any advice to get myself back to normal

[seeking]

I am sorry the following would be very messy....it reflects my mind at this moment.

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i just end a relationship with a BI guy.... at least i supposed he is a BI, but he never admitted as i didn't admit i 'm a gay either, and i think there was a relationship between us.

we never have sex, but were close...extremely close...everyone around us sense sth, they asked about it, and joked about it, but we never admitted. But i am certain we were in a relationship.

aaaaar.....i want to describe the details but it's hard to, and i don't have the mood, so i'll just skip it.

anyway we broke up....as i said we never admitted we started so none of us really saying "broke up" but our attitudes changed much. The point is, he now feels nothing to me but i am still hooked to him...and i need to face him several times a week in college. Bcoz we are in the same group of 3 subjects. (We registered the subjects together be4 broke up) And we are going to do the projects together.

I know he is now chasing a girl. But i can't get rid of him from my mind.
His face, voice, scent....the songs he likes, the place we have been to, the things we've done together ....everything of him just pop up in my mind in every single second.

I'm still ok in daytime coz i have sth to do to distract myself ( but still affects a lot, most of the time i can't focus on works). I can't withstand night time...or when i am alone. I keep thinking thinking thinking....i tried to think sth else, but soon there must be sth that link to him. I can't sleep at night, even if i can get asleep quickly, i woke up at around 4 and start thinking over and over again till sun rise.

i suffered so much. I want to free myself. But i got no one to tell...my sexuality is still a secret. i haven't told anyone....he is the only one who knows maybe.

Some other friends may know too...by guess. But i just can't say it out.

what can i do to get rid of this suffering.....can anyone share your experience...i want to stop torturing myself.

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again...sorry for the messy organisation. It must be hard for u guys to read.

And i hope u won't consider me crazy to be obssessed with a guy......i really need some advice.

[fenris]

To broke up with someone is a hard time in life. But it must not be a bad time.... learn to be yourself... who you are, what you want. Do what you want to pleasure yourself.... like I wrote yesterday to somebody... go out... meet friends, family, nature, cinema, read a book ... start new Hobbys and you will see that a time as single can show you so much about yourself, your wishes your dreams. Try to find new friends.....
If you start to think about your Ex ( say to yourself that he is your Ex ) do immediately some other things ..reading, watching TV.... say to yourself that HE is not worth to be with you. It seems that you are are nice guy with some great Qualities ... so be YOURself. Be the guy you want to be and you can be .... and after a while ...search for a bf who really needs and love you. And I´m sure... you will get one bf... and a much better then your Ex

[The Virgin]

go find yourself another man. i'm sure you're gonna find one.

[jamiebfd]

keep yourself busy...
try dating some other men.
you will find someone else you like and take your mind away from the other boy.

its difficult when you want someone but cant have them.
but in the end something will work out for you

good luck

[seeking]

i know it might be good for me to think that he is not worth being with me....but i can't lie to myself on this one....as it is way too different from reality...haha.

He is a great man in any dimension. If u really need to pick flaw is that he is a bit short. But i don't care his height---his personality, hobbies, look...everything is appealing. Many girls want to approach him in the college.

to be frank i wondered many times why would he had chosen me....he is too good for me. maybe that's Y he now finds another one....ha

i know date another man is a way, but it's hard to find one who is gay/bi in short period of time.
Gay club? Seems most people there just want sex but not relationship...or am i having prejudice against it

thanks for the advice though...!!

[fenris]

i know it might be good for me to think that he is not worth being with me....but i can't lie to myself on this one....as it is way too different from reality...haha.

He is a great man in any dimension. If u really need to pick flaw is that he is a bit short. But i don't care his height---his personality, hobbies, look...everything is appealing. Many girls want to approach him in the college.

to be frank i wondered many times why would he had chosen me....he is too good for me. maybe that's Y he now finds another one....ha

i know date another man is a way, but it's hard to find one who is gay/bi in short period of time.
Gay club? Seems most people there just want sex but not relationship...or am i having prejudice against it

thanks for the advice though...!!

He can´t be so great ... if he switched so fast between you and the girl ....

I think you have more to love yourself .... why somebody should not choose you ? But why you will wait till somebody choose you .... why YOU don´t choose your bf ?

But to be honest I think you should wait with another bf ..till you are over your Ex. Its not fair against the "new" boyfriend .. if you are not really free for him and you maybe wait that the other guy comes back ....

[seeking]

no....he didn't switched fast actually.

Long story. i know that girl feel good to him few months ago, and he also kind of like her.
He knew i don't like it, so he repelled her at that moment.
But then i made mistakes....terrible mistakes...that's Y i end up like this.

yes...ur right. i better not doing that just for cleaning my mind.
there aren't many gay/bi people in my community anyway...i will wait till the time is right

[fenris]

I see .... you still love him ... you defends him so much.

But It will be better .. not every day ... but every week. Do as much as you can to do other things then thinking on him ...that helps a lot.

[borrein]

Try surrounding yourself with hags, they always know what to do.

[The Virgin]

there are a lot of dating sites out there... you can try look for someone...