@"baristajedi" I would probably just ignore the message she sent. Not sure that the long story might entail but she should be totally happy that you're dating someone else after basically sending you off.

As long as you're happy with what you're doing and you're not finding yourself overthinking something either about your crush or the other woman. No overthinking allowed lol

She sent you a weird message?  Reminds me of something that happened to my friend...she got basically dumped by this woman she was dating.  It hurt her a lot, but after a while she met someone new.  She had 2 dates with the new woman, and suddenly the ex was messaging her and blowing up her phone.  She had really cared for the first woman, so decided to give her another chance.  But as soon as she stopped seeing the second woman, the first one started acting like a jerk and dumped her again.  IDK, some people turn out to be not at all what they seem.

Sounds like you had a great time with your crush, so relax and enjoy!  As for the other one, any relationship that starts out with drama and uncertainty probably isn't worth it.  For me, it's so important to be comfortable with the one I'm with and not always wondering what they're thinking, what they mean, etc.  We're supposed to be having fun!!

(05-25-2020, 10:28 AM)Cridders88 Wrote: Aw, glad the date went well, hopefully it continues to do so and feel more natural than with the other girl

She sent you a weird message? As in she's having second  thoughts? Regardless, it seems to be going well with your crush so you're right to not really dwell on it.

Thanks    about to see the new girl (crush) today... I finish work and I'm heading to hers. It's pretty great so far  . 

The weird message, it's either second thoughts or bitchiness. First, the reason she knows I met someone - i posted something like "unexpected things and timing have me feeling happy" and my crush wrote on my post, something like i'm feeling exactly the same.  I wasn't really intending for it to be noted by anyone but my crush and a few friends i'd been telling about my crush. 

So the original girl, her message to me was something really strange like  - looks like you're having a good weekend, remember if she says meet at 1, be there at 1 (heart face emojis). For context, I was late twice when we met because of issues with my daughter, which i was very apologetic about. It seems she's just making a crap comment to be bitchy towards me, good thing we didn't keep dating, doesn't seem like the move of a nice person!

(05-27-2020, 12:19 PM)baristajedi Wrote:

(05-25-2020, 10:28 AM)Cridders88 Wrote: Aw, glad the date went well, hopefully it continues to do so and feel more natural than with the other girl

She sent you a weird message? As in she's having second  thoughts? Regardless, it seems to be going well with your crush so you're right to not really dwell on it.

Thanks    about to see the new girl (crush) today... I finish work and I'm heading to hers. It's pretty great so far  . 

The weird message, it's either second thoughts or bitchiness. First, the reason she knows I met someone - i posted something like "unexpected things and timing have me feeling happy" and my crush wrote on my post, something like i'm feeling exactly the same.  I wasn't really intending for it to be noted by anyone but my crush and a few friends i'd been telling about my crush. 

So the original girl, her message to me was something really strange like  - looks like you're having a good weekend, remember if she says meet at 1, be there at 1 (heart face emojis). For context, I was late twice when we met because of issues with my daughter, which i was very apologetic about. It seems she's just making a crap comment to be bitchy towards me, good thing we didn't keep dating, doesn't seem like the move of a nice person!

What the f is this girl's problem? Sounds like she has some issues herself. I'm leaning more towards her being bitchy rather than having second thoughts. Sounds like she doesn't want you in that way but at the same time she is bitter about you seeing someone else. Up to you what you do of course but I would block someone like this and cut ties completely. She sounds like too much aggro.

I agree that it's a good thing you aren't seeing her anymore, I guess people's true colours always show eventually.

Enjoy seeing the new girl later

Hmm yeah, whether it is bitchiness or her actually having a problem with your tardiness probably is the best that you two aren't dating. I get being upset about people being late if they're very late and without any real reason...I once was to pick someone up, I sat in their driveway for over a half hour... Ended up being one of the worst dates in my life.

(05-25-2020, 02:16 PM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: @"baristajedi" I would probably just ignore the message she sent. Not sure that the long story might entail but she should be totally happy that you're dating someone else after basically sending you off.

As long as you're happy with what you're doing and you're not finding yourself overthinking something either about your crush or the other woman. No overthinking allowed lol

I ended up ignoring the weird aspect of it by saying "not sure what you mean"and then "hope you're having great weekend!" she wrote back immediately after and I haven't even opened it.

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(05-25-2020, 08:44 PM)Pyromancer Wrote: She sent you a weird message?  Reminds me of something that happened to my friend...she got basically dumped by this woman she was dating.  It hurt her a lot, but after a while she met someone new.  She had 2 dates with the new woman, and suddenly the ex was messaging her and blowing up her phone.  She had really cared for the first woman, so decided to give her another chance.  But as soon as she stopped seeing the second woman, the first one started acting like a jerk and dumped her again.  IDK, some people turn out to be not at all what they seem.

Sounds like you had a great time with your crush, so relax and enjoy!  As for the other one, any relationship that starts out with drama and uncertainty probably isn't worth it.  For me, it's so important to be comfortable with the one I'm with and not always wondering what they're thinking, what they mean, etc.  We're supposed to be having fun!!

Yeah, I wouldn't go back with her, there's no way, she is showing bitchiness that seems out of nowhere, no time for that. 

To be honest I wouldn't have even opened her message but it came through while i was having sex with the new girl (lol) and afterwards you know we're laying together and i lazily reached for my phone thinking it might be something about my kid, and new girl and i both see the other girl's name on the phone (urgh), i briefly explained context and laughed it off and we looked together.

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(05-27-2020, 12:32 PM)Cridders88 Wrote:

(05-27-2020, 12:19 PM)baristajedi Wrote:

(05-25-2020, 10:28 AM)Cridders88 Wrote: Aw, glad the date went well, hopefully it continues to do so and feel more natural than with the other girl

She sent you a weird message? As in she's having second  thoughts? Regardless, it seems to be going well with your crush so you're right to not really dwell on it.

Thanks    about to see the new girl (crush) today... I finish work and I'm heading to hers. It's pretty great so far  . 

The weird message, it's either second thoughts or bitchiness. First, the reason she knows I met someone - i posted something like "unexpected things and timing have me feeling happy" and my crush wrote on my post, something like i'm feeling exactly the same.  I wasn't really intending for it to be noted by anyone but my crush and a few friends i'd been telling about my crush. 

So the original girl, her message to me was something really strange like  - looks like you're having a good weekend, remember if she says meet at 1, be there at 1 (heart face emojis). For context, I was late twice when we met because of issues with my daughter, which i was very apologetic about. It seems she's just making a crap comment to be bitchy towards me, good thing we didn't keep dating, doesn't seem like the move of a nice person!

What the f is this girl's problem? Sounds like she has some issues herself. I'm leaning more towards her being bitchy rather than having second thoughts. Sounds like she doesn't want you in that way but at the same time she is bitter about you seeing someone else. Up to you what you do of course but I would block someone like this and cut ties completely. She sounds like too much aggro.

I agree that it's a good thing you aren't seeing her anymore, I guess people's true colours always show eventually.

Enjoy seeing the new girl later

Exactly, it seems super strange to me that she is needing to vent some sort of bitchiness if she has no interest in me in the first place, why not just go our own ways? I haven't felt the need to block her but i have just not even opened her follow up message, probably won't do so at all. I don't really have time to get into a text battle over whatever petty things she's holding onto. it's childish and a waste of time...

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(05-27-2020, 12:37 PM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: Hmm yeah, whether it is bitchiness or her actually having a problem with your tardiness probably is the best that you two aren't dating. I get being upset about people being late if they're very late and without any real reason...I once was to pick someone up, I sat in their driveway for over a half hour... Ended up being one of the worst dates in my life.

I do feel bad about having been late, but it was like 10 min both times, and she was late 15 min once, so meh. Also, i did feel very apologetic when i was running behind, because i think it's rude to do so, but it was issues with my daughter, so i really couldn't help it. Still, if that really annoyed someone, I would totally get it, i know it can feel really dismissive when someone is late, so i own it if i've messed up in that area. It's not a nice feeling on a date with a new person even when there's good reason.

Hmm, are you going to read it? If you don't think you want to be friends with her and that trying to do so is not going to be worth it or just lead to trouble you may consider just cutting ties (although that may not be possible depending on the situation).

(05-27-2020, 12:58 PM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: Hmm, are you going to read it? If you don't think you want to be friends with her and that trying to do so is not going to be worth it or just lead to trouble you may consider just cutting ties (although that may not be possible depending on the situation).

i think I’m either just not going to open the message and forget about it. Or I’ll open it and say listen, it doesn’t feel like friendship is a really good things for us, hope you’re well, but rather not stay in touch. 

i haven’t really decided which just yet.

the annoying thing is, we will cross paths again most likely because I work in a queer organisation, and I’m sure she’ll be at events I’m part of through work or that we’ll see each other at some social thing.... not sure that really mich matters as to how/whether I respond to her

Late? Late? You're just amateurs!

The first time I went to meet PA in real life I was waiting at Geneva Airport for two hours. I had no clue where I was was supposed to be going, couldn't speak any French and had no Swiss francs (I assumed I would need Euros for when I arrived in France). To be truthful, I couldn't be certain the whole invitation to visit wasn't a windup. He once managed to arrive twenty-three hours late for Christmas dinner with his brother's family. Usually last minute laundry, finishing off a costume or cake-baking is involved.

It's a good job he has many, many redeeming qualities.

Some people are late to everything. One of my co-workers is late for everything, people tease him and say he'll be late for his funeral.

That being said, I'm usually early for everything...its anxiety. I guess anxiety has its positives?