New- relationship-scared of losing bf

[Person66]

I'm 23 and I used to be str8 but not long ago I started becoming attracted to men too! So I guess I'm bi now? Well somehow I met this gorgeous guy (he once worked as a model :biggrin: and go-go boy but didn't like it) , a fellow student, who's a year younger, and now has a non-threatening job. He previously graduated from culinary school and makes my favorite foods without my even asking. I know I'm attractive but I'm no model we have fantastic sex and he treats me almost too good, often asking me to stay at his apartment very often.
They sayif it's sounds too good to be true it's not true That's how I feel about this relationship.
What"s going on here: a gorgeous hot guy wants to give me fantastic sex, have me over as much as possible, cook for me, give me little gifts, introduced me to all of his friends (we clicked) and generally dotes on me. He even sometimes talks about are relationship long-term.
Does this not sound too good to be true what did I do to deserve this?
I don't think I have as much to offer him. I'm not as goog looking, I can't cook, nor do I have my own place. It's going to take me longer to graduate as I am studying medicine, while he's studying engineering.
What happens when he finds someone hotter with more to offer? Or gets tired of treating me so good? He'll graduate and have a job as I still have a couple more years of school.
I'm so terrified he's going to leave me and I'm getting attached to him. I thought about just ending it now! But I just can't. My heart was already broken by a girl, it can't break again!
What do you think is going on?
What do I do?
Any opinions will be greatly appreciated.

[pellaz]

put a ring on it

[dlboy53]

Stop worrying about what ifs and live for the moment. To me he sound like he wants to commit to you if he is talk about long term. To me it sounds like he sees whats inside of you more then what is on the outside and schooling should not be a problem we all know how much longer it take to go through med school. Plus if your that scared sit down with him and talk to him about your feelings but remember this that your young and have your whole life ahead of you to worry about 1 relationship, but to end it because your scared of being hurt is not the way to go. He is into you right now and you should live that to the fullest.

Just remember this know one knows what lies ahead so live life one day at a time. You could be worrying over nothing.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Rejection happens. Hearts get broken - a lot.

However it doesn't mean he WILL break your heart. There is a chance, but that chance exists with every potential mate.

In a few years you will be able to offer him medical advice....

Sure you may be a diamond in the rough (or merely a lump of coal) but you are becoming a fine cut gem stone. In time. He most likely sees that.

I have no idea what his type is. Maybe he is into bears and is feeding to you achieve his perfect mate? :biggrin: Maybe you are the man he dreamed of for years, in his mind you are perfectly good looking.

Since he studied cooking he most likely has a love of cooking, and his pleased that you like what he makes. I tend to cook and bake for others - I get my own reward when I see others eyes light up from the taste sensation from my kitchen.

I suspect you have a lot more to offer than you are aware of.

There is always a risk with any new relationship. If you hide from potential relationships because you fear you will have your heart broken you will become the old person who has a house of cats and no one in their lives.

No matter what happens you will be OK. Take it as a hopeful sign that he talks long term 'us' with you.

I doubt he will be able to say why he is attracted to you, you can ask, but don't expect exact answers. Love is rarely logical, nor is attraction explainable - it just is.

[Ceruleaan]

Sheesh, you are too cute

You've landed an awesome guys who thinks you just as awesome; otherwise he wouldn't be so into you. You know something, he might even feel exactly the same way as you do or more so. Perhaps the reason he dotes on you so much is because he's afraid of the exact same thing as you; that you'll find someone with more to offer and leave him in the dust.

That being said, why don't you try and do something super nice for him? Romantic dinner home-cooked if you can, or at a nice restaurant. Let him know how you feel about him!!

Best
Ceru

[pellaz]

... I know I'm attractive but I'm no model

Talk to him to figure his preferences for say body hair, does he want you to take a second shower in the evening, are your teeth white enough? What type of cologne and or clothing would he like you to wear. Make a day of it and take him along, goto some bargain second had shops and buy some simple vintage designer clothing, buy him a small thing too. Again talk to him about your body, how does it fit his dream boy. Say to him you want a gym partner, talk it up at the gym. You guys will have eathother's attention and its a good time to communicate

... I don't think I have as much to offer him ...

Tell him that, while you are doing this give him a inexpensive gift (flowers). Let him tell you how wrong you are and list the things he sees in you. Respect

... i met his friends

Have you met his parents? If not have him meet yours. This could be important if your out to them.

... nor do I have my own place

offer to move in, share the expenses you experience now, do house hold chores. For your self love develop an exit plan if things go bad.

... It's going to take me longer to graduate as I am studying medicine, while he's studying engineering. He'll graduate and have a job as I still have a couple more years of school.

Would he be willing to try out for a MS. In you area are there employers for the branch of engineering he is in to. Could you move your credits to the city he gets his first job in?? Work it out with him way before it starts to happen. On the positive side engineering entry salaries are very high. With your graduation money will not be an issue for you two.

...I'm so terrified he's going to leave me

Dont become paranoid he is going to leave. its not a bad that he knows your feelings on this. Trust.

... I'm getting attached to him.

He dosnt know this enough. Tell him, text him ever couple of hours "i love you", every day. But most of all just let go fall in love, tell him you are doing this. When you feel you are ready put a ring on it. serious.


I guess this is my vision of your situation, not enough information so if anything here is accurate?

Just make sure both of you want a relationship, they are a lot of work. For example my self finds it difficult to put my partner's needs and or the needs of the couple ahead of mine. Sometimes my partner dosnt say a lot and that gets me paranoid. Maybe a relationship is about communication, respect, trust... as things go along consider a gay couples training.

I really dont think being in a relationship changes the individual. I lived alone for my first 40 years, lived in a straight marriage for 15 and now with my partner. It all feels the same. I am a stronger individual and can accomplish more in a partnered situation.

[WesHollywood]

This happens. Ride it through. Watch how he handles money. Are lunch bills shared evenly, and other expenses? What about other men? Are they around? How does he talk about them? Try setting up an activity both of you will be obligated to in about three weeks, see how he responds. Put the guy in some different environments, different people and different activities. Get some feedback from others you know.

That said, there are guys like me. I am OK looking, but at age 13, I was jacking like crazy. I wanted a guy to settle down with. I had developed a list of qualities I wanted in a man before I ever had sex. For years I watched friends live for the one night stand. To me cruising was shopping for a husband, but I usually ended up settling for a one nighter. I was looking to build a foundation. I stayed on course, and found my partner.

[princealbertofb]

Maybe he feels as comfortable with you as you with him, and for him that's what he was looking for in life... Why should you feel threatened? Don't sell yourself cheaply.

[fredv3b]

In reply to the OP,

Engineers are sensible people and fairly unconcerned by superficial things. I am sure that he looks for much more in a bf than just looks. If he has his own apartment then there isn't much advantage to a bf who has his own too. He may well consider a doctor to-be as promising long-term relationship material. When you graduate you will be working very long hours, he may welcome the fact that that is a few years off.

Most importantly, if the sex is fantastic for you, it may well be fantastic for him too!


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[jamiebfd]

He may think the same as you dude.
Just get on with it and see what the future brings for you
Thats all i can advise for now.

But be carefull not to let your doubts get in the way. If he was too good for you then you simply wouldnt have him. He seems to like you alot and does the nice things for you etc. so enjoy it man