Was I too hard on him?

[Synaesthete]

People make dumb assumptions all the time. People think I'm mentally slow because i'm in a wheelchair. Maybe that WAS a quick reaction but....then again.....hardly anything gets to me. So don't go by me. lol:biggrin:

Mick

I AM mentally slow, and a lot of people say I am intelligent.

[fredv3b]

Straight men do the same to me on a daily basis and I just accept it as a vexing fact of life, its because he is gay that it got a reaction out if me.

[Synaesthete]

Straight men do the same to me on a daily basis and I just accept it as a vexing fact of life, its because he is gay that it got a reaction out if me.

Does it put you in doubt about your own sexuality, if a camp (supposedly the ONLY way to be gay) gay man got you wrong?

[fredv3b]

Does it put you in doubt about your own sexuality, if a camp (supposedly the ONLY way to be gay) gay man got you wrong?

No. I have never doubted my sexuality, only denied it. Perhaps it's because it made feel as I did when I was in denial.

[wclark03]

An interesting conversation at work occurred yesterday. I got briefly talking to someone at work I've never really spoke to before. He asked if I had plans for the weekend, I told him that I was Christmas present shopping for my other half. He asked what SHE does for a living? I told him what HE does.

This guy is camp and stereotypically gay, I am not. I have to say that I was rather annoyed that a fellow gay man assumed that I must be straight, because I am not camp. I used quite a cutting tone of voice when I said the word he. Half of me now feels guilty about this, the other half of me still thinks he should have known better. What do you all think? Was I too harsh?

Before I do respond, I'd like to ask.
Should he for any reason already to suspect that you were gay?
Many guys who are gay do not want to mistaken a straight guy for being gay so they will ask specifically directing to the "she" pronoun, discretely finding out the other person's true orientation.
If he truly had no reason to suspect you to be gay, especially since you do not fit the gay stereotype, maybe you were a little harsh. Try apologizing and see if a friendship might blossom.

From personal experience, many of my friendship were created through interesting misunderstandings.

[fredv3b]

He had no reason to suspect that I am gay. However on the otherhand he ought be well aware that not all gay men are camp.

[East]

Maybe he just annoys you in general and if someone else had asked the question it might not have been as annoying to you?

[fredv3b]

He doesn't annoy me in general, although on the other hand, from what little I know of him, I'm not fond of him either.

[Marvinteck]

I think you were a bit harsh and what you did was uncalled for. Can you point out every gay person that you see since you are gay? I sure cant. However i wouldnt bring it back up if your coworker doesnt. Just in the future be more understanding that people cant automatically detect that you are gay.

[fredv3b]

@ Marvinteck

I would not mind, nor be surprised that he thought I was straight (even my boyfriend sometimes thinks I am straight). It was that he assumed it, not just suspected it.

As I have already stated it's not that he thought that I am straight but that he assumed that he must definitely be correct that I am straight.