Need help figuring out my situation

[Rutstuck]

I'm not too sure what to think about my sexual orientation so I'm gonna share some of my thoughts and maybe someone can help me figure things out... Im 23 and I've had only one serious relationship with a women it wasn't a mature one but I had strong feelings for her. I think they died out though because I ended up cheating on her manytimes with women though. I started to look at gay porn and it turned me on so I was questioning my sexual orientation and my gf had to reassure me that she certainly didn't think I was gay but bi .We ended up breaking up because in the end we both just wanted to be single and grew apart. I still continued to watch gay porn which led to me meeting up with men and having sex. I've become aware now that only gay porn turns me on and having thoughts of sex with men. *I can still masterbate to straight porn but it doesnt give me as hard as an erection as gay porn does. * * But when it comes to sex I've had amazing sex with women and the one time I had sex with a man it was also fun and exciting one weird thing is that when I left I wasn't sure if I was suppose to hug the guy which was weird that I even had this thought... The main thing I liked though is he was very feminiem and small and just very girly and that turned me on. I've also noticed when a really attractive girl shows interest in me I get very excited and get this feeling of confidence because I would of never thought a girl that pretty would ever take the time of day to notice me but if a man takes interest I could care less I mean it's cool and reassures me I'm not an ugly guy but I don't care to impress a man as far as the way I dress or my looks. And when it comes to relationships I can't see myself with a man because I've never wanted that and being with a women is naturally what I want. Also when it comes to women i would rather have their approval over other people especially if i think they are attractive or if i like them.Now there is a few thoughts I have that make me feel weird and I'm not sure if I should ignore them. I have a child hood friend who is straight and has a girlfriend but i assume he might secretly like me and there's just been a few situations that made me think he does so now the thought pops up in my head alot but I usually just forget about because it's something that I don't want to happen Now I dont feel the same way but there was one night I was drunk and saw a movie where these two friends kiss and I imagined it being me and him which didn't make sense because this guy is like a brother to me so i dont understand it weve been through alot of fights too i do know that were like family.And he is also someone that i want approval from he is my only real friend so I guess I don't want to lose that bond .I've also had issues with feeling insecure that people automatically think I'm gay because I think I might come off that way sometimes maybe because my voice might sound girly and I just get the impression my friends think I'm gay and when I think about alot of the homosexual experiences Ive been through i wonder what if I am? But when I do say I am I go back to the thoughts of wanting to find a good girl that likes me for me that's something I want and then also what about the sex I've had with women? Theres been plenty of times that ive been conviced im bisexul i say this because i know i can have sex with men but not have romantic relationships with them but i honestly will admit i dont think it would be fair if i was fully gay because I Want a women in my life and I just feel like it would be depressing if I am fully gay and I just don't realize it. And so if I am then I would have to adjust to liking men romanticlly and I just want it to be purely A SEX THING That's really all the issues that I deal with when it comes down to it and if there is other issues that are more complex maybe you can help me understand this more. I'm just looking for someone to help me understand maybe there is something I don't see that you see from what I've wrote. Thanks