Confused x 2

[dlboy53]

Ok get ready to laugh but can someone explain to me what spooning is I honestly have never heard that term.

[simon]

Ok get ready to laugh but can someone explain to me what spooning is I honestly have never heard that term.

your partner is laying on his side and you cuddle him from the back.

[Glaedr]

Yeah its just cuddling. Can be a game to see who gets uncomfortable first. Also, you got your Big Spoon and your Little Spoon if its two men (you can probably figure those out).

[confusedx]

Man I read this and seriously... your situation is so similar to mine barring several details, that it's almost surreal. Well except that I'd be the friend in your case. I'm going to write up a post on my situation soon.

Just wanted to wish you luck; sorry I can't give any helpful advice.

[Mike]

Well, I believe we've all been there before - as gays in a majority of straight guys, we are bound to fall in love with a "dude" :-)

I think you should take it in tiny-baby steps:

1. Find out what he thinks about gay people - talk to him about current affairs, about something you've heard on the news, or on the net (which relates to gays) and see what he has to say about it.
If you have some macho characteristics in your relationship, you may want to add your favorable opinion about it, so that he wouldn't try to make a macho reaction.

2. If he supports gays, try to tell him about something you've recently heard, or something that has (supposedly) happened to you recently - someone who was trying to come on to you, and see what he has to say.

You can take it from there - each time he gives you positive reaction, try to take it to the next step, but don't do it all in the same day, take a month or two and gradually see how it goes.

[Mike]

when we spooned the other night, he wsnt embarassed to tell my brother about it which also confuses me (he's very close to my brother too as am i). its either a case of he is ok with it because we are mates as we have nothing to hide or something else?

i cant seem to make sense of it..

You ACTUALLY spooned? He ACTUALLY told your brother you had "spooned"? (did he actually use that word?)

If you actually did it, and he actually said it, I'd say he's definitely gay, or at least bi!

[joshmcc]

well yeah he pretty much said that we ended up staying in the bed. but then again i think to myself if u had something to hide then u would hide it, he didnt need to tell him that he stayed in my bed but he did. it was almost as if it was a jokey thing to do. he had no real reason to tell him.

i have also tried hinting along the lines of being bi etc. i have spoke to him about social situations where i have had men come on to me and such, and he is a bit shocked and makes out that 'its not right' etc. to be perfectly honest the more i read this to myself the more confused i become, and i thank you guys for trying to help me out. i dont think im really in the situation to be the one to be totally honest about my feelings or preference, i feel as though if he ever were to tell me he had feelings for me, i would quite happily tell people my situation, but if i told him how i felt, im not sure he'd be happy to do the same. its almost as if its like a pride thing, he has been with his girlfriend for 7 years, and shes with somebody else now and he doesnt want to be left behind and wants to compete.

i sometimes refrain from being a typical male a night out in town and avoid complimenting the way she looks to avoid added confusion in case he was going to tell me something, but he never seems to, he always tells me what he wants from a girl etc. which is why i think im barking up the wrong tree..

[DarkDaisuke]

Really depends on how he identifies. If he says hes straight then probably low chance BUT you can try to tell him how you feel and see where it goes. If that doesn't work out, then you still have a great friend.

[LcKy83]

This may not be helpful, but I agree lots of us may have been in similar situations. I have two quick anecdotes to help further your confusion :-)

1) When I was much younger, my best friend and I started having more and more sleep overs and we eventually got to the point of sleeping in the same bed, getting hard-ons, and eventually playing with each other. This happened over the course of a few months, and whenever he got what I would call out of his comfort zone, he would roll over and pretend to go to sleep. Now that I'm older, I know what he was doing, because we became really close friends after a long hiatus and he's gay now and partnered. He was unsure of his sexuality and was exploring it with me--he happened to turn out gay.

But, here's the confusing one, 2) My brother had a friend that they would stay in the same bedroom, and occasionally share the same bed. His friend would quite frequently moon him, show him his wood in the morning to make my brother 'grossed out', trick him into touching it by accident, chase him with his boxers down--and he's still straight, kids, married, the works (and yes, I realize that doesn't necessarily mean anything). But I truly feel that his friend is straight, but was comfortable enough to play around like that. Now, I know it's a little different in your case because my brother wasn't volunteering his hand down his shorts, but you get my point.

On one hand, he could be trying to explore his sexuality and hint to you what you're hinting to him to hint about hinting, and so on and so forth. But on the other hand, he could be just comfortable with you and probing into this may create an awkward relationship that will haunt you if not handled delicately.

Sorry if this is causing more confusion than helping, but moral of the story, just proceed with care out of respect for the friendship :-)

[Patrick]

In such situations I usually listen to my heart... don't think about what might happen and what might not happen, just do what your heart says