Thank you, OrphanPip. Thing with me is, I sometimes feel SO frustrated when I look at my body, it's like I have gone so far as to I can't stand seeing straight couples kiss not to mention having sex (I dont even want to think about that...and then I know that one day I will have to be in the position of the WOMAN when having sex. not that I want to dominate or anything, equality would be okay lol)
I can't quite understand what I am. I mean, in this video they explain stuff like what transsexual and transgender and cross-dresser mean, but...they say that someone who is undergoing a change in gender isn't really homosexual, but just identifies as a heterosexual individual of the opposite gender. While with me, as I have mentioned above, it's like I identify as a homosexual individual of the opposite gender.
I get so scared sometimes....because I would REALLY like to change my gender and all, but it would be totally artificial if I do. I mean, the penis and all, and they would have to give me hormones and stuff in order to grow facial hair and in order for my voice to change.
I hope to be able to cut my hair this summer. Try it short. When I go to college I hope to be able to get rid of my breasts. I don't know how I'm gonna do it yet, there are several procedures...
But I am afraid that no one will like someone who is in the middle of this. It's like I won't be a woman OR a man, I will be neither...I am soo scared right now...
I think this videos and stuff.... is only a frame what can be, whats to do but it should be not a guidance which you have to accept one point after the other. See it as a help for some decisions ... not as a strictly to handle Instruction. Do what YOU feel what is right for you... not what others think you should do.
And why nobody should not like you if you decide that you some thinks don´t want to do. I know here a female-male person ... and he is happy, so it is Ok.
Don´t life for declarations of words... life how you want to feel it is right for YOU.
Don't worry about the inbetween, I mean a lot of people would date someone who was in the middle of the transition to man and woman. You also have more and more people identifying as "pansexual" a term that includes the genderblind meaning these people do not see physical gender only how a person is identified. I know a lot of guys who would go out with a MtF so there must be some who would do the other way around.
While I cant give advise because My totally gay brain waves would urge you togo through with it just for the sake of adding one more penis to the world ( kidding haha )
I can definitely tell you with confidence that you need to change only the things you dont see as yourself. For instance Its not like I hate being a red head. But recently i thiought of the person ive always aimed at being. they way I WANT to look and dress. So I just up and dyed my hair for the first time in 22 years. Its not as extreme as the change you are asking about but its an example. If you decide to go through with this make sure its because of who you are on the inside. Be who you want. But dont do it if you think its how other people should see you. In fact I would say being a gay man in a womens body is a rather endearing trait. Its different and wierd in a great way.
Good luck in deciding. Block out all the imput including mine and think for yourself.
OMG that is so cool I love gay trans guys!!!
The guy that took my youthgroup last year was F2M He was so cool and his boyfriend is so cute and is starting to go through chemical transition!
His voice is starting to break now!!!
You can probz find them on NZs very own queer youth forum (I'ma mod for it) Curious - Don’t fit in. Stand out
Sign up and you will be able to ask him I think he is admin now. He moved towns to study.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. As my therapist says, I have a homosexual boy living in me, so to speak, and this boy is who I am. I kind of despise mostly everything feminine about me...and it really bothers me sometimes that I can;t get past some gender differences. Because for example I can dress like a boy, act like a boy, or rather the way I want to (it's really sort of a mixture), but I can't go around without a shirt and I can't feel anything when I put my hand between my legs. So yeah.
And I've been thinking a lot about this surgery that changes your gender/sex/whatever. But I don't know much about it. Is it possible for a woman to become a man? If I do it, hom much will I change? Will I be able to get a erection? All those things. I would be extremely grateful to anyone who can give me some information on the case. :]]]
Irina :]
Irina, there's a new film out called TOMBOY, have you seen it? Are you going to see it?
You are young yet but it does appear that you have some real issues to deal with. I have my own issues with gender dysphoria and the one thing I have found out 100% for sure is that it does not go away. Lotts of information at this site Transsexual Road Map
My heart goes out to you because this road of life is tought enough with out having to deal with wether or not you like your given sex. Please take the time to seek out the best information you can get before you do annything. Big hugs
I can only imagine what you must be going through. It all sounds very tough. Whether you identify as a male or a female does not end all discussion about whether you prefer to have sex with a man, a woman or both. Sex, sexuality and gender identity are not the same things. As I may have mentioned to you in the past, I have a German penfriend who was born male, grew up, fathered a child and finally embraced her female identity. However, sexually she is a lesbian and has a girlfriend. Nature is rarely benevolent, but sometimes the tricks it plays seem so cruel. Nature, though, is a process and not a purpose. It is neither cruel nor kind; it just is. What is cruel is the list of "rules" we have devised to control our lives and through which we identify that which is desirable or not. Unsurprisingly what is desirable in natural processes seems to favour majorities. What you are describing indicates you are in a minority within a minority and many people cannot even begin to think about what that means. No wonder you have so many things to think about.
Any decisions you make are likely to have permanent consequences. You have friends here, so try not to despair as you work through all these things.
So I should follow my own desires and not worry about anything else..? But...how? I mean, it is up to me to set things so in mu life that I can get at least a bit close to happiness. I can't just change myself, become what I want to be and then wait for everything to come to me.
Josh, thank you, I will try to contact your friend. I think it will help, I'm trying to get as much input from people around me about this as possible.
Thing is, I don't really think that I want to go through the whole procedure. Because if I do get a penis, it will be totally artificial and stuff, it won't be a real penis and I bet I won't be able to feel anything. Then, all the hormones and stuff they give you....:X I'm stuck here, in this damn body...
Shousld I try special therapy or something, to come to terms with what exactly I want and feel? I mean, maybe it would help me accept everything and...oh, I don't know... It's going to be so fucking hard, cause I'm such a mess inside, I mean, there's a ton other stuff I need to work out...
I have gone so far as to I can't stand seeing straight couples kiss not to mention having sex (I dont even want to think about that...and then I know that one day I will have to be in the position of the WOMAN when having sex. not that I want to dominate or anything, equality would be okay lol)
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