I am recently curious about my best friend. I have never thought about being gay before, but that being said, have never really had a serious relationship with a guy. (I'm 29yr female) I've had lots of random flings and sexual encounters with guys but not many relationships. My best friend and i live i a small town and don't meet many other people. Recently she's been down about work and life ect so I have been there to comfort her. But along with this, I seem to be falling for her! Is it just an emotional thing or does this mean I am interested in her? We do everything together and get along so well...hence best friends. I am not sure why I suddenly seem interested in her. I am not sure how to tell the difference if I really am or if I just care about her alot and don't want her to be sad and somehow think that physical contact will comfort her. (Neither of us are very touchy feely type people- don't hug eachother or others, mostly keep to ourselves physically). I've never reached out about being gay before but this is really troubling me. I can't afford to loose her friendship if I go to far and she's not into it. I don't think I'm into girls in general, I just seem to have a crush on her. And yes I find her very pretty, always have. Please help me!
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You don't want to lose her friendship,
so don't do anything irrational.
You want to comfort her,
sounds like you are already doing a great job at it.
Come on, you are both best friends, and you don't even hug each other?
Try initiating some sort of physical contact.
Start slow. Hold her hand, touch her shoulder, give her a hug, etc.
It is going to take time for her to open up to you physically,
but then again, it may not take long at all,
especially if she is showing signs of being 'into it'.
Don't do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable.
Remember your objective is to comfort her and be a good friend.
Don't let your sexual desires cloud your judgment.
It's all up to you from here.
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Recently your friend has been 'needful' this has sent your relationship into a new dynamic, calling upon the desire to protect/defend/take care of her that did not exist before.
Can you honestly assess yourself? Can you look at the past decade or so of your life and tell yourself that these are new emotions - feelings you have not had for other women?
Or has there been this half hidden, half buried side to you that you have been hiding from?
If No - never felt this way for another woman, then its your protective self attempting to be more of a support system for her than homosexuality.
If yes, then you are either bi or gay.
I can not tell you, no one else can. We do not know your emotional history, we have no idea what other feelings have been present in this and similar situations.
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Hello,
By the sounds of things id say you feel the urge to protect and look after her.. Of course this shows a true sign of friendship however when it comes to being sexually attracted to her thats a different kettle of fish.. My advice would be to just comfort her in ways a friend to another friend does... Once shes back on her feet and happy again you could find your motions changing... If the feelings devlop into strong desire for her why not just talk on a friend to friend basis and explain calmly how your feeling and ask her if she is or isnt just so you know for your peace of mind...
kindest regards
zeon x
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