Hi, I spose many of you are like me and are doing or have done the whole interent dating site thing. It's laborious to fill out the profile questions. I always think it's funny when you come to the section about TOP, BOTTOM or VERSATILE. Because for me, and I am asking what you guys feel or think, I dont like to label myself as one, even versatile, because for me its about chemistry and when I meet a guy and we click I know who's gonna be the B or T, and that's just gow its gonna work.
I dont like to label myself Versatile in the profiles because then the assumption can be made that you will reciprocate or that you expect too... and sometimes you just dont want too
They should add a click box, 'Needs Discussion'
What do you think???
AJ
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
I don't like to fill out that question on such profiles either. For starters, I'm not a huge fan of anal sex. Not that I haven't participated over the years and not that I haven't had pleasurable and enjoyable experiences. However, I just tend to express myself in other ways when it comes to sexuality and intimacy. Also, I agree that sexual roles differ from partner to partner. There have been partners who make me feel more aggressive in bed and those that make me feel like being more submissive.
I also just don't like to reduce my sexuality down to labels anymore than I have to. I've just never been one of those people who is one hundred percent into the leather scene or the bear scene or the club scene, etc. I like and respect aspects of all those scenes but tend to be a bit more ecclectic than that. I also tend to avoid speaking of a "Type" of partner that I like. I love men of all sizes, colors, ages, models and personalities. It all depends on sexual chemistry and compatibility of lifestyles and personalities.
•
Simply, put, either works for me! But, I do see your points, the role of male on male sexuality is much more dynamic than a check box. I do love the "Needs discussion" box!! LOL!
•
I agree it is too reductive. While it does fit in with the instant gratification dynamic of a hook-up site it is surprising to hear that dating websites aren't a little more realistic about what couples actually do!.
•
yeah, there's a couple of places that have "let's talk about it" OR "ask me" some kinda permutation...
I know exactly what you mean though, roles tend to be more defined by the person and even the physicality... but then there are some guys out there who are 100% top, oral only, whatever... I rarely ever chose dates based on a category ^_^
•
yup i agree perfectly because it does need discussion
•
