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My friend really hurt me and broke my heart
#1
ThIs is so embarrassing for me to share but I kinda really like this guy. I enjoyed free videos of him on Vimeo, not adding up to more than 2 hours of material and much milder than you would think. But I adored the video clips and I saw he works in a very cool place (think West Hollywood)) and doing really well and is actually 4 years younger than me, and being in my 20s I still don't have many gay friends

So it meant a lot to me when he sent a kind Email, we emailed back and forth for months. I was honored so be one of his 6,000 friends
. He actually seemed kind,humble, fun loving, lighthearted,and normal. But he is very atttractive.. I'm not just saying this it's a well known fact that people comment on.
I never wanted him to be my lover, I would have been sooo happy to be a friend

We were friends, until I upset a friend of his on Facebook bt making a sel-deprecating joke about me and Xanax, she blocked me, I'm guessing maybe sha has a family member or loved one who had an addiction issue involving tranquilizers but shede-friended me on Facebook and totally blocked me he then followed. I heard from him yet and it's been weeks

I need some closure and want to know why he dropped me as a friend so quick, he won't Email me back. I tried so many times. My only hope is to call him, but I only have his work numbers. He works as a bartender in a clun and as a chef in a Restaurant.
I feel heartbroken.
What do I do?
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#2
*sigh*

Perhaps, give it some time.

"I was honored so be one of his 6,000 friends"

This doesn't sound quite right. You are putting yourself in the lower possition, you are making us/yourself? believe that you two are not equal. I know where that comes from, I was there myself. It seems to me that you are not sure what this relationship you two have/had might be.

You probably don't know who is this girl to him, how strong relationship he has with her. Maybe you did unintentionaly touch a subject that is very sensitive for both of them.

I would say, give it some time. Don't send too many messages, so that he doesn't feel like blocking your e-mail address.

And maybe... try to be happy that you two haven't been involved in some serious relationship. You might have been heartbroken now Bighug Because it's not very mature behavior, he is showing. Don't feel bad about you not being one of 6000, I am sure you'll find someone to whom you'll be THE ONE!
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#3
"I was honored to be one of his 6,000 friends" lol yeah I said that but I meant his Facebook friends, he didn't really know most of them, I have no idea what people do on Facebook, I never talked to the girl much at all, only superficially.i saw our friendship on a perfect trajectory, he lived in one of those vacation cities I'd love to go to.
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#4
Nick you are very kind thank you so much.
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#5
Anonymous Wrote:"I was honored to be one of his 6,000 friends" lol yeah I said that but I meant his Facebook friends, he didn't really know most of them, I have no idea what people do on Facebook, I never talked to the girl much at all, only superficially.i saw our friendship on a perfect trajectory, he lived in one of those vacation cities I'd love to go to.

LOL I know what you meant. Bighug It was the word honored that didn't sound right to me. You seem to have him on piedestal and there is a space just for him, not for both of you. I hope he gets back to you eventually, but I hope even more that you find someone much better in the real world too.
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#6
I would suggest forget him and go and make new friends, you can do it!Xyxthumbs. He´s not worthwhileJesse4.

6000 friends?. Wow, can´t say that´s a person I would like to befriend, but anyway you did and he seemed important to you.

If I didn´t misunderstand this, you don´t even know this guy in person, and it seems that the fact that he´s “popular” and very attractive means a lot to you, as if being the friend of someone like that grants you something good...I don´t know, like a perk or a plus. You know, like you see in the movies, soap operas and other stuff, if you are related or linked to someone that is popular because of his beauty or wealth, you look nicer or more special. Or is just the idea that of all his friends, he awarded you with his attention.

I think that if he was upset about anything you did and if he had really appreciated your friendship, at least he could have had the courtesy to tell you he was mad at you, to ask you to stop making bad jokes or something like that. I´m sorry to tell you this, but his message is very clear: no matter what you did, he doesn´t want to keep in touch with you anymore and he don´t care about whatever had happened. And one more thing, he has a lot of choices, why would he bother with someone in particular. After all, his beauty will let him get more friends very soon.

I don´t want to hurt you or make you feel bad. I´m aware that you don´t have many gay friends, but that doesn´t mean that you have to put someone on a pedestal like him just because he gave you his friendship. You´re important too, so why didn´t he try to sort out the situation. Maybe he wasn´t really very kind, humble, fun loving, lighthearted and all that jazz. Don´t waste your time, find another one, there are lots of interesting people everywhereInvasion. And I´ll suggest you something that really works: try to meet people in person. The friendship online by facebook, penpals, chat, etc… is good, but it has the disadvantage that is sometimes cold. There´s nothing like seeing people eye to eye, listen to them and be natural and spontaneous.

Your avatar doesn´t show information about the place where you live, but I´ll give you an example: Here in México there´s a magazine named “Free Time”. There´s a section called Gay or Sexual Diversity, and it contains a lot of announcements about gay groups, events, parties, where you can meet new people in a natural and ordinary way. Maybe you can find a similar publication in your country/town. Another option are the forums, where they post the same type of information, or in the last case you´ll be able to contact persons that live near the place you live. Do it however you like, but meet another people. And remember, no matter the number of friends you have or how handsome you are, you are special and important too, and if a person really cares about you or value your frienship he/she will try to keep the relationship. I wish you the best of luck, cheer up!.Xyxthumbs
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#7
.hello
I would recommend maybe getting shot of him and letting him be. Life is too short to worry over some clown on youtube video and it may be time to focus on yourself. Dont let him be the one to win by getting you hurt however the fact that he has gone with this x girl shows to me that his taking sides over his fans and as someone wanting to hit it big thats a big mistake as it shows your never goling to get anywhere

Dont beatr5 youreself up by it it isnt worth it to be honest]]

Kindest regards

zeon x
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#8
Anonymous Wrote:I need some closure and want to know why he dropped me as a friend so quick, he won't Email me back. I tried so many times.
What do I do?

He dropped you as a friend because he is a dick.

Oh I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?

You may have lots of so called friends on Facebook, twitter, even in 'real' life - but most are actually merely acquaintances. Many are dicks.

When I read in my newspaper the story of a woman who said "I'm going to kill myself" as her final post to her 2-3 thousand friends and only one decided to check up on her to discover her dead body several days later, I have to conclude that these friends ain't friends.

Try this experiment. Change your date of birth to February 23rd. On the 24th change it to March 3rd, on March 4th change it to March 23rd - see how many people will auto click and send some mindless birthday wish and see how many will notice and comment 'Gee you sure have lots of birthdays'.

Only the ones who know you or care will know when your real Birthday is.

Our society has mistaken acquaintances as friends for so long everyone thinks everyone is your friend. They aren't. They are merely acquaintances.

Most are playing a mind masturbation game, they feel good and some self worth we they see that they have 3K buddies - they measure their self worth by the number of people who have subscribed to them or other bull-shit (its all bullshit). Facebook and Twitter and My Space have made a marketable product off of low self esteem, and is teaching people that real friends number in thousands.

Real friends - tired and true friends will number 5 or less. They won't unfriend you because you made an off color joke, and they definitely would tell you exactly what they think knowing that as their friend you will eventually appreciate being told your a moron for rubbing Brenda the wrong way after all her kid sister committed suicide on Xanax - dumb ass.

And you will accept this criticism, as harsh and blunt and ugly as it is because you value that persons opinion because you know that that person cares enough to let your know you did make a mistake and how you made that mistake, but they are not going to dump you over it.

Real friends are there when you need them, and you are there when they need you. Yes you will fight and argue and threaten - just like any other healthy relationship, but few things actually lead to a break up.

He wasn't your friend, he was an acquaintance (at best) and most likely knows he is good looking and just wanted you to worship him for a while, stroke his ego to make him feel good and instead of talking with you when you make a stupid, silly mistake, he just clicked the 'unfriend' button.

Unfriend - it isn't a word. Its a made up word..

He is a dick, not your friend, not your buddy, not someone you want to be around, and defiantly not a person you can count on.
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#9
Maybe put yourself in his shoes and think about possible situations he might be dealing with. The reason I say this ...having a bit of understanding or insight into a situation makes it easier to process what happened. It may have had nothing at all to do with your comment...it could be anything.

If he is indeed popular and good looking he most likely has alot of people who want something from him...he might even have stalkers if he is putting himself out there. At the least I am positive he has obsessive people that he probably hasn't learned how to shield himself from and maybe his friend is trying to help him out...since there is no rulebook for this kind of stuff people often make mistakes.

The problem may be objectifying him and him allowing himself to be objectified. That rarely ends well or sustains itself for any length of time.
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#10
GREAT post, B.A.!
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