I have been in a long term relationship of 18 years. I repeatedly surpress feeling of being trapped or that I am now settling. I was only 23 when we got together. I am struggling because part of still loves this person, but I can't remember the last time we were really passionate or truly intimate. We enjoy the same things but spiritually we are not in the same place now. I keep thinking that I was so desparate for a relationship that I didn't stop an realy evaluate our compatibility for the long term.
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I'm a : Gay Man in an Open Gay Relationship
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Well my only advice would be. Follow your heart.
If you love someone more, Then so be it. A part of you may still love your current boyfriend, but if he truly loves you, he will let you be as happy as possible, even if it means you're not in a relationship with him. Or at least thats what i think.:redface:
I have never been in a relationship, so maybe i'm not really qualified to give an answer, But thats my opinion, but i urge you to wait for other peoples advice first, for obvious reasons.
mile:
Silly Sarcastic So-and-so
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Have you talked about with your partner? How do you feel, what you feel? I think that leave him is the easiest way but after such a long time, perhaps not the best. Maybe he still hasn´t recognized the situation and not at all noticed that you are suffering?
You should at least give you both the chance to save something. If it is not possible, you can still separate.
Another thing would be, if you would not feel for him anything. Or your love has changed to hate - then it would have no meaning. But this impression I have not.
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18 years is pretty much, I must say. Have you tried to work it out with him? Talk to him? See how he feels?
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Hey - life is short, I think you already know what you need to do its just finding the courage to do it.
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I think there are special challenges the longer you are in a relationship...the key is being willing to face them both as individuals and as a couple together. I call it evolving both personally and as a couple...some things you need to let go of but only you can decide what these things are, Being brutally honest with yourself is always a great step in the right direction. I have been in a relationship now almost 25 years in a few weeks and I am extremely happy but I had to go through alot of hurdles along the way...it is part of the journey. I wihs you luck in your decisions...they are never easy.
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Dude! Stay! I got out of my first true one and I was 23 when I got together with him. I still can't fathom why he left me during his first (yes it was his first true relationship, actually first ever relationship for that matter) and yeah he's still not over me. I'm totally and highly suspicious over this...
Anyhow... dude, I feel you should stay. You're almost at the 20 year mark! You can do it! Trust me, you can do it and hopefully he can do it too. Like another person said, follow your heart. I have a gut feeling things will get better as time goes by. You just got to believe.
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Congratulations on reaching an eighteen year milestone. That's quite something. The way you talk about your relationship makes it sound as though you don't really talk much about the important things anymore ...?
You could just walk out and leave it all behind, but I think you probably owe yourself the satisfaction of trying to open a discussion with your partner and laying some cards on the table. Of course I am sure you will try to avoid sounding as though you are accusing him of something. It could be that he is feeling the same. Have you talked about it at all?
Best wishes.
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