The problem is that I cannot ejaculate during sex. I am definite I am gay, I can masturbate and ejaculate while watching gay porn, while thinking about men etc. I dream about men and basically I want to end up with one. I came out some months ago and have had some gay experiences: basically one night stands so as to get over the fear of being a virgin. Now, I have had full intercourse with two guys about whom I had no special feelings, in fact no feelings at all. We were both looking for someone to spend an hour. I had an erection during foreplay and during sex but I couldn't come. I had a second and a third erection and again sex and etc. but still wouldn't come. The guys were supportive but didn't actually ''play with'' (u know) they laid back and let me do everything. So we went on like this for a couple of hours. At the end I was exhausted and the other guys, bored of waiting for me to come, came on their own. So it has happened both times. As far as the other guy is concerned he usually looks content - but I was more or less depressed, anxious and embarressed. Especially when I get the question ''does it usually take u so long to come?''. I am frustrated. I think several things. Am I not gay? I have known myself to be gay all my life and still I can't imagine sleeping with a woman. So what's wrong? Is it because I prefer relationships to one night stands and make fairy castles in my dreams? Or is it because I press myself to do things so as not fear that time is passing by without my taking advantage of it. What do I mean? If I can't have a partner let's have some fun. Should I see a specialist? Psychologist, sexologist and where should I start from? I was just google searching about this and came across something termed retarded ejaculation. Of course all the info were for straight couples wanting to have children. Do you have any idea about something more gay-oriented. Thank you guys in advance for your help.:frown:
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Hi anonymous
I don't think U Have a problem. I think its just you are used to masturbation and you new to anal sex. I remember I couldn't cum inside in my first anal sex sessions and I had to wank at the end.
It takes time, just don't worry about it, cos anxiety with sex can cause real problems, and also you don't want to ruin that great feeling of the first cum in anal sex by being nervous when it comes, do you? let it take its time and till then u have all ur body and you partners' to enjoy.
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Hi anon,
Sounds like nerves to me and will resolve when you become more relaxed and comfortable. Dont put pressure on yourself! Seems like you might be focussing on the goal - the orgasm. Its like when you cant get to sleep but really need to, you end up focussing so much on the fact you shouldnt be awake that you spend the entire night annoyed with yourself because you are not sleeping - if that makes sense. Them (the guys you had sex with) laying back and letting you do you stuff also piles on pressure to perform.
You could always try withdrawing and finishing off by hand, or maybe try 1-2-1 rather than 2 guys, or try with someone different!
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It happens, or doesn't. In my cruising days I'd usually cum more quickly than I wanted to, but if I went home with a man I'd rarely be able to cum at all. I've decided I prefer being in a relationship and the sex is altogether much more satisfying.
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Maybe you can only come when you are in love with the guy you have sex with :biggrin:
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You're just not used to it yet. It took me a while before I was totally used to gay sex.
I didn't ejaculate the first time I got a hand job or blow job, but after a few I was able to. Another important thing about anal is that you might not be able to pump your bottom fast enough to make you ejaculate. I had this problem when I first started dating my partner. He had never bottomed before and he didn't like the speed I needed to actually ejaculate. He's gotten over it now, but that's another thing to consider.
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Its known as "retarded or delayed ejaculation". There's nothing to worry about. At least you don't suffer from premature ejaculation which is sort of embarrassing.
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you have nothing to worry about my first time with gay sex and my second and third was the same thing i liked getting the other guy off and then me but now after time well I like to cum together so it will happen
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