses were less open than mine. The next day another thing in our messages nagged me in the same way....

And then from there, the rest is all the stuff I've already shared.

Also when I went back to my messages, I see as well that her tone actually really did change a lot towards me. I can see now what made me go into my overanalysing. It wasn't simply that I really liked her. I think i felt like fuck did i make the right choice? Is she even as into me as I am into her? What am i even doing?

Not that any of this matters, but it really helps me feel a bit more relaxed about where my head had gone... I also feel like the fact that the more open i got with H, the more she backed off says a lot.


Even just in the conversation with my crush yesterday, she was already super open and expressive about how much she likes me, there's nothing being held back. That feels way more natural to me, i mean it's really obvious we like eachother, there's no having to hold back words and thoughts.

[InbetweenDreams]

Oh yeah, I've been in similar predicaments. Although, I don't know that in my case it really changed how I felt. I don't know, emotions are complicated at times.

Bottom line is, if it feel natural and you're not stressed then that is generally a good thing, it shouldn't feel stressed. You shouldn't feel as if you have to put on a show...it'll all come out anyway. I mean if I can't wear sweatpants around the house then what is it really? lol

[baristajedi]

Oh yeah, I've been in similar predicaments. Although, I don't know that in my case it really changed how I felt. I don't know, emotions are complicated at times.

Bottom line is, if it feel natural and you're not stressed then that is generally a good thing, it shouldn't feel stressed. You shouldn't feel as if you have to put on a show...it'll all come out anyway.  I mean if I can't wear sweatpants around the house then what is it really? lol

yup, totally agree, it shouldn't feel like parts of it are forced. i don't know if my crush and i are suited yet, we'll have to get to know eachother better, but i really like her, she's also really stunning, and i love her energy, and it all feels really totally natural in the way it's flowing.

[CellarDweller]

Good to hear! Enjoy yourself, and enjoy getting to know her.

[Bookworm]

yup, totally agree, it shouldn't feel like parts of it are forced. i don't know if my crush and i are suited yet, we'll have to get to know eachother better, but i really like her, she's also really stunning, and i love her energy, and it all feels really totally natural in the way it's flowing.

  @"baristajedi" 

[baristajedi]

Another update, lol. My crush, the one I had a date with, we spent the whole weekend together, she stayed at mine, and it was amazing

Another update... the other woman from before, she worked out that I was meeting someone this weekend (long story), and she has sent me a weird message about it. Meh whatever. I don’t have time for that, I’d rather enjoy what I’m doing.

[Cridders88]

Aw, glad the date went well, hopefully it continues to do so and feel more natural than with the other girl

She sent you a weird message? As in she's having second  thoughts? Regardless, it seems to be going well with your crush so you're right to not really dwell on it.