Need more experienced advice...

[salamander7]

Ok, I am posting here because the other forum I have been posting on is specifically for teens, and so I feel the most of the advice I have been receiving is based on speculation rather than experience. I'll try to paraphrase as best I can, but needless to say bunches of info will get left out. It would appear as though I can't post links, so if you want to read the other (very long) thread, send me a pm and I'll send you the link.

So, I am a senior in high school. A friend and I are both participating in a BOCES program, which we carpool to together along with a girl from our school. Long story short, I fell in love with him, it took me a long time to realize I was in love with him, and then an even longer time for me to start to believe that, based on many of his actions, he liked me two. We had one aim conversation that went very badly, because I was trying to get him to admit that he liked me and things were awkward for a few days but soon got back to normal. About a month ago I decided to tell him I liked him, but he told me that he wasn't gay and didn't have any feelings of affection towards me. HOWEVER: four days later, on a school field trip (3 guys, two beds in the motel room), he chose to share a bed with me the first night, which was not something I would have expected. Also, I've noticed him looking at me when he thinks I'm not looking at him. Generally, it seems he is acting way to comfortable around me.

He isn't the kind of person who most people would think is perfectly straight. He is quite metro, and usually dresses in khakis and argyle sweaters. (on a side note, today he wore light pink shorts and a yellow polo that made him look like a package of starbursts). Also, he is our class's prom king and very athletic, yet he turned down the only girl I am aware of him considering a relationship with in order to stay friends with her for the rest of his life.

I know the simple answer is he just doesn't like me 'cause he told me so, but as his close friend that just doesn't seem like the whole story. I was wondering if anyone here had any experience with a situation like this? I would be more than happy to answer any clarifying questions.

Thank you!!

[fjp999]

[COLOR="Purple"]hmmmmmm, he sounds really yummy.

I have never had such an experience but hope it turns out well for you.

I guess the thing you have to look forward to is a good friendship - since he has continued to be your best bud after coming out to him and expressing your feelings.[/COLOR]

[eastofeden]

My advice is to enjoy yourself..this sounds like a very erotic and exciting guy for you so enjoy the ride because it isn't about the destination...it is about the journey! Let it unfold as it will and Have Fun!

[salamander7]

Basically what I'm wondering is...

When I tried to ask him on aim if he liked me, he got all defensive about it. If he did like me, he probably figured at that point that I was straight and getting creped out by him staring at me from time to time. So, maybe he was trying to stop himself from feeling that way. When I told him I liked him a few months later, I caught him by surprise. The conversation went something like this:

Me: This is probably going to sound strange, but I really like you
Him (almost instantaneously): Cool
Are you trying to make a move on me?
Me: Not if you don't want me to
-Long pause-
Him: I don't
I'm not gay



Just wondering if this is a possibility. I don't want to falsely get my hopes up if there is zero chance of him liking me.

[clarke33]

Forget it, he is straight. A wank fantasy maybe, but a shag...not a chance.
Not all straight guys are repulsed by a gay guy making a move on them. Some of them would be quite flattered. Your mate is one of those guys. You say he is quite metro, so my guess is that he likes to look after himself, and to make himself look good. Your pass at him would be nothing more than an ego boost to him.

[salamander7]

Forget it, he is straight. A wank fantasy maybe, but a shag...not a chance.

What makes you so sure?

[SilverStudJ]

he may be in denial or may be one of those confused str8 guys or a st8 guy who leads gay guys on

[salamander7]

I kind of want to say he's unsure of himself. If he was feeling anything for me, he was probably trying to repress it. Then I go and tell him I like him, it must have been major mindfuck.

[clarke33]

What makes you so sure?

but he told me that he wasn't gay and didn't have any feelings of affection towards me.

That is it in a nutshell.
Every now and then my gaydar trips off, and I try and work out if someone is gay or not. I try and watch for all the little signs that might tell me, just as you have done. Normally always find they are straight.
You are lucky to have a friend that doesn't give a shit about your sexuality. Keep him as a friend. Don't go making any moves on him, it will just piss him off.

[salamander7]

I wasn't planning on it.