Can it work?????

[yeahokay]

Hi everyone, anyone.

First entry.

I was searching through google and found this site, hopefully there are some experienced and/or friendly people who may be able to offer advice or just chat.

Okay, so I'm a 22 year old uni student. Ive been aware of my 'gayness', lol, since about the age of 16 or so, but have only had 'relationships' or experiences with a very limited number of guys. Im the tall, muscled/stocky, blokey manly type and find it really difficult meeting friendly guys. I guess I don't feel or have the mentality of a typical 'gay' man. When out I dont go to gay bars and have never been to one. Im not out. I dont know any gay guys that I talk to regularly anyways. I feel like a hetero man who is attracted to other men.
Searching on-line dating sites seems to be the only option for meeting guys as I dont come across as gay, at all..... The only problem is that all the 'dating' sites seem to revolve around hook-ups and one night stands. I'm looking for something more 'hetero', non sluty hetero anyways, lol, as in a real relationship with connection, feeling......love?<well thats gay, lol.

Are there any masculine men like myself who feel the same way, and have had experiences or had situations similar to what i find myself in....? or is it all about sex with gay men?

Thanks/
M

[Bumpy]

Well my experience has been somewhat the same. Alot of guys are only into the hookup thing it seems and they are not interested in getting to know you as a person but they only look at outer appearance. I'm not a bad looking guy so it's not like I'm trying to cover for myself. However I do know there is alot of guys who are definately not just looking for sex and I found that out over time. Like you (and me) alot of guys also don't do the "what is deemed to be gay things" but it depends where you look. I've met alot of great guys online and dated some and some are good friends of mine.

This is just my opinion and experience, others my differ from what I said. Hope it helps! ;-)

[fredv3b]

Are there any masculine men like myself who feel the same way,

Yes. The only gay thing about me is I have a boyfriend (soon to be husband )

or is it all about sex with gay men?

It's certainly not all about sex with all gay men.

When I was Internet dating I found that many of the mainstream non-gay dating marketed at straight people allowed me to enter I was a man looking for a man. I also found that such sites seemed to have the best selection of guys looking for more than just sex. Things may have changed since then or be different in your part of the world but I would advise checking out mainstream non-gay dating websites.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Oh, it's awesome to be gay and it's certainly better than being straight. :p lol :]

Maybe you should change something about yourself/your appearance/your attiude? I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong right now, I'm just suggeting that you go a little out of your ways. Why not go to a gay bar? Why not come out to a friend? Something. :]
Also, of course not all guys out there are looking just for sex. I mean, most guys are looking for sex, but not only...You could always get to know someone off those dating websites, or at least try. Someone who seems decent and all. It's...up to you. You just have to look for it. :]]

There are some Australian guys on here, and they are all pretty awesome. Just saying. :]]
Hope to hear more from you.

[zeon]

Hello M,
Welcome to the site first off... When i came out to my family I was 18 and had the manly attitude for example im me first and gay second... I dont do campness in general but do messing around... I know when i was younger alot of gay guys beleived I was heotrosexual so i wore a rainbow band when i went out into town and yes it was to a gay bar... Maybe it might be an idea to head to one for experience... Hetrosexual men do drink in gay bars as well... Dont worry what people might think and if they got a problem that might be your key to opening up as well and letting them deal with their own issues.... I have beleived since coming out that life is short and needs not to be wasted anymore than what it has already been... This is because i wish i came out earlier like fourteen or so

Kindest regards

zeon x

[marcopolo1085]

This is odd reading this post only because I was going to ask pretty much the same question. I am looking for exactly the same thing. I just came out as bi to my best friend who had no idea till I started hinting at it a couple weeks ago. I act very straight while infact I'm bi leaning more in the gay side. I'll will tell you what though, coming out to my friend made me feel so much better around him that I'm trying to figure out how to come out to pretty much everyone else. Everyone on this site is right it does feel liberating! I'm not into guys that are fem acting, no offense anyone... But I hope you find that special someone. I'd like the same. Hope this helps. I'm on the same page as you are. I wish I could find more friends that are comfortable around gay men and hopefully I find some gay men that I can be friends with that are into the so called "normal" guy stuff....

[East]

I am masculine but I cherish, appreciate and celebrate diversity and I would be very careful about dismissing gay men as "typical" of anything. We are all individuals.

[jbrowder24]

Some dating sites are better than othes, and I'd be honest in your profiles about what you're looking for, you might be surprised at who writes you It definitely is harder though to not be obvious and just 'meet' people unless you meet through friends or something, and your chances of finding a relationship vs a hook up won't be any better at a gay bar (though you could meet someone there too, you just never know). It's definitely not all about sex for some though... although some people I've found go through a "stage" before they get ready to settle down. I for better or for worse was not one of those but I've encountered quite a few... Perhaps just focus on finding friends and see what develops.

[Drew]

I tend to lean somewhat more masculine (however that's defined), but there are so many different types of guys out there, straight and gay, who have different personalities and are into different things. For every gay man into Lady Gaga and showtunes, there are just as many into sports or alternative/hard rock or whatever. You just have to find them.

And over time, you might find yourself opening up to slightly campier tastes. I know I have. I still love Nirvana and Metallica, but I also dig dancey stuff like Gaga and Cascada. I enjoy watching basketball but I have tons of fun at bars hosting drag revues too. I like my mix of taste....it gives me a little bit of variety, I think. Be open to it, you'll be surprised!

I'm a little surprised you aren't able to find a more conventional dating site, however.....I don't know about the Downunder, where you're from, but here in the U.S. you can try Match or Okcupid. Plenty of guys looking for more than sex on those. (I personally haven't had much luck on them myself, but that's a whole other topic of discussion....there are plenty of people who have had great success on those sites, so it's worth a shot!)

[princealbertofb]

Yes I think the friends route is a good one to develop first. Just see who you are comfortable chatting with, who you enjoy the company of online, and also, at some point, the relationship has to be feasible in real life, so it's all very well to be friends with people who are far away, but closer ones are the ones you're likely to be able to meet some day. You are out in Australia, and it's a huge continent, so whereabouts are you? If you are close to Sydney or Melbourne, or one of the big cities, it'll be easier to find other people who are interested in a relationship, otherwise, it might be more difficult. Are you mobile, are you ready to move if necessary?