Hmmm. My story is still in process....
Well it was about 2.5 years ago with my friends and sister. Went to dinner with friends to announce... didn't happen. Told them one at a time... one after another, "Yeah. We know." Told another friend, she fell over (literally) into the coat rack. I just assumed she'd known, she didn't. She was cool. My best friend's brother is gay so she didnt' care, nor her family. Her husband started to quit bothering us when we went out... he was the jealous type.
My sister finallly asked me at midnight when I came in (living with her at the time) if I was gay... reason why she asked was because my personality towards her changed. We are very close, talk about everything (and I do mean everything). I became withdrawn. . . we talked. She cried for a day. I bought her books to read and we talked. 2 days later we were back to normal. She had to mourn the brother and life she thought I would have.
My dad found a pflag flyer in my car... and a journal I kept for about 2 weeks when I first started to date my bf... basically in the journal that I really wanted to have sex with John (bf). So he knows, but we don't talk about it. It's one of those things where it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.
Well my mom is oblivious. She actually attempted an arranged marriage with a friend's daughter. We both rejected one another and refused to participate. SHe has yet to see the truth, even though it is obvious.
My folks are going to be meeting my bf in the spring when I graduate. I do not find it necessary to introduce him any sooner because they don't need to know. It took me 3 years to introduce my best friend to them, and they still haven't met people I spend time with. I've always been that way, I am not close to my folks....
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According to yout experience (I still haven't told my friends), do friends take it in a 'softer' way that parents, or it more or less happens the same (some of 'em dont want to speak to you anymore, or they just forget you -how terrible, above all else if they were considered friends-, or its hard for them to understand, and they feel disappointed, sort of things like that)?
Thinking before doing it, i darethink my friends will understand it perfectly, teenagers and young adults nowadays have different attitudes to humosexuals. Maaaybe some of ''knowns'' that are not exactly friends of mine would 'throw me to the bin', or if i get to know people with the starting point of saying i'm gay, i would have extra difficulties. Is they really love you as a friend, they will continue doing it whatever happens, or not??
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Well each person is going to be different. I associate myself with people that are kind of ... odd. The artists and loners..... we all are pretty accepting of each other's little ... quirks. So none of my friends cared at all, in fact most knew I was gay before I did. [I wish they would have told me sooner and saved me all the headache (>_>) ]
Generally, imho... friends take it better than parents for the most part.. it's because you choose your friends.
I look at it like this. All relationships have a certain life expectancy with certain things they accomplish. Here is my classification of friends:
1. fair weather friends (someone there when things are good, but you don't go to for anything important... work friends, in school only friends, etc). They are there for the little stuff and you really won't miss them when they are gone.
2. Summer friends (people who are there for months, sometimes years, who you can talk to and go out with). This is what most people I talk to are... I enjoy their company, I'll be sad when we part ways but I won't get depressed. They served their purpose in my life and that's that. good times and good memories.
3. Life friends (people you can talk to no matter what and you can actually count ont). These are the people that are in my life that I trust and would devestated to lose. I only have 2 of these.
For me # 2 and 3 are the ones that don't tend to care, #2 seem to get shocked more often then #3 (i think it's because most people don't open up as much to summer friends then to life friends). It's #1 that are the douches and I could care less about them. If they let that one detail ruin a friendship, then goodbye, good luck, get lost.
I've only had 3 people stop talking to me, and you know what? I could care less. I think most people's true friends will not have an issue and you'll get more support than anything else...
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Yeah, distance doesnt matter only that i havent see them for a long long time and miss them. these friends i cant compare them to many not even to some family, i know them since i was 11 and they know me well, we dont judge dont get offeneded ect. There is a great understanding between us cant have that with everyone. One of them is having a baby girl soon so i will have to go soon see the baby and will probably be the godfather:biggrin: Lucky kid. Ha! Although i wont always be there for Xmas birthdays ect...
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aww. this thread became so touching! i love it.. and for the different types of friends.. i dont care for the names of the types, but you have it pinpointed to a t baby, those are exactly the people i have in my life, and it comforts me to know
that someone else feels this way
there are some really fun stories on here. some sad..
some are really empowering
thank you guys for your input.. im sorry, i was gonna write something more meaningful.. but i just kinda lost train of thought.. it happens way too much GOMEN!! *sorry in japanese*
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My mom also told my family. The only ones that dont know are the ones that live in the USA.. (KY) They are catholic and Im scared they will have the same reaction than my dad... I care alot more about the family I have In KY than I do my dad... Dont want to loose those, but I know Im not going to hide it forever... Its too much to hide. Its like hiding your whole life.
..... I so am putting off studying.... just don't want to do it.
