Sex might end my relationship - please help!

[rroepcke]

Thanks for all of your responses guys

TwistTheLeaf With the Aldara, I wasn't aware that the burning also goes beneath the surface at the time and I did wait a solid month after completing treatment before attempting sex again (the recommended guideline). and it wasn't painful at that time and was more tight and uncomfortable than it was painful. I originally assumed the lack of sex meant I had tightened up, as prior to the treatment we had never gone more than a week or so without sex. And as for lube we were using the same as we always had - I think just the tightness, combined with an inability to relax on my part meant that the injury could happen.

After the last conversation I said I would go to the doctors and get a full check over, inside and out to give me the all-clear and until then sex is on hold. I do agree with your other points though. For me, I'd be happy with the companionship, support and affection. And that's what frightens me - perhaps these injuries have just amplified the fundamental difference between us?

Shawn, please don't apologise for your English, you're doing great (even better than some Australians).

I guess in our relationship, I've generally always been the one to step up and do more. But that's not because he's not interested - he's just incredibly driven, ambitious, and accomplished. But that has been a good thing - it's made me step up, try more and as a result have made great strides in my professional life (and also in terms of my confidence).

That said though, I feel as though this hurdle has highlighted a big difference between us; that for me, sex is more secondary.

Cuddly I know - the reviews are awful, and if I had known before that it would mean these consequences, I would never have used it in the first place. It has part of me wondering if I will ever enjoy sex again.

And yeah, haha, I do kind of feel like he's a douche. But me being angry at him doesn't help the situation or resolve anything. I gave him a solid month of hell when I found out I had the virus; as someone who avoided casual sex for fear of STI's - this is almost a nightmare for me.