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Money Issues...
#1
Hey Guys! Smile
Just a quick question about the partner and money issues...
Basically it was my Birthday on 2nd, and I said to him not to get me anything due to him not having the money. However, we were going to go London on the 4th for Pride, however we realised whilst waiting for our train it finished day before so we got our money refunded. I then suggested a meal & cinema, to which his reply was i cant afford it...
That evening, I invited him to come to the cinema with me and my family and he was busy seeing cousins which was fair enough. Later i find out that before that, he had gone TGI's with mates and today is off to Oxford to see one.
I just feel like he doesnt want to do anything with me, unless im paying for it. I used to always pay for almost everything until i actually ran out of money, and we split up due to having to stay in most evenings and being bored tbh.
I just feel like he is using me as like a free bank? What would you recommend doing/saying? Sad xx
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#2
awww that really sad
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#3
sorry to hear that m8, unless his mates paid for him at TGI's then he lied to you about his finances, why counldn't he tell you about goin with his friends anyway ? it may cause confrontation but just ask him where you both stand, if he's spending money whilst saying he has non to you then something is wrong - he may feel while you have always paid then why should he use his cash, he may have got used to the bill been taken care of when your out together, hope things get sorted and you get back to been a happy couple - best wishes
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#4
Weve had so many issues, and broke up a couple of times too, just I love him to pieces it hurts when it feels like he doesn't want to spend time with me doing something special and couple type things. I went on a date a while back (when was split from bf obv) and when he paid I felt so special and wanted, but I rarely feel that now Sad! Just so hard when I feel so strongly towards him
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#5
Adzz02 Wrote:Weve had so many issues, and broke up a couple of times too, just I love him to pieces it hurts when it feels like he doesn't want to spend time with me doing something special and couple type things. I went on a date a while back (when was split from bf obv) and when he paid I felt so special and wanted, but I rarely feel that now Sad! Just so hard when I feel so strongly towards him

hi mate
not to sound like a stalker or anything, just read a few of your other threads to understand what was going on properly. I think really deep down you know were the relationship is going. Its obvious you love him a lot, and you are desperate for it to work, but he really doesn't seem to value you. From what i understand your relationship has been on and off a lot, fair enough every relationship goes through their high and low points, but there becomes a time when you really need to step back and take a look. Picture yourself in 5 years, do you see yourself with him? He seems to have some issues, and i think you need to look out for yourself more than him now, he isnt respecting you, and is pretty much walking all over you! And so far he has got away with it, as you keep on getting back together. you have given him chance after chance, far more than most people would do, and you are the one being hurt by it all.

Im sorry if that wasnt what you wanted to hear, but thats honestly what i see from the outside looking in. You deserve someone who loves you equally as much as you love them, i know its hard breaking up, but start to put yourself first, and what you want! that seems to be what he is doing!

If you ever want a chat about it you are more than welcome to message me!
keep strong! Lee Bighug
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#6
Lee Wrote:hi mate
not to sound like a stalker or anything, just read a few of your other threads to understand what was going on properly. I think really deep down you know were the relationship is going. Its obvious you love him a lot, and you are desperate for it to work, but he really doesn't seem to value you. From what i understand your relationship has been on and off a lot, fair enough every relationship goes through their high and low points, but there becomes a time when you really need to step back and take a look. Picture yourself in 5 years, do you see yourself with him? He seems to have some issues, and i think you need to look out for yourself more than him now, he isnt respecting you, and is pretty much walking all over you! And so far he has got away with it, as you keep on getting back together. you have given him chance after chance, far more than most people would do, and you are the one being hurt by it all.

Im sorry if that wasnt what you wanted to hear, but thats honestly what i see from the outside looking in. You deserve someone who loves you equally as much as you love them, i know its hard breaking up, but start to put yourself first, and what you want! that seems to be what he is doing!

If you ever want a chat about it you are more than welcome to message me!
keep strong! Lee Bighug

so insight....Biggthumpup
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#7
Thank you for that Lee Smile.
Its hard when all my friends tell me basically get rid of him, I dont like to listen to it tho bcos of how strongly i feel towards him. When he says about him going out or whatever that makes me angry/upset at him, i just want to get rid of him, but then i see him and those feelings completly go away.
Perfect song to sum it up would be Rihanna & Ne-Yo 'Hate That I Love You'.

Thank you for the advice so far, I just need to think on it all really, wey up the pros nd cons x
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#8
Have you made that list of pros and cons yet then? What's the result.... Ditch or keep??? Money isn't all that matters in a relationship but if two things can make it or break it, it really is SEX and MONEY... when one of those goes wrong, the relationship tends to fall apart. Where are you at the moment in the SEX department? (love included)... If you can come to an agreement about the money situation, then that would be fine too. Accept that you can sometimes afford to pay and sometimes you can't. If your boyfriend can't accept that sometimes you are having financial difficulties too, it's not fair on you and it will strain the relationship. Anyway, how can you be bored when you're with the one you love???
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#9
Adam, I am so sorry that you are feeling used. But, you know, quite a lot of people who feel they are being used actually are being used! You probably dont realize it but you could live to be 90 - he too. Do you want this to go on that long?
As things are, you are young and gorgeous and will not be on the shelf for long, unless that is what you want.
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#10
princealbertofb Wrote:Have you made that list of pros and cons yet then? What's the result.... Ditch or keep??? Money isn't all that matters in a relationship but if two things can make it or break it, it really is SEX and MONEY... when one of those goes wrong, the relationship tends to fall apart. Where are you at the moment in the SEX department? (love included)... If you can come to an agreement about the money situation, then that would be fine too. Accept that you can sometimes afford to pay and sometimes you can't. If your boyfriend can't accept that sometimes you are having financial difficulties too, it's not fair on you and it will strain the relationship. Anyway, how can you be bored when you're with the one you love???

Our 'love' side of things is okay, weve never really been that involved with it. Not the full extent anyway. Ive always wondered if that would effect it, but i dont think it has done really. I used to be jealous of the fact he was going out and where "The Scene" because of what he had told me, how it was full of slags etc but then when he turned 18 he hasnt left! He goes there more or less every week, whereas i prefer the straight clubs and like to go to the scene every once in a while for a laugh. I dont mind anymore that he goes there, but again he is off there tonight which is another £20 on friends. In terms of the boredom, Due to me having spent everything i had saved (almost 3k) plus other wages on doing stuff, i literally couldnt afford it anymore. So it would be nights in with the TV / film, which yes does get boring but i didnt mind bcos i was with him.
@peterinmalaga - Im not so sure about the gorgeous part there Tongue x
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