What would you do when everything just goes wrong?

[John]

I don't know, I'm kinda alone...Everything just goes wrong... Relationship problem...life.... I couldn't sleep at nights and anorexic...

[pellaz]

concentrate on getting some sleep. I am sure you tried the usual stuff but change your diet, exercise could help.

talk about your problems with someone

[Blue]

Prioritize. Your health has to come first so, do whatever it takes to get you physically healthy, be that diet, exercise, professional help for anorexia, just get your body healthy. Then you can sort the rest out and work on one thing at a time. Don't let it all get into a giant, uncontrollable ball in your mind, take one thing at a time.

[Rainbowmum]

I have to agree with Blue.

Sweetie, if you want things to change , you must be the change.( Dali Lama)

It all starts with you, first and most important is your health, if you do not feel healthy , you can not feel good about anything.
Step by step, do not overwhelm yourself.

We are all here for you.

[John]

Thanks...I just talked to him, I asked him a question: "Do you hate me?", his reply is Nope. and that's it. and we didn't talk for like 3 weeks.. he didn't reply my msg or even if he did, it was just "thanks" "ok". What else that I can do?

[Daniel]

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through John...*hugs*. Yesterday I told my job to go f'ck itself and now I'm unemployed xD...problems do tend to pop up whenever they feel like it.

Though what I usually do to get my mind off my problems is writing. A huge depression is what got me into writing in the first place. Of course, this won't solve all of your problems, but a hobby is something you can turn to when you can't really handle solving problems anymore for the time being.

One has to take one problem at a time and have a safe haven to turn to when you are out of energy.
I'm not really that wise when it comes to problems, unlike many others here, but this forum is filled with wonderful people and we will all try to help you the best we can.

My biggest advice is to not drown in your own sorry, the best way to do that is to have something to hold on to, be it a hobby, person or anything where you feel comfortable. I hope everything works out.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Learn to change the things you can and learn to accept the things you can't.

Things you can change - what and how often you eat. Yeah sure you may not like to eat, but you can eat. You have immense control right there, well unless you live in a third world nation where there is no food, then you just pretty much starve.... You can't change the local economy.

You can change how you feel about things. Honestly you have a lot more control over how you feel on a thing than you think.

Things you are going to have to accept. How I feel, how Mum Feels, how your parents feel, how your BF feels.... You can't change us. Oh sure you may wish to change us, but you can't. Accept that.

Can't change the economy, can't change the weather. Can't change the local building code (Trust me I have tried real hard on that one), can't change the local politics. Can't change the direction the sun sets, can't change the seasons and tides. Can't change your genetics to be a little shorter, or taller, bigger or smaller, blacker or whiter, whatever... These are all things you have to accept.

I'm not sayings its going to be easy to accept those things you can't change. Half of the struggle is to acknowledge that you can't change them. Once you understand that you can't change those things, it gets a bit easier to accept.

You can change how you feel about things, how you react to things. I mean you can go out side and scream every dawn at the sun for rising in the east, get all upset and angry and throw things, but will that change where the sun rises? No. You can change what you do in response, instead of going out to curse the dawn, you can stay inside or you can choose to go out and dance in the morning light.

Its like that with pretty much all things. You can make a choice about how you respond to things.

Eating disorders are pretty much a power issue. The patient is usually seeking to control something in a world that they are pretty much unable to control much of anything. Those who learn to accept the things they cannot change and learn to really change the things they can usually get better, feel better and live a long and fruitful life.

I guarantee you that if you ate a sandwich now and then and actually tended tot he needs of the body that the needs of the mind, heart and soul are tended to as well. I bet that sleeping disorder is largely if not wholly caused by your not eating.

As for Him (the BF).

You either have to love him as he is and accept him as he is, or you are going to have to drop him like a bad habit, wash your hands of him and move on.

You can't force people to love you. Well you can, throw them in a hole and throw down a bottle of lotion and tell them 'It puts the lotion on the skin, or it gets the hose again' - Do it long enough and they develop a good deal of love (Stockholm Syndrome) . Seriously do you want to force somebody to love you? Or would you rather they love you because they really love you?

He isn't going to say anymore than 'yeah, nope, thanks' whatever. He most likely is not programmed for complex responses. Asking him to do more is like asking your toaster to do the dishes - sorry its not in a toasters design to do the dishes, that is why we have dishwashers.

You can change how you respond and react to him. You can change if you are in this 'relationship' or not. You can't change him.

[Nick9]

Thank you for the first part, B.A.

about the BF... I don't know. Sometimes not accepting the things and talking them through may help. If it doesn't help, then I would apply your advice...

John, I don't know anything about your relationship, its length and your possible other problems, but your life partner should be more supportive when you need it. Are you sure he has some good character traits that balance this lack of support?

[Bricg1970]

Everything in life has something bad BUT also it has something Good and that creates the balance, we tend always to focus in the negative side of thinks and disregard the bright side.

Always what happen is the best even if it causes pain, but at the end is the best, and we must accepted and then learn from the experience

[John]

Thank you for the advices and of course the supports from you guys. I'm feeling better now. Started to eat things and talked to my friends. And I know, I couldn't force him... If he is mine, he will come back no matter what. I always believe in that.