scot285 Wrote:Can someone please explain top virginity and bottom virginity?? Does top mean sucking a guy off and bottom mean anal sex?? - Sorta confused there!!
Im glad to say im still a virgin, i gave guy a blowjob before, but i dont consider this as loosing my virginity??
I'd say that in our culture (I don't mean
gay culture but
western judeo/christian culture) the notion of virginity is very much linked with the status of a woman: Whether she has had penetrative sex and whether she has been likely to become pregnant. A girl's hymen would be likely to be broken as a result of having had that first experience with a man...(but today the breaking of the hymen often occurs from using tampons, so it may not be indicative). The seal of virginity, once celebrated in newly weds by observing a stain of blood on the bed sheets is still something that fascinates and deserves "congratulations" or celebration, but why? Which group or groups still observe this ritual and why do they find it important? Why would a woman be considered a whore or a slut if she no longer has that virginity or proof thereof?
Anyway, that's another debate, and maybe one that doesn't really interest gay men. I'd say, however that the loss of a woman's virginity corresponding to penetrative sex matches the idea of bottoming for a gay man in that he is the one who will
be penetrated. Similarly, anal penetration can be (a little or very) painful (or not) on your virgin trial. There needn't (and probably shouldn't) be any blood spilt during this but I suppose, similarly to a woman losing her virginity, it might happen. It all depends on how gently this episode is handled, and prepared.
As I said before, I think we are all virgins to all sorts of experiences. There are some for which I'd rather stay a virgin all my life, thank you, and some, presumably that I'd like to learn more about, and live from the inside (first hand), not second hand (vicariously). Therefore, I think I'll forego the
snails, the
frogs and
torture, thanks.
Because we still live in a world that is rather macho, some cultures consider it
bad to be the bottom (the penetrated) in a gay relationship but
not bad /
ok to be the top (the penetrator). But given that any sex partnership, be it straight or gay, is about
abandoning part of oneself to another for the fusion (the creation of a new being in cases of mating female and male) (or something maybe or a different spiritual nature in the case of same sex), it's more about
giving oneself than about
taking, is it not?
It's baffling to hear that a man is going to "
take" someone (male or female) if they are being the penetrator, when, technically, it's more
the opposite; The 'passive partner' is
taking inside their bodies what the other is going to
give (his penis, maybe his semen), not the other way round.
Again, the Chinese may have that notion well drawn out with the Yin and the Yang (both ends meet and melt into the other sign /aspect). At all events, there is something slightly hermaphroditic about a gay sex relationship, especially one in which the partners describe themselves or are described as versatile, topping and bottoming in turn, or performing oral sex to each other simultaneously (69-ing).
Your thoughts, peeps?
.
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