is he cheating on me???

[lazyboy]

no, i don't know why this is so unclear, the main thing is that we tell each other after or before if we meet someone but we've never met anyone outside of each other so far-this is only a temporary arrangement while i am away for a few months. The main condition was that we tell each other!! And yeah we agreed on protection or at least getting tested before we have sex again

[princealbertofb]

no this is not true, did not give him permission to mess around as much as he pleases. what we mutually agreed is that if we mess around with someone, we would tell each other that we did so. this was the main agreement. Right now it may be sort of an open relationship because we are far away from each other for a couple of months but prior to this it has been very much a monogamous relationship. the main thing that i want is him to inform me of any bits on the side he may have as i would not get as jealous if it was not a secret, that's what i feel.

It seems to me that if that's the going rule, then this is the rule that you have to set with your boyfriend, making sure that he understands it. It seems pretty straightforward to me.

Everyone here seems to condemn the stalking and spying bit... (not very cool), but given your insecurities, I think you can say something to the effect that you'd prefer the relationship to be monogamous, even if you understand that he might stray. However if you find out he's strayed, because it's the new rule that he should tell you, how is that going to make you feel about your relationship?

Are you looking for a reason to ''forgive'' him, or to end the relationship? It seems to me the emphasis on the new rule is HONESTY. You'd prefer to know, if he strays, rather than be kept in the dark... Maybe you'd be living your relationship through vicarious sex (I don't know???). Anyway, since HONESTY is the new rule, just tell him that, and add that the relationship is NOT OPEN, as far as you're concerned. You can't control him, neither near nor from afar, so you might as well be down to earth about it. Shit (sometimes) happens. But are you ready to believe him if he says he has been faithful to you?

[NrtdSandlin]

So what, he has slept with guys before! That happens, no matter how many it may have been! Just relax and if he has fucked up and you find out about it, then let it happen normally. Stop trying to catch him in it bc then no one wants to be with you bc you are always trying to catch them doing something that they shouldn't be doing. It's called being over possessive. Just breathe and step off.