Long distance relationship

[MItoUT]

I met this guy online and we started talking and now we're considering being in a relationship together. We're perfect for each other. He's so sweet and cute and caring and we have so much in common it's insane. He says all the time that we're soul mates and we were made for each other and I feel the same way. I've never felt an attraction to another guy like this before. The only bad thing is I live in Michigan and he lives in Utah.

He makes me incredibly happy and we talk on the phone and skype everyday. But not being able to be with him kills me. One minute we'll be talking and I'll be on cloud 9 and the next this crushing sadness hits me. My whole body just aches when I think about how I can't be with him. I'm going to go stay with him for a few weeks this summer and he's going to come here for a while but I want to be with him all the time. I want to be there for him when he's sad and needs me. We can't fall asleep next to each other and it kills me every night when we talk on the phone.

I think I can handle a long distance relationship and he says he can too. How do I deal with missing him though? There's only so much a phone call or video chat can do. I love him so much.

[flyboy]

I had to go through the same thing a few months ago although you have it better than me. My bf at the time was against ol dating and broke it off with me when my emotions were at its peak. We still talk though we already moved our separate ways.

When we were together, i absolutely could not stop thinking about him and it hurt both physically and mentally just to think of how far we were from each other. During times when i absolutely could not talk to him, i stayed with my friends. They didn't know i was with someone cause i am closeted but staying with them distracted me a bit. I also exercised to keep my mind busy though majority of my day was still spent thinking of him. i guess there really isnt much you can do but make the most of the time you have together. Its great that both of you are trying to get past the distance. Effort from both sides of the relationship is crucial to it working. good luck

[Bumpy]

Hey man, I can certainly relate. In my case though, I've taken it to the max. I live it Cape Town South Africa and met this guy online who lives in Washington DC USA. I did not know that I would fall for him so much and he was crazy about me too. It was difficult for both of us too since we couldn't be with each other and i was also on cloud 9 the one min and totally down the next. For us to be together it was certainly not going to be a 3 hour trip. He eventually after a 4 months came to visit me and it was great! I was willing to relocate for him but I wanted to be sure first. Uprooting ones whole life like that is not an easy decision.

To cut a long story short, long distance relationships can work and I know a few people for whom it turned out for the best. If your willing to be patient and faithfull I'm sure things will work out for both of you.

Keeping contact everyday helps.

[Dreamer]

I've been in a long distance relationship for about two years now, and we are still yet to meet! So, trust me, I know exactly how you feel, and it does get better, if you're strong enough! Not all people are!

It can be UNBEARABLE at times, and EXTREMELY frustrating! But, if you're serious about continuing this relationship with him, you need to remind yourself that this feeling is only temporary, and that it's only natural to feel this way!

Find other ways to spice up you're relationship!

Have cyber/phone sex more often! That will help relieve the sexual tension!

If you haven't already, start exchanging actual letters, and gifts to each other!

Although, it's not as fast or convenient as using skype or the phone, it makes all of the difference to receive hand written letters and gifts in the mail from your boyfriend!

It makes things feel that much more real to have something that you can physically hold in your hands ( e.g. a teddy bear) which came from the person you love!

Although, that empty feeling you get right after a phone or skype call can't really be 100% eliminated, it helps to hold that "teddy bear" he sent you or to read the letters he sent you, afterward!

I'm told that finally meeting the person you've longed to meet in a long distance relationship makes a HUGE difference! Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst!

Remember, that although you know him over the phone or on skype, you may discover things that you don't like about him, once you meet him in person! So, the day that you do meet him, DO NOT place high expectations on how things will unravel! You may be highly disappointed! Better yet, don't hold any expectations at all, right before you meet him! Give yourself some space to embrace everything at a neutral level.

Patience is a virtue, and good things are worth waiting for! It's up to you to decide if you want to endure the emotional and mental strains of being in a long-term relationship!


Good luck!

[marshlander]

Before we had instant communication through the internet, we wrote letters, specially if using the telephone or visiting in person were prohibitively expensive. Both travel and communications have come down a lot in price over the years. In the "old" days I can't remember people describing themselves as being "in a relationship" unless they had actually met the other person. Nowadays I seem to be hearing more often of people who claim to be in a relationship without having met.

While everyone ought to be able to define for themselves how they perceive their own relationship status I don't know what kind of relationship is possible before people have met. We operate at a very animal level and the reality of being with someone is very different from what we might have imagined beforehand - specially if it turns out we don't like the way they smell or the way they eat oranges! I guess what I'm saying is that until we've met we can only really be in love with the way we have constructed the other person in our imaginations.

PA and I were keyboard friends for months before we spoke on the telephone for the first time. We knew a lot about each other before we actually met. When we met I was certainly not anticipating getting into a relationship. I'd just got out of one that had gone on for about 25 years too long and I had no intention of getting into another. I think PA was a little more hopeful.

PA and I have been together exclusively now for over eight years although we are only physically in the same country for about four or five months out of the year. I guess ours is a long-distance relationship that could be said to be working. LDRs can be stressful. Being separated is often difficult and parting never gets easier. On the plus side we enjoyed what for me felt like a six-year honeymoon. On the minus side I often feel like I'm in the wrong country. The way we make it work is that we are in touch pretty much every day and for the past seven years I have always known when I am going to see him again before we part.

I imagine that our advanced ages play a part in our ability to cope with the stress of regular separation. I don't know how well I would have managed had I been younger, but other people manage if their spouses/partners are in the armed forces, or are otherwise employed away from home. Other people in relationships involving regular separation though often enjoy the advantage of a support network whether that is through the formal wheels of the firm or something more informal through the left behind partners getting together. People in LDRs are by nature left to their own devices. This is going to be problematic for some. It is no good getting into a long-distance relationship if one is of a jealous or demanding disposition. You cannot require fidelity from a partner. However, fidelity is YOUR gift to give the one you love.

[RainbowFlwrPowr]

I met this guy online and we started talking and now we're considering being in a relationship together. We're perfect for each other. He's so sweet and cute and caring and we have so much in common it's insane. He says all the time that we're soul mates and we were made for each other and I feel the same way. I've never felt an attraction to another guy like this before. The only bad thing is I live in Michigan and he lives in Utah.

He makes me incredibly happy and we talk on the phone and skype everyday. But not being able to be with him kills me. One minute we'll be talking and I'll be on cloud 9 and the next this crushing sadness hits me. My whole body just aches when I think about how I can't be with him. I'm going to go stay with him for a few weeks this summer and he's going to come here for a while but I want to be with him all the time. I want to be there for him when he's sad and needs me. We can't fall asleep next to each other and it kills me every night when we talk on the phone.

I think I can handle a long distance relationship and he says he can too. How do I deal with missing him though? There's only so much a phone call or video chat can do. I love him so much.

I do long distance relationships and so does my dad. Somehow when you do it online you build up excitement for when you finally see them. It makes the first date all that more exciting

[zeon]

Hello,
I had a long distance relationship with a guy in scotland and eventually i gave up my life in brighton and moved up to be with him.... Only to catch him one day SHAGGING my MATE.... I was then made to sleep in the spare bed whilst they shared OUR bed... So i had a nervous breakdown cut meself to pieces and moved home in the end after being kicked out one january evening...

Kindest regards

zeon x

[Dreamer]

Hello,
I had a long distance relationship with a guy in scotland and eventually i gave up my life in brighton and moved up to be with him.... Only to catch him one day SHAGGING my MATE.... I was then made to sleep in the spare bed whilst they shared OUR bed... So i had a nervous breakdown cut meself to pieces and moved home in the end after being kicked out one january evening...

Kindest regards

zeon x

I'm sorry you went through that...But that's why I caution people to not put everything they have in a relationship(Especially a LDR!), until they know for certain that their other half will be sure to submit equal efforts towards making the relationship work. If it's a one way street, drop him!

You should NEVER make such drastic measures to devote your life to someone, you've never met in person, or have only met a few times, and haven't been communicating with them for longer than a year on a daily basis. If you don't know them well enough, to the point that you know their likes and dislikes, their life story, etc... I do not advice anyone to halt the majority of their lives to a stranger. Get to know someone inside and out first, before you make ill-decisions like that. That's common sense(for me at least).

If you don't have the wits or the patience to sustain in a LDR, Don't do it!

It's not for everyone, and for the most part, they don't work out! I guess I've just been lucky, so far.