Im a straight woman and i think my bf is gay

[jbrowder24]

Hey Ash, sorry if I sounded harsh on the keylogger stuff but if he already knows about that, then I think the best option is indeed to talk with him. I'm not sure if he doesn't understand what all a keylogger can catch or if he somehow wanted you to find out, but it should be easier to bring up how you know what you know then. I do advice to bring it up gently. Don't confront him with anger, but ease him into a conversation. Of course staying calm may be difficult if he responds with anger because he's not ready to deal with what may be confusing feelings to him, but try to stay on the supportive side at first in hopes that he'll feel comfortable enough to confide what exactly is going on (just a j/o fetish? not sure who he's attracted to more? etc.) Decide how you guys want to define your relationship. Open? Closed but chat allowed? Closed relationship including no chat from now on? Etc. And then if he's still not being honest or responds poorly, go with your gut. It might be hard because you do love him, but you also have to be fair to yourself and know that you deserve someone who'll be honest with you.

[posterpicture]

Buy him a regular lube to cut off your expense is the first thing I would do.
Lol, bisexual does exist, believe or not.
You already knew he watched straight porn and did straight porn cam and was ok with it. Why don't you just put up with the gay one also.

[marshlander]

Sadly, too many of us find ourselves in a similar situation. I was brought up in a religious environment which contributed to me believing that being gay was not only wrong, but a choice. In my mind gay people were the "others" and not me. I shan't embarrass myself further by trying to describe the mental gymnastics I performed justifying my encounters with other men even though I was married to a woman and had children. Suffice to say I am not proud of what I did in those days. I didn't have the vocabulary to deal with the fact that I liked men and besides which I always expected it was a phase we all go through and it was only a matter of time before I grew out of it. I looked forward to being free of a curse I felt under, except that freedom never came, although I did eventually find the words, the strength and am confident and comfortable identifying myself as a gay man, am in a solid relationship with a wonderful man and am on good terms with my children and even reasonable terms with my ex-wife.

I am sure you have very real concerns for the future you and your daughter are anticipating. You are programmed to consider her well-being above everything else, so I would imagine that the possibility of having the kind of objective, grown-up conversation we might ideally wish for is fraught with difficulty and conflict for you. However, if you are going to salvage something out of this situation with your boyfriend you both have to be able to manoeuvre within a conversational space where neither of you feels threatened. This going to take a gargantuan amount of self-control on your part, because any hint of a conflict is likely to have him scurrying for the emotional hills in no time flat. An alternative strategy might be to ignore all this and try to act like nothing's wrong. Tempting, perhaps, but in the longer term it will prove difficult as it becomes harder for you both to keep ignoring those increasing cracks in the walls of your relationship. Possible outcomes have already been suggested above, but it is what you do now that is going to make it possible for you to reach a position where you can salvage something out of this for the good of you all.

Best wishes for the strength and courage you and your boyfriend are going to need to be able to work this out together ... somehow.