[COLOR="Navy"]Hmm...I would have to place it to about 4th grade. I was 9 years old and we had to have our annual scoliosis screening. All the boys had to go into the nurses office and take off our shirts and bend over so the nurse could check our spines. The whole time I was staring at the chests of the athletic boys and realized I wanted to see more. Also in 4th grade I had my first real crush, this boy Kyle Jean. He was so perfect and nice...now he is kind of a pothead, and likes to drink way too much, so sad.
So yeah I realized at 9 that I liked boys, but didn't come out till I was 17.[/COLOR]
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I realized I was attracted to boys at the age of 11. I was in 6th grade and it simply was that me and a friend horsed around after gym class. As the years went by my attraction to guys grew stronger and couldn't help but want to see more of guys. It was scary at first because I was taught that it was evil too look at guys that way but eventually learned it was me.
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In 16, love come to me secretly. That boy, I love.
Unfortunately or luckily, he did not notice this.
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When I look way back. I remember making out with another boy when I was only 8 years old. A friend of mine, and we would of course say "This was only practice for the girls" Makes me laugh just thinking about it. So we would kiss one another, tongue and all. Sloppy stuff being so young.
I never really thought about it afterwords, though. I didn't start noticing my attraction to guys until I was 15. After football (American) practice and in the locker room, a friends' towel dropped across the room and I raped his tantalizing body with my eyes!
I could feel the weird coming on so I left shortly afterwords.
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I realized that i had been attracted to guys when i was like 5 or 6 years old ! In the beginning, i thought it was a sickness or somethings. Now, i think different and still sick of it! I don't know why. i just wanna be a normal boy who likes girls but i can't change my "original" sexuality. So sad!
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QA,
Its perfectly normal to not want to be part of a minority, actually you say you are Asian (in your introductions post), so its even more normal not to want to be part of a double minority. However, I have got news for you being a boy who likes boys, isn't an illness, it is normal (at least as far as I am concerned) and it isn't going to change.
During my teenage years one person engaged in a systematic campaign to make me feel worthless because of my sexuality. That person was me! Don't crucify yourself, it really isn't worth it. Josh is right there is plenty in life to be happy about. I know it may seem impossible for you know but in time I came to accept my sexuality and now I am so glad to be gay.
Fred
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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