I am a 28 year old virgin...and suffering from it:(

[danwd172]

What is there with regards to low self esteem you find is holding you back? I would say the fact your leaning towards white men rather than others could simplify why it is so hard to find someone.

I think low self esteem is a problem to me. I remember there is one time I was shopping at a mall and found a gay white man standing about 3 yards far from me and obviously checking me out. I looked him back for a second and then looked away immediately because I’m too nervous to have eye contact with men, especially those I think are attractive. Things like this have happened at times and I’m so mad at myself for being so chicken.

Now if you masturbate regularly it can cause at times pre ejaculations very quickly because you have over sensored the top of your penis which causes excitement alot quicker and therefore maybe limit masturbation to a few nights a week instead of daily if doing daily... Now the problems of getting an erection harder to get up can be a sign of masturbating too much... Why not try to avoid any form of this for just a week and allow your hormones to make you feel dead horny inside and see how it goes from there...

Your friend is right why time yourself masturbating??? Next time see how long you can go on keeping an erection and see if you can do a ten minute wonder with yaself.... It can make things feel alot more pleasurable if you play before spray....

I don’t masturbate daily and I think the cause of the problem is a mental issue. It’s all because I stress myself out when I’m planning to time myself jerking off. How stupid is that? I really need to learn how to get over self-doubt and enjoy sex itself otherwise performance anxiety will come to me when I finally have chance to get laid, and that’s definitely not good.

[danwd172]

Sometimes I'm not sure which is worse, to finally loose your big-V then to go through years of not having sex or still being a virgin.

As a Asian guy myself, I'm not really sure why my preference would be a white guy. It seems to be a running thing with most Asian gay guys. It makes sense sort of, most of my Asian girl friends only date white guys. So if you look at it that way it kind of makes sense lol.

I prefer white guys, but I'm not closed to the idea of dating a guy of another race/colour.

I don't really know what to advice other than to get yourself out there more. I don't know how the social climate over there concerning LGBT people, but if there LGBT groups that meet outside of Clubs and Bars maybe you should try that.

I'm not gonna tell you that you'll meet that guy and it'll be perfect cause I'm having a hard time believing and telling myself that these days. All I can say is, if you really want it to happen, then make it happen.

Good luck..!

thank youmile:

[danwd172]

it also sucks because most of my friends have someone. I'm happy for them really but I find myself sitting at home a lot lol. do it.

Literally, I can deal with being alone very well, it’s never been an issue to me coz I could just hang out with friends or find things to entertain myself. But it sucks when I need an intimacy, there is no one there for me.

[brybry87]

Haha dfiant,

Hey nooow..!

[Jay]

I think the problem is a.) I’m too shy, low-self-esteemed and passive to pursue love and b.) don’t get me wrong, I’m not ashamed of my race, but I found that only white men can actually interest me, which makes it harder for me to find a partner in my country. A male friend of mine, who is straight, has always said that he would like to set me up with a nice white man as long as he meets one, but it has not happened yet I’m so desperate and considering maybe I should try internet date.

I think you have two choices.

• Considering that it is difficult to find a partner in your country, you have to broaden up your preference. Not exclusively to white men.
  
• Second choice. If you really want a white man to be your boyfriend, you have to get your act up together. As long as you stay shy and passive, you will not going anywhere. Most foreigners are more open and less conservative than most of us Asians, so shy and passive are not tolerable.
  

Good luck, danwd172.

[Jay]

I forgot to mention.

I'm 29 and still a virgin. So there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Lose it when you are ready. Do not lose it out of pressure from yourself, friends and your surrounding.

[danwd172]

I think you have two choices.

• Considering that it is difficult to find a partner in your country, you have to broaden up your preference. Not exclusively to white men.
  
• Second choice. If you really want a white man to be your boyfriend, you have to get your act up together. As long as you stay shy and passive, you will not going anywhere. Most foreigners are more open and less conservative than most of us Asians, so shy and passive are not tolerable.
  

Good luck, danwd172.

Thank you for the advice

I've been working on the option 2 for a long time. I'm trying to make myself more confident and active.

It's just...I duuno, Im still working on it

[zeon]

Hello,
Next time an oppetinunity arises dont be scared to go for it just begin by talking with them and even if its a Hi and nothing goes further at least you have made the intitial contact.. I used to get like that but now i kinda just say it as it is... My chat up line is something like... So are you eye balling me mister because i noticed your eyes watching me from a distance and i figured id respond and hey ho see where we go.. The problem is over coming nerves because if you dont respond it may make it more difficult next time round i mean first time is the worst then it gets easier
Please put the stop clock in the bin mister because your not breaking anyn world records for masturbating in less than ten seconds unless your ME:-D MWAH LOL... It is ment to be something relaxing not stressful.. I think you would fijnd it more easier with somne chilled out music

Kindest regards

asunty zeon x

[danwd172]

I forgot to mention.

I'm 29 and still a virgin. So there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Lose it when you are ready. Do not lose it out of pressure from yourself, friends and your surrounding.

Just out of curious, is it hard to be gay in Malaysia?
Homosexuality is not a taboo in Taiwan, but we don't talk about it much.

[danwd172]

Hello,
Next time an oppetinunity arises dont be scared to go for it just begin by talking with them and even if its a Hi and nothing goes further at least you have made the intitial contact.. I used to get like that but now i kinda just say it as it is... My chat up line is something like... So are you eye balling me mister because i noticed your eyes watching me from a distance and i figured id respond and hey ho see where we go.. The problem is over coming nerves because if you dont respond it may make it more difficult next time round i mean first time is the worst then it gets easier

I know it's easier said than done, but I'll try to next time when I the opportunity comes.

Please put the stop clock in the bin mister because your not breaking anyn world records for masturbating in less than ten seconds unless your ME:-D MWAH LOL

LOL