sex advice

[Inchante]

I have problems......when I'm with a partner, sometimes, getting off (TMI?), so my best orgasms, anyways, are usually of solitary nature. I have a Fleshlight but only occasionally use it.....they're not tight enough for me. They're nice if I like a different sensation.

A dildo, well....that's a whole other story. Depends if you get off thinking of yourself as a bottom and being submissive. Try fingers first; if you like that sensation thread lightly with the dildo. Stimulation of the prostrate has been know to cause male orgasm/ejaculation, but everyone is different (it can be hot for me, but I've never gotten off on it alone, on the occasions I do do that).

I used to have issues with this. I found that I was being too self conscious, constantly thinking in abstract terms of what I was doing, what the other person wanted, really just having a hard time being comfortable and "in the moment". Relaxing and letting go of that "meta state", for a lack of a better term, certainly helped me in my sex life. It was a relief, as at that time, I thought I had something wrong with me.

[Braz]

Ive never been into sex toys, but you hear alot of people say its good and bad and i think sex toys may just not be your thing and could be the case the real thing would get you off way better and enjoy sharing that moment with the person your with at the time. mile:

[Drew]

I used to have issues with this. I found that I was being too self conscious, constantly thinking in abstract terms of what I was doing, what the other person wanted, really just having a hard time being comfortable and "in the moment". Relaxing and letting go of that "meta state", for a lack of a better term, certainly helped me in my sex life. It was a relief, as at that time, I thought I had something wrong with me.

Hmm, I'm not usually nervous or anything. I think it's more "oh hey this isn't a regular thing for me, so cool!" kind of feeling. One of the reasons I want a regular boyfriend/partner is so that I can get more accustomed to the sensation. I've had decent sex up to this point, but would love to experience the mind-blowingly awesome sex everyone keeps talking about someday!

[marshlander]

Toys are okay, but as with sex with someone else they may require a little practice to get used to the sensations. Sometimes even locating where the feelings are coming from takes a little concentration. Just because the manufacturer's advertising failed to fruit in real life it doesn't define your preference to top, bottom or swing from the nearest chandelier.

When you have the opportunity to engage in sex with a partner you will negotiate your way through a whole recipe book of possibilities. The experience with every partner will be different and usually every encounter with the same partner will yield different responses too. You will find it useful to remember the acts that provide more consistent response in case something doesn't work as well. It's good to have a fall-back position

In answer to your unworded question, there's nothing wrong with you.

[BobInTampa]

I bought a fleshlight too and while it felt good, it was just way too akward trying to hold it and jack with it (got slippery with the lube)....so, i went back to my latex j/o sleeve. It's better, in my opinion, because i can squeeze it and get more friction than with the fleshlight.

Regarding anal toys, forgive me for being blunt, but it takes practice to really get to enjoy using toys. The key to anal play is being able to finger yourself before you begin insertion.....then go slow during the initial penetration (use LOTS OF LUBE). YOu have to find the prostate to really get the best feeling, and that takes some time and practice. I would also recommend you buy 2 or 3 different sizes (start with a thinner one).

Just my 2 cents!

[SleepTalker]

Yeah it depends on the person. Some people really enjoy flesh lights and dildos where as other people dont really feel much. Ive never had either one of those so i cant really state an opinion about the sensation....but my hand feels good lol.

[LateBloomer]

I forgot to mention one more thing in my response on the difference between masturbation and sex with another person.

There is a theory...
(so take this with a grain of salt)

...that when another person makes physical contact with you there is an exchange of "energy" (electricity?) that is pleasing not only on a physical level but also a "psychic" level.

We've all experienced a shock from static electricity when someone touched us, so I think the theory has merit. But this "charge" would be something other than the excessive electricity built up while dragging your feet across a carpeted floor.

So my point is...
This is one reason that may explain why fucking a fleshlight, or being penetrated by a dildo, or EVEN using your OWN hand is not the same as physical contact from another person--because you're missing the "exchange" of mutual energy.

Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

I forgot to mention one more thing in my response on the difference between masturbation and sex with another person.

There is a theory...
(so take this with a grain of salt)

...that when another person makes physical contact with you there is an exchange of "energy" (electricity?) that is pleasing not only on a physical level but also a "psychic" level.

We've all experienced a shock from static electricity when someone touched us, so I think the theory has merit. But this "charge" would be something other than the excessive electricity built up while dragging your feet across a carpeted floor.

So my point is...
This is one reason that may explain why fucking a fleshlight, or being penetrated by a dildo, or EVEN using your OWN hand is not the same as physical contact from another person--because you're missing the "exchange" of mutual energy.

Just a thought.

Thats about the best way to sum it up, thanks guys, i thought i had no sex drive or something lol.