Relationship (and sex) with a transman

[East]

I'm glad I don't have to face such discrimination that you have. Perhaps not yet.
Are those MTF people who discriminate against you non-op or fully transitioned?

The ones I have noticed are the ones who will tell you they are a straight woman trapped in a mans body and make it clear they have nothing in common with you. They can be pre op or post op. I am sure there are exceptions to what I wrote but in my own experience I haven't found any.

The guys who are the chicks with dicks were quite different...usually friendly and not at all uncomfortable around gay men or women. I guess they get the breasts and stop at cutting their penis off and like having both. They are actually quite popular with men who would otherwise be straight.

On the other hand the Female to Male Transexuals are usually really cool and inclusive.

[pisceskhminh]

The ones I have noticed are the ones who will tell you they are a straight woman trapped in a mans body and make it clear they have nothing in common with you. They can be pre op or post op. I am sure there are exceptions to what I wrote but in my own experience I haven't found any.

The guys who are the chicks with dicks were quite different...usually friendly and not at all uncomfortable around gay men or women. I guess they get the breasts and stop at cutting their penis off and like having both. They are actually quite popular with men who would otherwise be straight.

On the other hand the Female to Male Transexuals are usually really cool and inclusive.

I'm not sure how to understand what you say in the bold paragraph. Who are the guys who are the chicks with dicks? And if they are men, why are they with men who would otherwise be straight? Can you elaborate please?

[princealbertofb]

Just a thought here, but maybe someone has already said this... It seems to me that Transgendered people are mostly concerned with changing the person THEY are so it's basically an interior battle against the gender they were delivered at birth...

There are also hermaphrodites, some who are born with both sexes and will at some point, probably, need to identify as one or the other gender, and then there are gay men and lesbian women, who are quite happy with their own bodies but who can't project their love and desire onto the other sex...

So to me it's a difference between looking inward or outward. They gay man looks outward for another self. The transsexual looks inward to changing that self into something else. They are two completely different pursuits...

Once the inner identity of each person has been clearly understood, then only is it possible to see whether they are gay or not, ie projecting their affection onto the same gender or the opposite sex.

Therefore it is possible for a transgendered person to be (whether operated or not) gay or straight... Marsh knows a person in that case, so I guess it happens.

The two questions are: Who am I?
and Who do / can I love?

So this would come up as 8 conjectures but only about three categories:
I am a man who identifies as a man + I love a female = straight
I am a man who identifies as a woman + I love a female = lesbian
I am a man who identifies as a man + I love a male = gay
I am a man who identifies as a woman + I love a male = straight
I am a woman who identifies as a man + I love a female = straight
I am a woman who identifies as a man + I love a male = gay
I am a woman who identifies as a woman + I love a female = lesbian
I am a woman who identifies as a woman + I love a male = straight
and then there would be those who identify as men or women regardless of their birth gender who are happy loving either sex, who are bisexuals...

[dfiant]

Well i thought the the "T" was for "Trans" encompassing Both Transgender and Transsexual.:confused:

Thats what I have always thoughts as I always hear 'Gay, Bi, Lesbian and Trans'

I never hear the 'Trans' expanded to include 'sexual' or 'gender' to differentiate.

[azulai]

To answer the OP.
That situation would drive me nuts.
Knowing a great guy, but knowing i wouldn't be able to sexually gratify myself.
To be blunt, the only sexually organ i'm sexually attracted to is the penis, i'm not sure anything else would do and i'm actually quite turned off by Vulva/vagina.

I really couldn't say if i could compromise unless it actually happened.:redface:

I've really been trying to figure out how to answer and I'm still not sure I'm happy with where I am on this issue. :redface:
I think I would want to know (NOT on the first date) but if things got to a third date or so I'd need to know. I'm just not sure I'm mature enough to handle it and I would hate to hurt someone who has already gone through so much emotionally.

Genersis really explains my problem (bold).

[East]

I'm not sure how to understand what you say in the bold paragraph. Who are the guys who are the chicks with dicks? And if they are men, why are they with men who would otherwise be straight? Can you elaborate please?

Hmmm....I am not really sure I can give you a definitive answer but I probably know more than most people thanks to my friend Tony....

Brief background...I had a friend named Tony who hitchhiked across country and when he came back he knocked on my door at 9 pm one night and he bought the "lady" with him that had given him a ride from Texas....she was maybe 300 pounds and had bright orange hair and a gold lame jumpsuit with boots...YIKES! He leaves...she stays...breaks down crying to say she didnt' have a place to stay and no money so I told her to stay..she got a job...eventually had two other "ladies" come out ...one from New York via Peurto Rico and one from Puerto Rico and I decided to ,move out of my own house because I was living with Trans Hookers and they brought their work home with them a few times...not cool...they had breasts and a penis and they made alot of money from men who were straight and liked having the visual of a woman with the equipment of a man. I wouldn't trade a second of my time with them even though it was just short of six months total...they were funny as hell and very interesting. You wouldn't know any of these guys were men for a second. They did not want to lose their penis...they liked having it. This is a whole other realm (chicks with dicks) that you rarely hear anyone ever talk about. From the ones I have known personally I can say they are the peeps with the least amount of drama in them so maybe that is why...from what I have noticed with those three and the subsequent ones I met over the years they aren't the type that has the need to be understood or accepted and generally they seem to be quite happy....I think that is why I liked them.

The funny thing...one Christmas I brought them all over for Christmas Dinner with my family....they were dressed like (and behaved like:biggrin Charlies Angels. My mom and dad and aunts and uncles and cousins and brothers all liked them. After dinner the skinny one from New York with a heavy Puerto Rican accent entertained everyone with her rendition of Wonder Woman. One of them gave my mom a makeover and she came out looking like...a hooker

My family was very liberal:biggrin: Thats the nice thing about alot of city people...

[princealbertofb]

Just watched this very good German film. It talks precisely about the sort of relationship you are mentioning... Good sensitive film. I recommend it.

[pisceskhminh]

I've really been trying to figure out how to answer and I'm still not sure I'm happy with where I am on this issue. :redface:
I think I would want to know (NOT on the first date) but if things got to a third date or so I'd need to know. I'm just not sure I'm mature enough to handle it and I would hate to hurt someone who has already gone through so much emotionally.

Genersis really explains my problem (bold).

What a man has down there is a big deal to you, isn't it? I don't mean to be too personal asking you this. If you're not going to have anal sex with the man you like, is genital still an issue?

[pisceskhminh]

Hmmm....I am not really sure I can give you a definitive answer but I probably know more than most people thanks to my friend Tony....

Brief background...I had a friend named Tony who hitchhiked across country and when he came back he knocked on my door at 9 pm one night and he bought the "lady" with him that had given him a ride from Texas....she was maybe 300 pounds and had bright orange hair and a gold lame jumpsuit with boots...YIKES! He leaves...she stays...breaks down crying to say she didnt' have a place to stay and no money so I told her to stay..she got a job...eventually had two other "ladies" come out ...one from New York via Peurto Rico and one from Puerto Rico and I decided to ,move out of my own house because I was living with Trans Hookers and they brought their work home with them a few times...not cool...they had breasts and a penis and they made alot of money from men who were straight and liked having the visual of a woman with the equipment of a man. I wouldn't trade a second of my time with them even though it was just short of six months total...they were funny as hell and very interesting. You wouldn't know any of these guys were men for a second. They did not want to lose their penis...they liked having it. This is a whole other realm (chicks with dicks) that you rarely hear anyone ever talk about. From the ones I have known personally I can say they are the peeps with the least amount of drama in them so maybe that is why...from what I have noticed with those three and the subsequent ones I met over the years they aren't the type that has the need to be understood or accepted and generally they seem to be quite happy....I think that is why I liked them.

The funny thing...one Christmas I brought them all over for Christmas Dinner with my family....they were dressed like (and behaved like:biggrin Charlies Angels. My mom and dad and aunts and uncles and cousins and brothers all liked them. After dinner the skinny one from New York with a heavy Puerto Rican accent entertained everyone with her rendition of Wonder Woman. One of them gave my mom a makeover and she came out looking like...a hooker

My family was very liberal:biggrin: Thats the nice thing about alot of city people...

Thank you. I understand now. Although it's their choice, I can't helping thinking that it's miserable to use our bodies for making money. I know that many people have their bodies tattooed, their ears, lips, or nose pierced. That is not pain free, is it? But at least, they do that to manifest their personality. What you describe makes me feel sad.

Even though those "chicks with dicks" are not people who means any harm, true transsexual people can become victims of transphobia.

[East]

Thank you. I understand now. Although it's their choice, I can't helping thinking that it's miserable to use our bodies for making money. I know that many people have their bodies tattooed, their ears, lips, or nose pierced. That is not pain free, is it? But at least, they do that to manifest their personality. What you describe makes me feel sad.

Even though those "chicks with dicks" are not people who means any harm, true transsexual people can become victims of transphobia.

Well...There are certainly different thoughts on the subject. When I was young...it was the older people who were more conservative. The tables are turned. I dont think they are sad at all.

The thing is...alot of women and men sell their body to the highest bidder while claiming to have some kind of "moral authority"...they marry for money and use their body to get the man. At least the hookers are honest about it:biggrin: