Need a guide to letting other people in?

[Luke14009]

Ok so the last time i broke up with a guy, my confidence went to an all time low and that was 5 months ago! And now i dont how to let another guy get close to me. Iv tried concentrating on work and friends, tried sleeping around but it jus hasnt worked and only made me feel worse like right now i dont give a **** about another boyfriend but I really wished i would but i just cant get that feeling back again any advice?

[seeking]

do u mean u are still stuck in the feelings with your ex?
and You now don't have any desire to have another boyfriend. But you wish you could have this desire?

If that's the case...try to pick flaws from your ex, and expands them. Focus the bads of your ex and don't defend for him....soon you will lost feelings to him.

hope i didn't get you wrong.

[simon]

I'm a bit the other way (no not str8,as if) give too much then leave myself open for getting hurt,maybe the answer is to be yourself and if someone shits on you,see it as their problem and not yours,you can either hold back and feel you got it wrong again the next time someone lets you down and so be more closed off or just be you and know that the more frogs you kiss the closer the prince is getting.

[jbrowder24]

Luke, I was like you and this is going to sound bad but after that guy, I honestly felt like I'd never love again - until I met someone new I connected with. Now I'm not saying you'll feel that way only until you connect with someone new because here's the thing: that didn't work out either. But since then, I have realized that as much as it sucks to love and lose, you can love again. Sometimes it just takes time. It might help to find something that makes you feel good as a distraction, and I don't mean something that feels good at the time but perhaps lousy after like the sleeping around you mentioned, but something you can get passionate about. Decide to run a marathon or enter a writing contest or something like that where you have a goal to work towards. And as you heal, you'll find it easier to be more confident and let others in as the time is right.

[DivineDestiny]

I suggest you start hanging out with more guys that could be your style. I think overtime if you just hang out with people you will be able to slowly get over your ex. But it can't just be any people, it has to be people who can put up with any bs that you may throw at them if you start to think about your ex .

[princealbertofb]

Hey Luke, it may help to make a list of things... a list of all the qualities you liked in your previous partner, and a list of all the things that didn't click. By knowing what you like and dislike, it does make you a better chooser in the future. I'd say you'll be more ready to oversee certain failures and less able to accept others. The better you know yourself, the easier it can be to find a suitable partner.

Remember that ideal men don't really exist, but there are some around that seem to fit the bill pretty much. Also remember that it is a job to keep a partnership working and that the moment you start taking things for granted, or the moment your partner starts taking things for granted, it's time to move on, or to reassert where you both stand. I think it's the only way to keep one's self esteem (a much necessary thing) and to be able to adapt to someone else's personality.

As for love, it really is the icing on the cake, if you find it or it finds you. Good luck in your new endeavours.