Father taking it bad...

[magicguide01]

Buring, I admire your courage and wish you all the best in gaining your fathers acceptance, also in finding that special someone. Just know that there is always someone who has your back. Keep us updated and know this community is here for you, good luck!

[zeon]

Hello,
I am sorry to hear this... Your dad is the one with the problem because is gays is against some crap to do with the fella upstairs then why the hell are most animals bi sexual? male dogs hump male dogs and they dont have a problem with it, the reason we do is because we created a society which is fulled on hatred and prejudice towards one another and we have taught ourselves to hate rather than to love and sadly your dad has gone down thisn route... I know it is difficult with an aqward father but remember his only this way because he hasnt yet accepted something which he should dop because you are his son and he is your dad he should be happy for what life you have been given because what made him go with your mum on the night you were first created is the same thing that makes you want to go with same sex... Its not anything different from what they were doing and if it is its only a small thing... No chance of getting ya fella pregant x

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

Oh my young friend you say you have no way to leave the house but you do have options you just do not want to do it..perhaps.

I retired from the U.S. Navy it got my out of the house of my father who took twelve years to accept me for who i am.

I saw the world and got paid for it and got good life experience as well.

NO I am not saying the military is right for everyone but it is an option.

[James]

Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. Mk. 4.24
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
6 ¶ Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

I have never been able to find one instance in my King James or Standard Bible, where Jesus "cured" a gay man when he was curing all the differnt disease's that inflicted man. My God cares about me and puts the people in my life that I need at that time. He also has a way of letting me know when I am off course. Parents often have preconceived idea's how their children will grow up and what they will become. They other issue with males is there name. (this is a reflection on me). Has nothing to do with them. We are individuals, we all make our own choices, give it time, and let your pain and fustration go, James

[Buring]

Oh my young friend you say you have no way to leave the house but you do have options you just do not want to do it..perhaps.

I retired from the U.S. Navy it got my out of the house of my father who took twelve years to accept me for who i am.

I saw the world and got paid for it and got good life experience as well.

NO I am not saying the military is right for everyone but it is an option.

I understand I have options, I also have many friends that would take me in if anything ever did occur.


But, if I allow my dad to simply get rid of me....I would only be doing him a favor, I have other people who don't want me to leave in the house as well, and need me for that matter.

Once I get a job, I am sure when I move out things will become way more better for the both of us.

I'll also add a update...In this post!

He got scolded by his friends at work when he started telling people, he was trying to get support for himself, which I told him was fine.
The only one at his work who did not agree with it, was his boss...But she blamed him, but the others told him nothing was wrong with me ;p
He just has to deal with it, love is love...

I'll just for now, give him the time he needs....And bit of space.

[avidcyclistMTB]

If you leave you might be doing him the great favor of missing his son. A little distance might be just what he needs and perhaps what you need too.

It sounds like from your updates that he's already getting feedback from the outside world which means he's talking about it which is a huge step in the right direction for him whether he knows it or not. Just the fact that he's talking to his co-workers, even if to seek out support, means he's brave enough to bring it up. It's great that he's hearing from them what he's hearing.

I have been out for a little more than 5 years now and the only people in my life that have had a problem with it are my family. The reason: Religion. My father's side of the family are cultist christians. I have not spoken to my parents in three years. They simply cannot accept the fact that I live with another man and that I'm happy. I have never subscribed to their religion and have always been the outcast of the family to begin with, but my coming out drove the final nail. This is not to say they will never come around to the idea or even be civil about it but I have to prepare for that possibility and I think you should too. Your dad just might be too entrenched in his religion to change.

Still, you need to be true to you and it sounds as though you are trying to be compassionate toward him. Good for you.

Don't think of moving out as giving him a free ride though. If it's what you need to do to be you, then do it for YOU. It might just force him to think about it more than ever. No doubt you'll come home to visit and if he sees you as independent and happy what an impression that will leave.

So many of us know what you are going through and have been through very similar times. Hang in there and don't do anything stupid. Sounds to me like you have a good head on your shoulders. Let your good sense guide you and keep us posted.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Tell your father to stop commenting on the splinter in your eye and tend to the beam in his own eye.

There are lots of sites out there that approach the bible and homosexuality positively. http://www.gaychristian101.com/ is just one such.

A Google search: http://www.google.com/#hl=en&output=sear...59&bih=858

You have it easy, back when I was your age we didn't have the internet and few authors were actually writing anything worth reading that was affirming and tolerant of homosexuality when it comes to the bible. Now we have many authors, all who approach the text and translations and the culture and real history of humanity.

Dad wants to talk from the bible? Fine, learn it and talk back using the same book. He wants to use it as a weapon, then you use it as a tool.

LGBT affirming churches: http://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/f...church.htm

There is a long list divided up by region of churches that love LGBT and have reconciled the bible and God.

Ask dad what Jesus had to say about homosexuality. That would be something in Red in the King James Version. Watch dad scramble, he will quote Paul/Saul, he will quote the old Testament, but he won't be able to say anything positive or negative when it comes to what did Jesus say because you see, Jesus didn't directly talk about the subject at all.

Unless you understand the Eunuchs http://www.gaychristian101.com/Homosexual-Eunuchs.html In which Case Jesus himself didn't have problems with people born that way.

OF course dad is going to cling to his stance. Fine, let him have that.

We are commanded to respect our parents, we are not commanded to love them or to like them, or to even visit them on every Sunday or something. Some times respect means you put a couple three states or an ocean between you and them. Sometimes respect means you agree to disagree and sit on your laurels and not speak back.

Find a LGBT affirming church in your area, and demonstrate to dad that you still have God in your life by becoming a member. Don't worry, it will confuse your dad, it may actually upset him a lot more than your becoming an atheist or a pagan or something else.

When real Christians step up to the plate and show love, tolerance, acceptance, those so called Christians who use the bible as a weapon often get far more upset over that then over their petty hatreds.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I am really hoping he will come around.
I can't say we ever had a "close" relationship, he would always bully me when I was a kid growing up.
But now, even if he can't accept me for being gay, he doesn't have to continue telling me about how I will be burning in hell.
*shrugs*

Oh well, all I can do now is just wait and see how it plays out.

Hell. Hell is not a place of torment and fire. THat is the Lake of Fire which is reserved for those in the End Time that cast their lot with The Beast.

Hell, Gehenna, Hades, and all of the other names for that place is the grave.

We all go to Hell, and few humans ever get to heaven. If you really read the bible including the final book, Revelation (no 's' at the end, there is only one of them) you discover we all lay in our graves waiting for the final Trump where the dead are judged first, those found unworthy are cast out (sent to the second death, oblivion) the others get to come back to Earth to be with Jesus.

Not heaven. Jesus comes down to Earth, we stay on earth, which gets retrofitted, the oceans dry up, the mountains are leveled so all 15-20 billion of us will have plenty of room on the retrofitted Earth.

The teachings of a place of punishment and a place of reward (Hell and Heaven) is Church Doctrine, devised along with many other mythical, magical things in order to keep the masses in line as the Catholic Church became the the Super Power of the political world.

Your father is yet one of billions who is a victim of Doctrine. He has been purposefully lead astray by a priesthood who know exactly what they are doing. They all but stand up in seminary and say point blank 'We are teaching falsely'.

How do I know? I went through seminary, got my Doctorate of Ministry. I still qualify to wear a collar.

There is 'The Truth' and 'The Truth' - Yeah these look the same/sound the same - but one is based on real hard research and study (unless you can read Hebrew, Latin, Greek and Aramaic you will never really know the real truth). The other is based on having a faith in the Church - or a Church were a few select individuals are trained in how to tell you a 'truth' and how to spoon feed you the bible and teach you how to read the bible.

Instead of reading it like any other book, we are taught to take sentences from here and there and string them together out of their context to make up new meanings. If we did that with the Complete Works of Shakespeare we could have Shakespeare saying many terrible things.

Leviticus, that quote about man laying with another man. That has nothing to do with homosexuals. Put back into its chapter, its train of thought we find that its an admonishment of straight men having gay sex in order to worship a False God (in that case Moloch). What is unclean? Idoltry, not two men in love who share the same bed.

In context every other 'admonishment' against gays (pagans and many others) becomes far different than what the people who abuse those words want it to mean.

Dad has issues with homosexuality? Fine - ask him about shell fish, pork, wearing cotton-poly blends and all of the other fine details of Mosaic (Moses' Law) that Jesus lived to the letter in His life here on Earth.

Jesus did not abolish the Law. Paul/Saul abolished the law without Authority to do so. So that splinter and beam thing comes up, Dad's list of sins is far greater than he imagines/understands. He is focused on one perceived 'sin' here (which as long as you are not promiscuous is not a sin) instead of being focused on all that he does wrong.

This is yet another way that Organized Religion has made Christianity into a weapon. They weaponized Jesus and the Bible and have taught the laity to make war.

[zeon]

Hi,
How are things going now??? I dont know why men have this huge hiccup on the whole gay issue... I would want the best for my child if i was to ever be a dad and i dont expect anything more than seeing my child happy so why isnt your dad doing the same??? Many parenjts i know who go a little offish dont realise that their son or daughter is still the same regardless of who they THINK they are... Being gay isnt abnormal and it isnt a result in bad parenting or anything else like that its just about being the way we are like your dad is who he is because of how his genetics have made him and understanding an issue he creates can be the first step to getting him to accept it fully... Maybe sometime after his chilled he will analyise and realise your still you the only thing you did was basically let them know that your not going to be having kids by the same sexed partner your wanting to be with x

[mihai]

my grandma is a christian and when i told her i am gay she jsut said "good for you, who is the lucky guy"
lucky my parents are atheists...
anyway though luck , he will get along someday , when he will realize ...