Is it my fault my Cousin passed away?

[unkown21]

Im terribly sorry for your loss. Losing a family membee or someone close is tragic and upsetting. Let me first say, it is not your fault. I can tell you this because i am a full time Paramedic. I run a lot of pts where this sort of thing happens, and the family membera always feel guilt. Here is an example that i have been a part of. I got called to a cardiac arrest pt in the afternoon one day. The patients wife left to go to the grocery store and when she came back she found her husband on the ground unresponsive. She called 911 and my Medic unit was dispatched to the patients residence. Statistics say that every minute you are without a pulse and apneic (not breathing) a 10 percent chance of life is lost. The brain is very vulnerable without oxygen and can make a descent recovery.after 4-6 minutes.. Anything after that there is a chance for brain damage. This poor lady blamed herself for going to the grocery store. She felt that her husbands death was her fault because she wasnt there for him. Unfortunately our patient was down for too long and we werent able to get him back. One thing i try and explain to people is that it didnt matter what you did, that patient was going to have a heart attack regardless if she decided to go to the grocery store or not. im not saying that i belive in predestination but from a medical aspect of things, tje body can only take so much before it shuts down. As good moral people when tragedy happens we always reflect and think about what we could have done differently to fix or prevent something from happening. for example, im sure that if the patients wife had known that her husband was goingvto have a heart attack, she wouldnt have gone to the grocery store. And im sure the same is in your case. We just dont know when tragedy will strike. Its okay to to mourn for your loved ones loss, but dont blame yourself. Hang in there brother, stay strong

Ryan.

[Beaux]

Aww Honey,
My husband and I are from Louisiana. We survived two hurricanes before we finally moved away. We know what living through one means. I can say, with out hesitation, you cannot reasonable blame your self. Life and Death happen. We all choose what we will go through before we are even born.
I love you,
Beau

[Dreamer]

Death can't be blamed on someone, unless they went out of their way to kill someone else aka murder them.

You had no intent to harm him in anyway.

He had an illness that you yourself had no say in controlling or monitoring.

Everything was done in great effort to keep him here, but it was his time to go.

Death is so unpredictable, and you can't hold responsibility for the unknown.

I'm sorry for your loss.:frown:

Celebrate his life, and he'll live on in the memories you'd shared.

[BellyNel]

Sorry, I haven't been here in a while. Thank you from the paramedic's words. I am slowly getting over his passing. It's still painful. I am sitting in his spot in the living room, next to his last moments on Earth. I feel so wrong sitting here. I am expecting him to awake from his nap, ask something about the SyFy program that he just slept through. But never again. :'-(

[Tombo]

It is in no way your fault, self-blame is a stage of grief!

You must be going through a really tough time, we're all here for you at GaySpeak *hugs*

[WaltHitman]

I'm sorry BN ~ for you and your family.
thought I heard a glimmer in there of "If I'd have been more aware Wednesday and watched better..." and if that is how you feel - I am not too sure that if you had been there every minute it would have changed what happened to him.
You're a disaster victim as much as the rest of your family there and I'm very sorry to hear what happened to you.
What you do have is the wealth of his heart in the wealth of yours and that's what is holding you up right now.
To feel helpless is among the WORST feelings people have to deal with, yet we so often are.
I hope as time goes on you will start taking some comfort in the great memories, the true things he gave you on the inside and be able to celebrate his life as it sounds like he did.
Best Wishes to you and yours there.
Hang on to yourself so you can hang on to your mom and others too.