masculines vs effeminates? =S =S

[IanG]

I'm very much a live-and-let-live type of bloke. I've known a few
effeminate guys and they're ok, though they're a complete turn-off
sexually and I find that the waspish bitchiness can be a bit grating.
Nevertheless, they deserve kudos for being so upfront about what
they are.
When I was growing up in the 70s, the only gay images I was exposed
to were of straight men pretending to be screamers and playing it for
laughs. I knew I fancied men, but not that type of man and I knew I
wasn't like that.
I think that's the reason why this subject is a touchy one for so many
gay men. It's tough enough coming to terms with your feelings without
being expected to behave in a way that's not natural to you.

[princealbertofb]

...
I think that's the reason why this subject is a touchy one for so many
gay men. It's tough enough coming to terms with your feelings without
being expected to behave in a way that's not natural to you.

Well said, and an interesting analysis, Ian.

[luke500]

well, i find im also slightly put off by feminine gays, i dont know what it is, i think to be gay is to be attracted to the masculie side of guys. Perhaps that is why most gays are slightly put off by the feminine ones :confused: . Gives you somthing to think about anyway

[sweetlad86]

I'm not into feminine to, not sure why but what I do know is they pee me off lol!

[CardShark]

I don't mind femenin fella's I think to certain levels its rather sexy.
But when I can't say I like men in women's clothes I find that freaks me out a little .

[Aaycle]

This post is as old as fossils, I know! But, I am reading every post on this site I find intriguing, and provocative. Well... this is it!! And as I read the comments (every one of them) in a numb and depressive state (brought on by the majority of responses), I can't help but to feel assaulted, and mortified. Simply, because, I would be considered an obvious homosexual here in The Bahamas (considering homosexuality here is an non-existent underground macho affair), because of my naturally androgynous appearance. I am not Camp, or overly effeminate, in my actions or dress attire but I am certain deliberative speculations ensue wherever I may be. And to have read that 91% of masculine acting men here would rather not see a "Camper", or "Queen" be themselves in public, disheartens and hurts me. Whenever, following generations enjoy the fruits of labour by people that have made successful strides for human rights (sometimes at their own perils or death), they tend to be complacent and indifferent; and in their indifference, they are intolerable. After years of repression, and strife (both physically and mentally) endured by the gay men of old, who have had the balls to stand and say this is who we are; accept us as who we are; and give us our freedom and self-esteem, so that we may integrate into society as the men we were born to be. Tell me, why now you would have anyone freely repress themselves, their behaviours, their soul, merely for you to enjoy the secrecy of your sexual proclivities? To conform with an image of what you think a man should be? To satiate your own insecurities? Can't you see that those women jean wearing, pink boa adorned, high pitched lisping, men are representatives of the freedom that you now enjoy? Can't you see that they are the tokens of the liberation from being called sick, abnormal, and perverted to your face? Of all the freedoms of life we enjoy, I have come to realize that we will never be free of self imposed ignorances. I have also realized that no matter how common your choices, attitudes, beliefs, causes, or desires are we will never, really have solidarity, and we will never really belong to anything; even if this is our greatest desire. I say that that Camper, or Queen, has endured much, and he has fought hard to get out of that closet... please, do not ask, or wish him to go back into that closet!!!

[eastofeden]

Very Nice Post Aaycle! I am generally masculine myself but I appreciate the individuality and the struggle and unfortunately oppressed groups of people oppress each other...I have always been saddened by this and openly said so my whole life. After all...it was a bunch of queens who stood up to the police at Stonewall..hence gay pride day.

I think alot of people have been socialized and trained to beleive they need the approval of the straight population but really it is their own approval they need.

[Ultra]

My ex-partner had a real big problem with effeminate guys. He never really expressed his feelings towards them until we got into our relationship. In my opinion, I thought my ex was a bit effeminate. I love effeminate guys. My ex acted a bit girly and he was hyper a couple of years. It was still going on by 2009 and then it completely disappeared by this year.

Then I remember we got into this debate over effeminate guys. He couldn't tolerate 'em. I can definitely tolerate them, even the most effeminate guys ever. I have absolutely no problem with them. My ex believes he was immature when he was considering himself gay. I don't think so at all. I felt he was being truly genuine and honest about it.

I told him that he could a bit effeminate and I said that it turned me on. I was thinking about being a bit more effeminate. He really didn't like the idea and wondered why I would do that. As of now, I don't think I could be effeminate. Just take a look at my pictures, I'm not effeminate at all. I could be easily mistaken to be a straight man. I'm definitely not that at all.

[aaron_1991]

Hmm, I don't know, this is kinda a touchy subject with me. I guess.....in short, I don't have a problem with it, I just...would not want to date one, and that's totally fair, everyone has their types.

[Aaycle]

[B]Thank you, EastofEden, for the compliment; and I agree, with your observation, that oppressees become oppressors, (the continuous cycle of victims, victimizing). The only thing that has greatly bothered me about this thread, is that most people here seem to think their stance of intolerability, is okay. It's not, and no justification (no matter how intelligent it may be) of it, can be argued. And as for you Cutieboy, are you rubbing your masculinity in our faces? Lol...jk![/B]