ex-- overly sensitive or making a big issue ?

[reserviert]

hi all
i have a situation, which has been eating away at me for quite a while now...
my boy friend of over 1yr still has contact (sms, calling, meeting up) with his ex of 4yrs. i think i'm being overly sensitive, but i'd appreciate any advice you could give, or any experience you may have had...

that they stay friends is one thing - i think this is normal with some guys (not with me, though - i have no contact with my ex bfs..) - but that bf calls and sms's, even when we're together in a restaurant, walking or just chilling, makes me insanely jealous and incredibly insecure... he tells me this is rediculous, as if he wanted to be with his ex he wouldn't be with me....

if this were all, it would be one thing.... but ex still has my bfs spare house keys, uses bf's washing machine (and 'accidently' takes my clothes, if i have any at bf's place)... i don't know... if this normal ?maybe, like i said, i'm reading too much into the situation.... but has anyone else seen anything like this ?

at the end of the day, i do love this guy, which is why i don't up and leave at this behaviour - and if i do say anything, he gets stroppy and defensive...

advice ?

thanks for any help you might be able to share
nico

[East]

I dont' think you should indulge your jealousy or insecurities and I would suggest to you to take the same energy it takes to fuel these thoughts and use that energy to elevate yourself to a higher understanding. Jealousy fueled by insecurity or anything else is quite unattractive and will kill your spirit if you leave it unchecked.

[fenris]

I agree with East .... and I think there is only a friendship between your bf and his ex ... stay cool... and don´t be jealous

[genderqueerio]

Sounds a little fishy to me. Then again I may be biased, I've had that happen to me as well and it ended up ruining our relationship. Is he blowing you off for this ex? If so that could be a red flag.