I know that I have a drinking problem.
I can admit that, both to myself and to others.
The problem is, I don't know where the solution lies.
I can go to AA/ASAP, which is a bunch of people talking about why they have a problem and doesn't usually result in anything.
Or I can get put on drugs by a doctor which works until you get off the drugs.
So what are my real solutions?
I don't know.
I would like to know. If anyone has any ideas I'd love to hear them.
Richard
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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I've been in and out of treatments for the past 6 years now. currently i am out and absolutely enjoying life. I do not attend meetings or take medication of any kind. I have learned a lot about myself through all the treatment and taken a lot from it. The thing that is different this time around with me being out is that i have not accepted i have no control. I have total control over my actions at all times and I know when to drink and when not to. for whatever reasons in the past i have made bad decisions but now i refuse to. I just see how that type of behavior destroys my life and any chances i have of being happy. So I choose the better of the two... idk please pm me or email me or anything if you have any ?'s or just need someone to talk to. I take these matters very seriously and would love to talk with you... Good Luck and just make the right decisions and know that you have the power to
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I dont know of any advice as have never had to deal with this, however Richard, your part of our family and if you ever need to talk i am always here.
B x
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One of my relatives found AA very helpful but he had a “mentor” who he related to very well. It also helps him to abstain when he is in a good relationship. I feel sure, however, that it would be totally counterproductive to have a sexual relationship with your “mentor” (I don’t know what the word is that they use at AA, or even if there is a “correct” word). My relative is not gay and his mentor was an older man. Personally I think medication is not a good solution in the long term – you might just exchange one form of dependency for another.
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Hi. Richard.
By admitting you have the problem and wanting to sort it out, is a good start. Some people who have a drinking problem denile that it is a problem and do nothing about it. Can I ask what triggers your drinking, work or personal life?
Can you curb the drinking by staying away from areas where you are tempted by drink, in your job this might be very hard to do. I think you have the strength to fight this and win, just finding the right solution for you might take some time. You may need to try different types of medication, and together with support from good friends and wilpower, you should be able to overcome your problem.
Good luck and been postive.
Rychard
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If Sponsors have to be of the same sex in AA, it might be best to look elsewhere for support. Unless you are bisexual. I would also add that I would avoid any support group that had an agenda that is not compatible with your own (e.g. religious groups, if you are not religious). There is a lot you can do to help yourself, for example reading about the problem, but I think that you would also need the help of other people, both professional and others. The problem is obviously to find the right people. You will possibly need to try with a few helpers of various sorts before you find the right ones. You will get there in the end if you keep trying.
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I think, Richard, you will find it easier to deal with this problem once you are finished with the army and you can come out. For the moment, it may be a little difficult to break the pattern,especially with the usual people you probably hang out with, who would not understand such a change in behaviour and not help you to change it. But I may be wrong. Still, you are right to seek a solution now as this will have to be addressed sooner or later, if only to keep you safe and sane. Best of luck with the weaning.
PA
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Do you really want to stop/cut your drinking?
I know that sounds a silly question but there is a significant difference between recognising the problem exists and actually wanting to deal with the horror of sobriety. (I know I drink a little more than I should but I know that I have no desire to actually drink less so I know that any attempt to cut would be futile).
Once you have decided that you really want to cut your drinking, then you need to decide what you are going to do instead. Some people can attend an social gathering where people are drinking alcohol and stick to soft drinks, I know I can't unless I have to e.g. I'm driving, if you can just order soft drinks instead then that is OK, but if you can't then you need to socialise where people stick to coffee. Similarly, if you like a beer or two after a hard day, what are you going to have instead?
Just my tuppence worth..
Fred
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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You're very perceptive there Fred, I definitely don't want to completely give it up, what I want to is to return to the state where I am in control of it and I don't just keep drinking because it is there.
What I chose to do this weekend was just not have more than I wanted to drink for that day in the house, has worked out to this point, I stayed sober yesterday so I ould go to my friend Andrew's show, which for me on a Saturday night is quite an achievement. Probably what I really need to do honestly is just get out of the house, that should keep me from getting too plastered.
Richard
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