I mean to say that I am open minded. I have been snooping round on him to see whats going on and that is a trust issue but I have been working on that and descided not to snoop again. I guess I keep telling myself that I will be okay with the situation and I wont shut down. I will want to talk about it. I don't see him as a bad person to my kids or me. I want to talk with him not find something in his e mail that will have me a mess and then I'm livin with it until I cant no more and then I exolode. Those e mails were doing that. Now I am more relaxed about it I still don't know how to bring it up and talk with him but, but I guess I have to do it the best way I can. I cant expect someone here to tell me what to say or how to do it.
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Cynmart, I suppose one way you could bring up the conversation would be to discuss whether you are giving him enough attention concerning his sexual needs. I know sometimes women don't feel so much into sex when they are breastfeeding and still in the pangs of childbirth and delivery. I had suggested earlier that maybe he'd felt neglected but didn't want to impose his sex drive on you on account of the children. Not sure what I'm saying is true; but is there a way you could broach that subject with your man, and maybe ellicit some new answers if you show him that you trust him to remain with you and the family, even if he is getting his sex kicks elsewhere as well?
Basically what I'm saying is maybe you should ask him if he's getting enough sex, since being on the road as a truck driver is obviously going to be a bit of a strain on your relationship with him (when he's not there etc)
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I just spoke to my boyfriend. He is coming on the 25th. As usual he says he misses me a lot and he cant wait to be with me . he misses the kids too. I am worried. what if I get caught up on what might be going on with him to warm up to him and his tlc. I just hope his gifts come with a big helping of sincerity and that his feelings for me havn't changed.
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Hope it all goes well and you have a great time with him and the family.
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If he is actually cheating (having sexual intercourse with other people) then it may be time to leave.
Otherwise...
Maybe you should have a heart to heart.
Just show your love and affection and let him know whatever feelings he is having is completely natural.
Love is what he needs.
Don't be hostile.
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I will cut to the chace and say I had fun for christmas . hope all had a great holiday. Talked with my man and he claims hE loves me dearly and would never do anything crazy over the road to bring back a disease to me.... I went along with it and was happy for the time we spent visiting his family and so on. Now I said I wouldnot snoop in his e mail...again but I messed around and got into his adam4adam account and saw many messages. One said in a reply Do you need services? I am coming up with a lot of things in my mind but if anyone can tell me from a mans point of view the whys and details of this lifestyle then I can be smart about how I deal with this situation. I am so tempted to look at all the messages but i got to lay low for now. I got to go now.
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I'm glad you had a good Christmas. After that I don't really know what you want, so I'm just going to spell it out as I see it. I don't mean to be hurtful, but I'm pretty sure this will be blunt.
"Talked with my man and he claims hE loves me dearly and would never do anything crazy over the road to bring back a disease to me"
If that is what he really said it's interesting for what he doesn't say as for what he does. He's really only saying he's going to be careful, not that he isn't going to see men. And the reading his messages thing ... come on! He knows you can get into his account and yet hasn't changed his password and you keep reading his personal messages??? Relationships rely on trust and for a relationship there is a lot here that isn't being said. Being open is also being replaced with quite a lot of relying on hope. You hope he is being sincere and he hopes he has left enough clues so he can believe he hasn't lied to you.
This is only my opinion, but as an expert at covering my own tracks for many years while I came to terms with being gay, I think that the best you can hope for here is to enjoy what you have with this man while you are still together. Digging into his messages is not going to tell you anything you don't already know, but it will make you very unhappy as it raises more questions you don't feel able to address directly to him. If his behaviour, real or imagined, doesn't finish your relationship, your unwillingness to let him have his privacy will certainly undermine the foundations in time.
I'm sorry to say it, but only you can make the decisions as to what you need for your family and for how long you can carry on in this state of limbo.
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I dont need to read anymore messages on his account to know what he doing. I know what it is and i realise all i can do is wait and see what happens. will he come out to me or will he just be trying to figure out who he wants to be and keeping me cause he love me. I believe he is confused and now he has time away to experiment. find himself but I fear he just dont want to hurt me so how long will this last. when will he be true to himself and true to me. I just cant be a strong woman and confront him. I cant expect him to come out to me so I will just love him as always and never stop.
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I will stay with him but I know only god can change him so I will give him time to sort things out.
If he supports my kids with me he will do it without.
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Yes, I was thinking that way too, Cynmart... I think if he supports the kids now, he'll always want to support them. It's just that your relationship with him might eventually be doomed, if he finally admits to being gay. But maybe he's happy to be bisexual and have both kinds of experiences... If you're ok with that, well he's one lucky guy. Good luck to you.
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