I can't take it anymore...

[XRIMO]

I don't know what the fuck is going on with me... I'm breaking down more than when I wasn't fucking sleeping in university...

I think I need to separate myself from this site, as its not helping... for all the kindness and support, I'm sinking into a deeper pit of despair... reminding myself here daily that no matter what I'm alone...

I need professional help... I've been catching myself starting to crack at work, where I'm a completely different person. I nearly started crying today at work...

I can't stand it, and if I can't find something to help, I'm going to lose sight of any hope...

So I apologize for my selfish behaviour and my hollow soul.

[matty7]

hi m8 - go to see your doctor asap - ur here crying for help i can see that. your not been selfish at all venting on here ,,, go see your doctor tommorow and tell him how ur feeling - your mind is just like any other part of your body to a good doctor - you need help xrimo m8 and there are many treatments that will help you - please so and get the help you deserve == dont hold it in and suffer alone - there is help for you = please post back as soon as u can

[fenris]

Xrimo... here are so many people there for you.... you are not alone.
I think it will be good to go to a doctor.... but I think this site is good for you, too.
We all are sometimes a different person as here ... at some friends ... at the job and so on...that is Ok and not a problem.

[TyD]

Hey..

If you think leaving this forum is going to help you then there's really nothing we can do but hope that you'd get better. And like what matty7 said, it's not selfishness what you're doing. Just remember that if you want to talk, we're all here to listen. We may not be with you physically but that does not negate the fact that you're not alone.

[azulai]

XRIMO: be patient with yourself. Definitely go see a doctor and talk about what is at the heart of your despair. It's ok to cry. It's ok to be afraid. I actually think it's important to be selfish at this time, you have to do what is best for YOU to regain your center.

*big tight hug*

You are not alone. You have so many people that respect you.

[Darius]

Okay, if you're that emotionally fragile right now, you definitely need to see a licensed physician. Until you figure it out, I recommend setting some time aside to really delve deep and try to figure out where all this is coming from, alongside regular visits to a licensed therapist or counselor. (it's not a bad thing. I benefited a lot by going to one for several years. Only stopped because at a certain point he told me he thought I was well-adjusted enough to do without therapy, and I haven't really needed it since. It helped me work through a lot of dark stuff.) Surf the net a bit and find a local therapist who is recommended as sensitive to LGBT issues. There are plenty of listings of gay-friendly businesses out there.

You mentioned feeling alone. Have you looked into local LGBT clubs/organization/rallies/charities/support groups/meetups? I know I often feel alone when talking with other LGBT ppl on the net because it always feels like they're a world away and I can't seem to have any real or lasting contact with them. Finding an in with your local gay community, or even supportive people, can be an amazing and deeply fulfilling experience.

[Vikta]

I think most if not all people have mental breakdowns at one point or another...for various reasons... I know I've had my fair share. I've found keeping an honest journal helps, something I've been doing for the past couple years. A complete novel of raw, unadulterated emotion. It's not a quick fix, but if you're serious about exploring your emotions, reactions, behaviour and anything else that might be causing you grief, a journal could help.

It's a never ending battle to stay sane, for some moreso than others.

good luck ;^)


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[Ultra]

Well do what you think is best for you. That's pretty much it. Good luck with this.

[fredv3b]

I agree with Matty (again), go see a doc.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Psychologists/Therapists/Psychiatrists are usually very helpful, given it's not a woman you are talking to. I really hope things work out for you. But really, when you can have somebody figure out things for you...it's much better. Good luck!