Father taking it bad...

[princealbertofb]

I'm in the same boat ... my dad wanted to know everything about my sexual orientation, but hasn't mentioned it at all since. It's like I never told my parents. I'm not sure which I would rather, this awkward silence or your situation. But it will get better. Promise!

Sod it, I'm adding you as a friend on here. Assuming I can find out how to!

for you sonofthemanse... To befriend someone, click on their name, go to their profile and find the befriend button, that's all.

[princealbertofb]

There is only 3 things that will help your father

Time Time Time

And a bit of EQ (emotional quotient or intelligence). I don't think it's acquired... it can be educated. mile:

[princealbertofb]

I didn't quite work out what religion your father was referring to and in which faith he (and presumably you) have been brought up? Can you shed a little light thereupon?

[Buring]

catholic I believe how it's spelt.
But I believe in what I believe in..Not really set by a book.

Which is probably the reason imma burn in hell anyways.. For not being part of a religion and simply believing what I believe is the right thing to believe in... >.<

[ikemen]

First, I want to say that we love you and send you lots of hugs and healing strength.

Your father is afraid. Like many of us he is using his religious beliefs and living in his belief in a living action of loving his son without fear.

I know that it might seem odd that in this instance you must be strong for him. After all, it has taken you a long while to arrive at this point and all of this is new to him. So this is what I suggest.

Many guys (yes even gay guys) are sometimes not so good at having conversations about how we feel. So, I think you should write your father a note NOT about being gay but a note to thank him for his love and support as a dad. Be sure to mention how much he has taught you (if this is true) and how grateful for all those gifts. I would leave this note for him (and I'd slip my mother a copy also).

This will do two things. It will remind him of what is important and that you are the same young man that he has raised.

Second, I would find online or in your area a religiously based gay organization like glaad or someone who can help you bolster your contention that being gay and believing in god are NOT opposing notions form a biblical perspective.

Finally, while this rejection might be painfully this is also a fine opportunity for you to understand more clearly that while your parents are parents, they are also people with the same fears, failings, and flaws as everyone else.

These are their flaws and they have nothing to do with the rightness of your acknowledging the fact that being gay is one important part of who you are.

With love! Love your dad and try not to judge his judging you.

Love him and he will find his way back to you.

A Hug & A Kiss!

[princealbertofb]

As I said somewhere else... a belief is very personal, and so is one's religion. Sometimes it fits in a more general framework like Christianity, or Islam or Buddhism etc, but your beliefs are always quite personal and intimate.

[princealbertofb]

First, I want to say that we love you and send you lots of hugs and healing strength.

... ...
With love! Love your dad and try not to judge his judging you.

Love him and he will find his way back to you.

A Hug & A Kiss!

I could not find a THANK YOU button for your post Ikemen. So thanks. mile:

[Buring]

Thank you everyone, love and support much appreciated.
All I can really do for now I guess is ignore his words and try to move on.
Kill them with kindness is what some say.. Lol
I'll just keep my smile, coming out has given me a lot of relief with my social anxiety, all I can do now is give him time and hope maybe one day he'll stop and accept me for being gay.

At least with my mom, she doesn't want me to really talk about gay stuff with her.. She says she wants to know me for who I am, I think she is somewhat in denial which is okay as well, at least she defends me when my dad says imma be burning in hell. ^.^

I myself, have to move on at some point.. I've held onto for years.

[princealbertofb]

Thank you everyone, love and support much appreciated.
All I can really do for now I guess is ignore his words and try to move on.
Kill them with kindness is what some say.. Lol
I'll just keep my smile, coming out has given me a lot of relief with my social anxiety, all I can do now is give him time and hope maybe one day he'll stop and accept me for being gay.

At least with my mom, she doesn't want me to really talk about gay stuff with her.. She says she wants to know me for who I am, I think she is somewhat in denial which is okay as well, at least she defends me when my dad says imma be burning in hell. ^.^

I myself, have to move on at some point.. I've held onto for years.

Yes, you have honey, but now you're standing on your own two feet and there's no more dithering. No, not kill them with kindness. Just show them respect and expect the same from them. But, I'm guessing, respect and kindness come hand in hand, in your case. :tongue: Mostly, be yourself. If you're a nice guy, you're a nice guy... how's that going to change?

[Buring]

Well here's an update...!
He now thinks I am utterly confused and will meet a girl and it'll all be fixed...
I just smiled and walked away.
But it's better then being told I am burning in hell right?

Other then that.. I am hoping when i turn 21..Start going to some gay bars and stuff, possibly meet someone i'll love long term(crossing my fingers I might meet someone before that... But I am hopelessly shy at times with meeting new people!)
Maybe when he sees me with another man, he'll be bit more accepting.