Just found out partner has cheated on me, don't know what to do

[betrayed]

bbbbb

[betrayed]

bbbbb

[CurtCB]

"your head knows what is happening. your heart needs some time to catch up."
Listen to what Marsh is telling you.
Don't hire an investigator use that money to find a place of your own. He doesn't love you in a way you deserve and he won't.
Also Peter is correct Not all of the gay scene is a meat market. I belong to a gay ball club and go to a gay pool hall, no one has hit on me there. We even have a small brunch crowd on Sundays at the Shaw center and spend Sundays downtown at the casinos wasting our change.
You are gonna be fine. It will hard for a time but you will be better off than if you stay in a relationship that will drag on becoming more and more painful to you.
You know there could be someone just waiting for you to come into his life, who will truly love you with all of his heart. You are passing that by while staying with someone who is just keeping you hanging on.

As for how I have handled things. It's been good and bad.
I got back into gardening which I love and I decided to make some career changes to pursue my dreams and not just have a job.
On the bad side I've been drinking more than I did before. I picked up this guy who couldn't have been more than 18 brought him home had sex and never even asked his name. My best friend's boy friend told me he had a crush on me and I slept with him destroying a friendship I have valued.
I rearrange my furniture like once a week. I had my hair dyed black and had to have it dyed back to blond. I bought all new clothes and well I need to take half of them back because they aren't me.
So I am still having my issues, but I am facing them with my eyes wide open.
I hope you will do so as well.

[betrayed]

vvvvv

[betrayed]

vvvvv

[marshlander]

I just can't believe I was so taken in by this guy, he was so convincing for many years. Thank god I found out now rather than even later. Independence Day is on the horizon... All of a sudden, the prospect of being on my own got a whole lot more attractive.

It sounds like things are moving forward. If you have a sizable savings hoard I hope you have enough for a deposit on a new place. Good luck with getting your loan returned although you may end up having to write that one off if you haven't yet agreed a plan for repayment. Even a few quid a week would eventually chip away at the loan.

[betrayed]

vvvvv

[fredv3b]

I don't even know why I'm writing all this drivel, I guess it's just that I've always been better at expressing myself in writing than in speech, I'm able to order my thoughts better that way and I think I find it cathartic. I hope what I'm writing might help someone else out there.

Been there, done that!

I am not very good at 'feelings stuff', so, I am afraid, the only advice I have to offer is of the practical kind. Here are my suggestions.

1. Accept whatever feelings David still has for you, they are not the same as you have for him and they have not been for some time.

2. Try to end things with David in a civilised and dignified manner, he clearly does not want to hurt you (even though that was what he did), outing him to his parents is something you are going to have to live with.

3. Don't worry about David's future, possible marriage, kids, etc. That's his problem and you have enough on you plate at the moment.

4. Continuing to live with David is probably not a great idea as it will keep reminding you of what used to be and what could have been. That said finding somewhere affordable in London is easier said than done.

5. Widen your social network, there are plenty of gay social events that are not meat markets. Google a few.

6. Accept that you are going to feel rough and find things difficult for a bit, so don't be hard on yourself.

[betrayed]

vvvvv

[72jay]

I really can't really help with what to say on your relationship since i've
never been in a relationship or even dated...probably shouldn't even be
replying here..........

I have always tended to be shy, since my teenage years.

I've also always been shy & quiet (way too much so...LOL probably even
shyer than you :eek: ? ) thus the reason i have few friends and no relationships.

All I want is someone who will love me and be faithful to me; a passionate sex life just isn't a priority for me.

Never thought i'd hear anyone say that...i feel exactly the same way...i want
love (i think) - someone who would truly care and be true - but not so much
sex...(but that'll never happen)
My biggest fear when it comes to a relationship is basically the situation
you are in now - falling in love with someone then finding out they cheated.
Really don't know what i'd do there - i'd probably get out as soon as i
reasonably could.
LOL I need to clone myself or find someone like you LOL

-anyway hope all gets better for you