I'm scared ...

[JRiver]

I'm afraid that the world is becoming a place where our fellow man is second and bad manners are becoming the norm. Chivalry or random acts of kindness are few and far between and people have to be coaxed, guilted or encouraged to be kind.

I share this worry/fear. And the honest truth is, too, that I have fearful resistances to the only antidote to the stated poison in the world. I fear taking the risk of, as M. Gandhi put it, "be[ing] the change you would like to see in the world". It takes being vulnerable to offer kindness and warmth, most of the time. Most of us probably have some fear (and thus resistance) associated with memories of others not understanding and appreciating our kindness and generosity, our willingness to be open and vulnerable, loving....

Part of this is "a guy thing". Us guys are taught to suppress our tenderness, sensitivity..., so-called "feminine" traits.... We are expected to "man up" and just sorta push our weight around and pretend that we're brave and smart and all-knowing and assorted similar bullshit.

[JRiver]

I am terrified of creating any karma or not doing or completing something that will help me evolve off the earth plane of existence...I dont' want to come back here again (yeah...I know it is an odd one)

Oh, not me. If reincarnation (or rebirth) is real, I profoundly hope to come back again and again and again until we create something nearer to a paradise here--i.e., clean up the mess. Then I'll feel okay to lift off and go to wherever is next, if anything/anywhere (which I think doubtful).

You know, I'm basically a Buddhist, but I'm agnostic at best about the question of rebirth. I figger the Buddha's sangha (hundreds of years later, in writing) prolly just passed on that stuff about reincarnation/rebirth because it was the cultural norm in that time and place. But the dharma (Buddha's teachings) are just as useful to those of us who want to really live this life fully, deeply, courageously and purposefully.

[Spades]

I am also afraid of not finding THE ONE.

But I have come to the realization that if I expect 'the one', I have to be 'the one' for someone else, and no one dreams of meeting that sad, depressed guy feeling sorry for himself. So I am working hard at being the best I can be :biggrin:

[Deryn]

I'm afraid of driving. I hate it. I stalled getting my license until i was 18, and didn't get a car until 19.

As for my second fear... probably that I am being my own worst enemy. And that there are somethings I will never accomplish because I'm setting myself up for failure.

[JRiver]

As for my second fear... probably that I am being my own worst enemy. And that there are somethings I will never accomplish because I'm setting myself up for failure.

Ah, but if you can catch yourself in the act of being your own worst enemy, or setting yourself up for failure, you can perhaps also learn how to stop doing these things!

Are you very, very critical and perfectionistic in your expectations of yourself? Me: I'm too perfectionistic toward myself and about my work.

[JRiver]

I am also afraid of not finding THE ONE.

But I have come to the realization that if I expect 'the one', I have to be 'the one' for someone else, and no one dreams of meeting that sad, depressed guy feeling sorry for himself. So I am working hard at being the best I can be :biggrin:

Insightful stuff, Spades.

And you prolly know you need to love yourself intensely if you are to receive such love from another as well. That's the hard part for most of us!:frown:

[minhthien94]

I'm afraid of heartbroken. That's the main reason I dont date even though I know thats the only way to find the right guy :biggrin:

But at least Im happy now.

[minhthien94]

I am also afraid of not finding THE ONE.

But I have come to the realization that if I expect 'the one', I have to be 'the one' for someone else, and no one dreams of meeting that sad, depressed guy feeling sorry for himself. So I am working hard at being the best I can be :biggrin:

I dont know man. It just like yesterday u thought he was "The-One" but the next day is "D-One." I feel pretty sad for my friend (even str8 or G).

I dont even know where Im heading to ... lol

[JRiver]

I'm afraid of [being]] heartbroken. That's the main reason I don't date even though I know that's the only way to find the right guy :biggrin:

But at least I'm happy now.

Congratulations on being happy.

Now... confront your fear of being heartbroken ... or I'll come over there and break your leg! and your arms!

No, seriously, take it from an expert, your heart will eventually be broken. Somehow, somewhen. It's inevitable. It always happens. Take it from a guy with a smattering of grey in his hair.

It's just like learning to walk, or riding a bike. You learn by scraping your knees bloody, by falling off and getting hurt. There's no evading the bloody mess. So get out there and break something!:tongue:

[Rainbowmum]

Out living one my children.