He refuses being bottom, but he says he likes only top guys....

[Chris86]

You also need to understand that there's a big difference between what people fantasize about and what they do in real life. I am into very mild BDSM, but what I fantasize about is not mild at all. About whether chatting while masturbating constitutes infidelity, the two of you will need to work that out. I don't have an opinion.

But one last thing. You and your boyfriend both need to gain a better understanding of anal sex. I found an old thread about this where someone mentions the "Ten Rules of Anal Sex" - among them: #2 Anal stimulation, including intercourse, is not painful if done properly; #3 Anal sex can be enjoyed even if it has been consistently uncomfortable in the past; and #9 Anal intercourse is not necessarily an act of dominance and submission.
I can't post a link to the thread (?!) but it's thread #27034, and if you do a search on "first-ish" it should get you to it. The book quoted is "Anal Pleasure and Health" by Jack Morin.

Hope you can find something helpful in here.

[SIZE="5"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]I think that in a couple it is the best when everyone express every fantasy he has! this is what I do with him.... I shared them with him and I tried to involve him in them..... and he liked it...... we tried pissing... or having sex in strange places.... there is nothing that I would not do with him.... nothing I would refuse him.... and I think this is because I love him . And the thing that really disappointed me was that he has some kind of bottom fantasies with other people..... and not with me I feel not included in what he likes..... and I feel I am not able to satisfy him
I'm gonna find that book!!!! I promise.... I hope it will help us to understand things that now are a problem[/COLOR][/SIZE]