Is my Ex-husband gay? Need opinions

[Confused1]

My ex-husband always complimented my choice of colour in clothing and noticed my nails when they were polished and would comment on how they match my clothing. Plus he would say "Oh that is a nice look" when he looked at some new clothing... Never "Wow that's sexy/hot" etc./
Plus he would avoid sex with me at all costs.... chosing to be outside in the garage with his hobbies saying he didn't want to 'waste' his day off in bed, etc. :mad:

Not only that, I could walk around the house naked and he barely looked at me
Anyway, I wondered if anyone has an opinion whether they think this is gay behaviour or not.

I would truly appreciate any advice/comments/experiences

[Nick9]

Hello,
well, since you are saying "ex" husband... Do you really need to know? I mean if he didn't tell you...?
He could simply say those things because this is the way someone talked in his family, or because he simply didn't mean that it was "sexy."

And the lack of his attention could be because of the years (?) you had spent together. I guess he had used to noticed you in the beginning, otherwise you would have probably never married him.

[Confused1]

Also... our sex life was always VERY sparatic... about once every 4 months.
Closer to the end it was down to once every 6 months.
I remember one time at the very end, he said "Why don't we make a pact that I won't come onto you so I don't have to 'worry' about it anymore"

[Pix]

The ONLY thing that makes me think he might be gay (or possibly asexual) is his lack of interest in sex with you from the beginning. The rest does not signify to me.

And some males are turned off by brazen nudity. These types--and there are plenty--would find a fully clothed woman who accidentally showed some leg (with bonus points if she blushes) to be hotter than a stripper baring all. That is to say even if your ex was completely straight he could still have found your nudity a turn off.

As men (like women) are wired in so many ways, there's all kinds of reasons why he might be turned off by things like nudity. For some the clothed woman would be more enticing as she's forbidden fruit and many people (including women) want what they think they might be denied while showing little to no interest in what's freely available to them. Others might be turned on by the clothed woman's vulnerability (which brings out the best in some men and the worst in others). For other men the stripper could be intimidating as she's likely experienced and jaded (and thus high maintenance and hard to please) while a shy, clothed woman seems more approachable and easier to to bond with. And, of course, other men want a woman who is exclusive (for a variety of reasons, from romantic idealism to purely selfish ones) and thus more attracted to the modest woman than the one who freely bares all.

I've listened to men share what they like and all the above reasons apply to one or more of them. And, of course, some men instead prefer the sexually bold women, the strippers to the shy waifs, the promiscuous to the virginal, and the like. Some men (and I've heard of one gay male like this as well) find they're most attracted to women (or men in the case of the gay guy) who are married to someone else, again for a variety of reasons.

I'm not saying you did anything wrong by walking around nude, only that it doesn't mean he's gay simply because he saw you naked and wasn't aroused.

[Nick9]

*sigh* without trying to sound annoying, wouldn't it be easier to ask him and offer him your support? Or do you seek a confirmation that the end of your marriage was not your (or not anybody's) fault?

If you came here trying to save your marriage, I guess I would do my best to come up with a solution. But now I just feel that it is scrictly your exhusband's private matter.

Maybe it's just me and this 1:30 a.m. time though...

[Confused1]

The ONLY thing that makes me think he might be gay (or possibly asexual) is his lack of interest in sex with you from the beginning. The rest does not signify to me.

And some males are turned off by brazen nudity. These types--and there are plenty--would find a fully clothed woman who accidentally showed some leg (with bonus points if she blushes) to be hotter than a stripper baring all. That is to say even if your ex was completely straight he could still have found your nudity a turn off.

As men (like women) are wired in so many ways, there's all kinds of reasons why he might be turned off by things like nudity. For some the clothed woman would be more enticing as she's forbidden fruit and many people (including women) want what they think they might be denied while showing little to no interest in what's freely available to them. Others might be turned on by the clothed woman's vulnerability (which brings out the best in some men and the worst in others). For other men the stripper could be intimidating as she's likely experienced and jaded (and thus high maintenance and hard to please) while a shy, clothed woman seems more approachable and easier to to bond with. And, of course, other men want a woman who is exclusive (for a variety of reasons, from romantic idealism to purely selfish ones) and thus more attracted to the modest woman than the one who freely bares all.

I've listened to men share what they like and all the above reasons apply to one or more of them. And, of course, some men instead prefer the sexually bold women, the strippers to the shy waifs, the promiscuous to the virginal, and the like. Some men (and I've heard of one gay male like this as well) find they're most attracted to women (or men in the case of the gay guy) who are married to someone else, again for a variety of reasons.

I'm not saying you did anything wrong by walking around nude, only that it doesn't mean he's gay simply because he saw you naked and wasn't aroused.

Hmmm thank you for this... You've given me much food for thought. Very much appreciated.

[pellaz]

... I remember one time at the very end, he said "Why don't we make a pact that I won't come onto you so I don't have to 'worry' about it anymore"

just seems there were other things going on too.

Divorce can be rough; you need to concentrate on your self not your X

[Confused1]

*sigh* without trying to sound annoying, wouldn't it be easier to ask him and offer him your support? Or do you seek a confirmation that the end of your marriage was not your (or not anybody's) fault?

If you came here trying to save your marriage, I guess I would do my best to come up with a solution. But now I just feel that it is scrictly your exhusband's private matter.

Maybe it's just me and this 1:30 a.m. time though...

Well we are separated.
Deep inside I do want to save my marriage but I guess I need to know there is something TO save. It's been a long and difficult road here.

[Inchante]

My ex-husband always complimented my choice of colour in clothing and noticed my nails when they were polished and would comment on how they match my clothing. Plus he would say "Oh that is a nice look" when he looked at some new clothing... Never "Wow that's sexy/hot" etc./
Plus he would avoid sex with me at all costs.... chosing to be outside in the garage with his hobbies saying he didn't want to 'waste' his day off in bed, etc. :mad:

Not only that, I could walk around the house naked and he barely looked at me
Anyway, I wondered if anyone has an opinion whether they think this is gay behaviour or not.

I would truly appreciate any advice/comments/experiences

Gay behavior is having sex with a member of your own sex . . . and sometimes, that is simply bisexual behavior or sheer simple human curiosity.

It sounds like you are trying to determine his sexuality through a few shallow stereotypes and a disinterest in sex. Really, there is too much variance in human behavior to be able to determine his sexuality from those few things.

There are a million reasons why he might not have been interested in sex. Only one of those is latent homosexuality.

I'm afraid that trying to render a conclusion on this little bit of information is not possible.

[dfiant]

I think you are confusing some of his behaviours with the incorrect stereotypical gay man.

Nothing you have said in your short post screams 'homosexual' to me, it actually screams SNAG and then screams INCOMPATIBLE, and then finally is scream LOVE.

He is a sensitive guy that loves you, but you are sexually incompatible.

If you really want to know if he is gay, ask him, that is not a question anyone can answer for your Ex.