Having a relationship with a married guy? If you were in their situation...

[TheLovebird]

First i want to sorry if this thread is not suitable there.
This topic is very common in gay community in my country Vietnam. I don't know whether it is or not in your country and the same one was created.
Dating/Having a relationship with a married man is so complicated. Someone says that Love is not right or wrong, if you love him, just do it. The other give strong disapproval of this. they suppose you are ruining a family, and it would never bring you a good result, remain you sadness and hurt cos he is certain to come back to his family.
Maybe this topic will cause both negative and positive ideas, but i want to hear all your idea about it.

[theyetisleeps]

My "boyfriend" now is a married straight guy, and while we are somewhat serious, the whole thing has to be kept on the dl. I can't say that I'm a really big fan of it, cuz I'm not. But I'm enjoying myself for now, and when it's over I'll just go on to find a new guy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is enjoy what you've got while you've got it. Your life won't be over when the relationship ends, and there are plenty of other guys out there.

Ironically enough, I just wrote about this in another thread, but here's my response. Ha, I love it when I can quote myself.

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

Know what you are getting into. if you THINK he will leave his family for you THINK again,this only happens in the movies. If then

[Nocturnal]

Gotta agree with MNSL. It's a mistake 90% of the time to get into a relationship with a married man (or woman) because when the cheated-on finds out, the shit hits the fan and just goes downhill from there.

[TheLovebird]

Honestly, i'm an example in this situation. I was with a married man, the diffrence is he would divorce his wife and i came to him after he had told me about this. So it is 50-50 for the situation. But day after day, i realised that something was changing. We can't be with each other for many reasons, not because he is a married man. He has two children, he has his business, he has many things to worry about, many people to care for and i don't feel happy with those . I can't wait and i said break up with him. The point is i can't get over it. Everything about him is sitting in my mind . I'm full of contradictions and tiredness but have to pretend to be happy cos i don't want to make anyone worried. Shame on me!

[marshlander]

... I'm full of contradictions and tiredness but have to pretend to be happy cos i don't want to make anyone worried. Shame on me!

I don't know about "shame on you", but certainly it is a shame for you that you are in such a difficult situation. Anyone who engages in a love affair with an already attached person is asking for a broken heart. At some stage someone's heart will be broken - if not yours then either your lover, his partner, someone in the family or, sometimes, everyone's. :frown: